A Milestone

I know it is a milestone, but then there will be more milestones and I will not miss those, I promise.

That was me 25 years ago, I was in college and I had my exams so I could not travel back home. Once I am done with college, no more exams so no reason for me to be not there; no power to stop me from being there.

But here we stand, 25 years later, another milestone and this time a power bigger than all of us stopping me from being there. But, like last one, I am there in spirit, right next to you singing, smiling, dancing, and thanking God for this day.

This day 50 years ago when two of you got married.

HAPPY GOLDEN JUBILEE 

Ma and Papa.

I am sure a lot changed in these 50 years. The world around you is not the same. From the little house in Amritsar to something is Harsar (where the awesomeness was born 😊) to Amritsar again and then Jammu and Udhampur and Jammu and Chandigarh and then Mohali. I am sure this must have been quite a journey. And I am thankful for you for holding my hand in a lot part of that journey and making me capable of what ever I am today.

50 years, so many places, so many seasons, so many situations the one thing that I have not seen change is your love for each other including the fights you pick with each other frequently😊. Anyone can see the mutual love and care that you embody even during your complaining moments. 

I will not add too many words here as words mean nothing compared to the fact that 50 years of togetherness is an amazing feat. A feat that certainly calls to be celebrated. A feat that is worth learning from and following for all. 

Although for a formal celebration in the worldly way, we will have to wait till the travel restrictions are lifted and planet becomes safe again for people. But for a real celebration that blooms in the heart and make one’s eyes shine; That has already started in my heart.

Celebrating the love, Celebrating the fights, Celebrating the caring, Celebrating the guidance, Celebrating the freedom, celebrating togetherness, Celebrating joy, Celebrating us all as an awesome family and that starts with you.

Happy 50^th Anniversary Ma and Papa.

I Missed being there on 25^th and now missing to be there on 50^th but will be there on the 75^th; I promise.

Emotions trip - Stop 2 (FEAR)

2^nd stop on the emotions trip, Fear. Just some thoughts weaved together on that . Hope they help

What is there to be afraid of? I have always been baffled by that question. In my opinion the key fear is the fear of unknown. So, when you know what is out there to be afraid of then you can plan to overcome it. And so, Fear is when you do not know what is there.

Unfortunately, the present days have given us an unknown enemy. And, this unknown enemy with the unknown ways it manifests, and hunts has added the 2nd layer of unknown on how to handle it. And being humans, the creatures of logic and emotions at the same time we at mass level have decided to stay away from it till our kind succeeds to find a way to tackle. And that adds the third layer of unknown, the impact on economy. The impact on our very way of living. And also another, when will I be together with my distant family, for those who live away, that leads to a superlative unknown fear; will I ever be able to? And that can be too scary to fathom.

So, the problem statement is very clear but what about the solution. So Let me start with a cliché (one of the most used statement from an Indian blockbuster from the seventies) जो डर गया समझो मर गया (Jo darr Gaya samjho mar gaya) - "The one who surrenders to fear ceases to live."

And We Cannot cease to live so We Must not surrender to the fear. 

So, what can we do? is a big question. And below is my attempt to answer that. 

Change the Vocabulary; I have heard people around me (and sometime myself too) say that we are confined to home. Confinement is forced: but this is voluntary; Let us refrain from use of such vocabulary. Remember we all are staying at home to prepare against the enemy that lurks in unknown ways. And we can do that by increasing our immunity, both physical and mental.

Find areas of self-improvement; be it a habit that you need to break or a habit that you need to develop. Weight that needs chiseling down or pounds that needs to be gained. A chronic discomfort that needs to be overcome. This is the time to do that. And everyone can do that in-spite of the office work that you have. I am sure each one of us used to spend a few hours in commute to office every day, and that time can be invested in improving the self. That can strengthen the Physical self. That can help build physical immunity against the alien bodies like virus. Smoking, gluttony, alcoholism, habitual drugs all those can be overcome when you are committed. Now that you are away from external distractions which you have many times blamed for those habits.

Adopt a spiritual habit; some of my friends are observing fasts (As this is Muslim holy month of Ramadan). That is a good thing as that can help both physical and spiritual side of health . But for others also; praying or meditating a few minutes a day, observing occasional fasting and trying to connect with spiritual self should be easier as there are lesser distractions (no commute, no long grocery lines etc.)

Develop gratitude for what is. In this age of information when everything is available at your fingertips (OR just by thumb gestures on your smart phones) remember that is a blessing. Just think of a pre -cellphone and even pre computer era and think if those were the times, how difficult it could have been to exercise basic safety. Gratitude build strength and weakens fear. I guarantee that it does.

Don’t be afraid of possible Job -loss: If you are afraid of losing your job; DO NOT! Your fear is not going to improve the outcome (it may worsen it). Remember to give your best to what you have on work front for today, and every day. Think of how your work can help your organization and your coworkers. See if you can help someone save another day at work. Every effort will count, as all of us are in this together. Prepare for next day and then next. Remind yourself of your strengths at work and do not let your lack of strengths be a reason for losing a job. Everything else is external and will take care of itself when the situation improves.

All these when done well will be your armor when you step out after the lockdown is lifted. The virus will be out there, but you will be ready to protect yourself from it and in rare case you fail at that; you will have a body strong to fight it and throw it out of your system with no damage. And if we all do it all of us and our families local and remote will stay strong and normalcy will eventually restore.

Overcome the fear by doing what you can and building your strength. By gaining sufficient knowledge and following the scientific community advises. By not being afraid but being careful. And by being hopeful always.

I will end this with another cliched line in hindi (Dar ke aage jeet hai)  डर के आगे जीत है 

 - Beyond fear lies the Victory!! And  (Fighter hamesha jet ta hai ) फाइटर हमेशा जीतता है;  Fighter always wins...

PS: Just realized both the hindi lines I used in this post are connected not just in topic but also by something else, much deeper than words and meanings- So friends if you know what is the connection do post in comments.. Let this be our little game 😊

कुछ चीज़ें बेशक़ीमती होती हैं - आज़ादी

Some of you may remember I shared some Poems in this series a few years ago. Mostly nostalgia. Today I feel like sharing one more, and this time more a pain and remembering some of the things that we had taken for granted. With the Poem below: I want to remind myself and everyone that we do not forget these days when all this is over. And always be grateful for the freedoms that we enjoy and take for granted. This loss of some of those basic freedoms as we are forced to now; should stay a constant reminder and a constant gratitude in our hearts.

कुछ चीज़ें बेशक़ीमती होती हैं - आज़ादी 

कुछ चीज़ें बेशक़ीमती होती हैं 

जैसे बे-डर जीने की आज़ादी 

आज सब डर से घर में दुबके बैठे हैं 

डर के शातिर कारिंदे कहाँ  छुपे, दिखते भी नहीं 

दोस्तों से हम मिलते नहीं, अभी मिल सकते ही नहीं

वक्त चल रहा है पर कदम चलते ही नहीं 

कुछ दिन पहले तक तो महफिलें खिलती थी 

एक दूसरे से मिलते थे हम, 

तब तो खुशियां मिलती थी 

मन हो वहां जाते थे 

मनमाना घुमते थे, मनचाहा खाते थे 

अब डर भुला पहले सा करना चाहो 

तो मन कसूरवार सा लगता है 

कब वापिस पहले सा होगा 

मजबूर मन पूछा  करता है 

कैद से कटते दिन,

आज़ादी का मोल बताते हैं 

कभी बाहर कभी कल को देखते है 

हम और खुद को फिर समझाते है 

सचमुच कुछ चीज़ें बेशक़ीमती होती हैं
जैसे बे-डर जीने की आज़ादी  

  कुछ चीज़ें बेशक़ीमती होती हैं  

जैसे .....................

Some old links below to remind you what my last posts in this series were about…. Another way to express how times have changed for now

https://nuancesofbeing.blogspot.com/2015/10/blog-post.html

https://nuancesofbeing.blogspot.com/2015/10/blog-post_11.html

https://nuancesofbeing.blogspot.com/2015/10/blog-post_13.html

https://nuancesofbeing.blogspot.com/2015/10/blog-post_15.html

https://nuancesofbeing.blogspot.com/2015/11/blog-post.html

https://nuancesofbeing.blogspot.com/2016/11/blog-post.html

https://nuancesofbeing.blogspot.com/2016/11/blog-post_26.html

Emotions trip - Stop 1 (ANGER)

Last few weeks have pushed most of us to live and work in different circumstances than we were all used to in our lives. With change comes a flood of emotions. I have been witnessing some of these emotions in me, my friends, my family and so on. I thought I will write something to just plant some thoughts on handling these. Below is my 1^st attempt (a Short story that I wrote, ideally for Children; but we all can, hopefully use some of the lesson). I have a few other emotions that I would pen down stories, Anecdotes or notes about in the days to come, if you like this one. Please comment and share your thoughts. This is stop 1 on the Emotions Trip ....

And this is how the story goes…..

Cloud had always been a wanderer. Kept moving from one place to another. So, he could never have any friends. Also, him staying so much above most of the land did not make it easy to even get introduced to anyone. But one day while he was crossing the “Immaculate Island”, that changed. The “Glowing Mountain” on the island, that had its head always sticking closer to the cloud, smiled and said hello! Cloud had never been addressed directly by anyone, so it Did not know what to say. but soon it learnt, wanderers can pick a thing or two while roaming. That started a friendship between the mountain and the cloud which went on for no one know how long. 

One month when the weather had been unnaturally harsh, cloud returned to the island. The cloud must have been tired and upset over past days with weather harshness and lonely journeys. It looked too grey and gloomy. Mountain knew that when his friend cloud is grey; that means he is storing a lot and can rain very hard. But Mountain also knew that with already cold weather a harsh rain can harm the birds and animals occupying its slopes and caves. So, mountain asked cloud if he can spare the rain to save the birds and animals in the trees were already wary of the cold. Cloud was upset and in no mood to listen. He was already too grey, filled and ready to burst.

Mountain continued pleading with the cloud and that made cloud angrier; but somehow mountain missed seeing that. Then the mountain smiled and teasingly said, “My friend stop being stubborn and let me tell you something that will make you happy.”

But the clouds anger had grown, especially after hearing the word stubborn. He didn’t even acknowledge anything that mountain had said after that word. Cloud just got into a fit of rage and roared. And everyone know clouds roar is nothing but thunder. With the loud thunder a lighting bolt left the cloud and struck the peak of the mountain. Cloud in that moment realized that he had gone too far in his anger. But it was too late. The damage was done. Mountains head which always stayed closer to the cloud was already destroyed with the thunder bolt and rolling towards the feet of the mountain. 

That was the last time Cloud was addressed as " my friend". That one moment of anger had taken cloud’s only friend for all eternity. And cloud will live ages to mourn that and regret his anger.

The local folks on Immaculate island say, the cloud still regrets and always shed tears while crossing the Immaculate island and looking at the severed head of the only friend he had. Those tears fall as drizzle on the island giving life to all, but cloud could never get his friend back. Such is the consequence of anger.

Anger, if not controlled, is the moment of thunder striking the mountain, just one moment can cause ever-lasting damage.