Travel and Life

 I am sure everyone travels for work, pleasure, family and other reasons. My typical model is that I will neatly pack my things in the suitcases, take the trip. Will reach my travel destination, unpack. Initially neatly arranging the cloths and other items, that I need to use over the trip, in closets and drawers available.

Then the actual need for travel starts, be it work or leisure. However, I get so engrossed in the activities that I am never able to maintain the proper placement of cloths and other items neatly anymore. The cloths will start cluttering on the side chair and the shoes and socks near the door on the floor,

the toiletries cluttered on the bathroom counter and so on.

Then comes the time to return, and I get in the frenzied mode of collecting, cleaning, folding and placing things back in the suitcases. This is a stressful time. The items don’t fit, will not fold as neatly as they were when the journey had started, there will be kinks and wrinkles that are too stubborn to go and so on. I still don’t leave anything behind just because it is wrinkly or didn’t fit easily in suitcases. I exert effort to make room for everything.

Contemplating life as a journey I feel we follow similar process but may be somewhat less seriously.

When we start conscious life (after the toddler days of living like kings and Queens, thanks to parents) we start developing habits and building relations. Formal ones and informal ones. We keep these habits and relations with utmost care as we start. This is akin to unpacking and neatly arranging at the start of travel. Then we utilize those relations, and habits and at times ignore how we maintain afterwards. They lay scattered in our lives somewhere; at time ignored or being taken for granted. However, unlike the items on travel, the relations are mutual and with people who have own feelings, and mostly being taken for granted makes the wrinkles (of discontent) develop in the relations. Sometimes we take care of those during the journey and try to iron and maintain and make them better, but other times the wrinkles just set in deep (discontent becomes anger and disgruntlements).

Then at some point life journey starts getting to a point where it seems that some irreversible destinations (read other world) are inevitable and then eventually the end of the tour. Many of us foreseeing the turns of no-return start packing the bags again. Reaching out to the scattered and ignored relations. Trying to iron out the wrinkles. Reaching out to soften the fabric that binds and remembering how good the past experience had been. The only problem is that there are some wrinkles where pride had set in, and they will not be smoothened easily or sometimes not smoothened at all. But we should not leave them behind, unattended. Make peace with those and seek forgiveness, even if your pride says otherwise.

For such cloths with wrinkles, will you just leave them scattered ignored on the side chair, and leave them there for good? No, you do pack every single shirt, how badly it is crumpled on that chair. At the end of your journey, you always pack everything even if the creases were not smooth and the suitcase was bulging? For relations do the same; reach out and try to smoothen drop your ego and extend a hand or a hug. But better than that, just do a daily maintenance. Why wait till the journey is about to end? Why not do regular maintenance and give importance to those regularly?

Travel or life, this will work equally well; if you are, on a regular basis, neatly sorting and saving things like they were on the day one, the wrinkles will not develop, the creases will hold, the softness will be deep and not only on the surface. The value will be retained. And at the end of journey; it will be easy, no stress. Which some feel that is the key to a happier place beyond the current travels.

 

 

 

Honesty- "best policy" or "personal undoing"

Honesty is the best policy, something that was taught very passionately by my parents and teachers when I was little. This is also a message that dug in its firm roots in my mind from very early age. Even when the meaning of honesty was not as well known.

For one to know what honesty is, one must know the alternative. Children are born so pure that there is no concept of dishonesty hence they don’t really know honesty. They know only one way and that is being true to the emotions. Then we start growing and conditioning and learning on how to pick words that are 'socially- appropriate' or hide emotions or display emotions that are not very true.

Parents, teachers, society still tells you that honesty is the best policy at that stage. That statement confirms a few things. Firstly, Honesty is not the only way; there are other ways than being honest. 2^nd, the other ways may be more gratifying. Also, honesty may be a difficult path to follow. Yet it is better to be honest as Honesty is the best policy.

I will leave next few lines blank to give you a pause and meditate on the above paragraph and see if you think any of those statements are incorrect or overreaching.

Now that brings to the general process of growing up. From pre-school to high school and then college followed by professional life, at every stage honesty becomes more difficult trait to uphold in day-to-day activities and conversations. Society and culture teach to be politically correct (A.K.A - don’t be honest in words or emotions if they point to an uncomfortable fact). I can fully agree with that in circumstances where it is exercised to avoid being hurtful to others. However, at times it is observed that political correctness in dealings and conversations is followed even when the end results can be damaging. The one who points to the fallacy of situation stating some uncomfortable facts is usually not the one who is happily invited to the parties of future. So, the honest is punished. Yet Honesty stays the best policy.

In the choice of being politically correct or being correct, what will you choose? I know one answer can not fit all situations. The answer can vary from time to time, situation to situation and personal relations.

Some common thoughts to ponder upon below. I have a few situational questions. Read them and think what you will pick (A) an honest answer or (B) a politically correct/ socially acceptable answer.

And if you picked B mostly, will you still feel that Honesty is the best policy? And if you picked A mostly, are you a social outcast already?

When your wife asks, “am I looking fat?”

When your host asks, “Is the food good?”

When your coworkers/ friends ask, “How are you doing?”

When your child asks, “Am I the smartest/cutest/ best?”

When your child asks, “Do you lie?”

When your doctor asks, “How are you?”

When your manager asks (after a company announcement), “are you excited?”

When your teacher asks, “Was the class/training useful?”

When your friend asks, “Would you support me if I am wrong?”

My list can go on for a few pages or you can create your own lists as well. Can be a great idea for a party game and the answers can shift based on the amount of alcohol consumed.

Any how the final question that I will ask you is that irrespective of your picks to the questions above and how you make your decisions in life, do you see Honesty as the best policy? Or do you feel Honesty can be one’s undoing?

My answer to that question, it is both; it is the best policy as facing the uncomfortable truths is what paves the road for future, and it is the personal undoing as the one stating the uncomfortable truth is outcast.

For those who feel this thought is stretched please refer to lives (and death) of Galileo, Socrates, Aristotle, even Jesus. And also refer to the contribution of their uncomfortable truths to humanity

My conclusion:

Honesty is the best policy (in the long run for greater good)

Honesty can be one’s undoing (in the short run for the chronic honest)