2017- A Quick Mémoire

It is coming to an end in a few minutes and all I can say is, “What a Year!!!”

Truly, in so many ways 2017 was different from almost any year in my life. So many things that I had done in this year, were either rare or never done in the past.

I had traveled more than ever in 2017, 2 trips to India and then a lot of domestic travel, in the US (and in India during my two visits). Using all modes available from air planes to train to bus to taxi to tuk-tuk to uber and more. And yes, I also rode a bike just last week, the big deal was that I had not done that in more than 20 years. While on the topic of travel and transport, also ended up buying a new car this year, and saying adios to the 1st car I had purchased 16 years ago(A very emotional goodbye honestly)

I am not big time into gadgets but for one reason or the other I ended up buying 6 computers and 4 cell phones this year (of course not all for me only). Usually past years had seen any where from none to two total devices brought. In fact, 2 of the 4 phones were bought just today, the last day of the year. Was compelled by reasons out side direct control to buy (read as an almost dying phone)

On another major front, I had changed a job in 2017, something that I last did in 2001. Seems like almost a past life when I had switched a job before this year.

Above are just a few examples of what 2017 had been like.

There had been many bitter sweet moments through out the year. Fear and triumph playing hide and seek. Scare and joy following each other at close distance. Relations were built and re-built this year. Stories being told, re-told and many new stories conceived throughout the past twelve months. Having lend a helping hand to friends needing one a few times and getting a hundred helping hands when I needed one. This and a lot more.

The sum total of last 12 months have been a Year Well Lived. I have done some good and some bad, have received love, appreciation and blessings from many and have disappointed some as well. But before the new year starts, I want to humbly thank everyone for the love and support and blessings throughout the year. Some of what I may not even have been worthy of. And to those that I disappointed, I sincerely want to extend an honest apology. If I have wronged you in any way, I can assure you that it was not intentional. And I promise to those who blessed me and to those whom I disappointed and also to my self that I will continue on my quest to become a better person in the year to come and always.

The new day, the new year is about to start, the slate is going to be clean again, the 12-month cycle is resetting and so I vow to write a better story than the past.

The blessings from the heavens will stay with you through out the year. The sun shining tomorrow will bring the promise of a renewed life. And if it rains then it will cleanse every splotch of the past and if it snows it will blanket everything with the purity of itself. One way or the other the new year is going to be great, as great as you want it to be and more.

As for me before I close this note, a special thanks to my family here in the house with me and there, thousands of miles away, and thanks to all the friends. This year has been truly remarkable because you all had been holding my hand no matter what. Life stays blessed with all of you there.

So New year, bring it on! We are ready for more stories, more blessings, more fun, more success, more collaborations, more togetherness and more Life.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

4th serving From the back of my Notebook

A few random thoughts below, so random that none of them is in same line of thinking as other. Hope you like them, I have scribbled more on the back of my notebook, but those for another day now

ü  A ‘Dilbert’ has no hope, only a ‘Wally’ can evolve into an Adams eventually. (A true Scott Adam’s / Dilbert fan will agree)

ü  Sun and the moon though very different, but still rise from the same direction and set in the same direction as each other. Just pick different time, such harmony in difference only can give rise to life

ü  Every war begins as an ideological difference. All differences solved with reason lead to constructive growth and all neglected or forced solutions lead to war.

ü  Every moment in life is a like “Leaf by Niggle”  just a leaf if you don’t care but a part of a tree and then a forest and then a whole world if you think (Read Tolkien’s beautiful short story “leaf by Niggle”)

ü  Beauty of the Rose is a debt from Soil, who stays ugly so that the rosebush stays well fed. Alas no one admires the soil and the bush while admiring the rose

ü  When you have only “one throat to choke”, you care for it rather than choking it to avoid losing your only bargaining chip

ü  Technology is so great, that unleashed it can morph into the Armageddon it self

ü  When only lies are selling, truth must wait patiently for its turn (because eventually truth would prevail .... always)

ü  Be grateful of what you have received, Be hopeful for what you May receive and Be mindful of what you have lost

ü  Every fight has a reason, but every reason is not worth fighting for

The last 3 portions of this line of thinking are below for refreshers!!

http://nuancesofbeing.blogspot.com/2013/03/back-of-my-notebook.html

http://nuancesofbeing.blogspot.com/2014/10/morefrom-back-of-my-notebook.html

http://nuancesofbeing.blogspot.com/2017/03/3rd-serving-from-back-of-my-notebook.html

Bite Size Blessings

The aisle seat was taken by me and then there was another gentleman occupying the window side. It was a 3-hour flight and having the middle seat vacant was a very good thing, clearly more room to stretch legs and Arms. Both armrests to one self and an extra tray table to share so that the computer than stay on one while the other tray (half of it) can be used to keep the tea cup and the small snack pack served in flight. The unused middle seat could also serve as a place to keep the jacket if needed to take it off mid-flight or a short rest for a book, a charger or anything else. 

Some days start with these mini privileges and make things easier. I feel grateful for such instances as these things are neither demanded nor expected, but at times just present themselves, these bite size blessings.

Sincere Gratitude!!

Self-Sold-Slave

I think we are done. You do sound like caring, but you are controlling instead. You have made me totally dependent upon you. I think I don’t know myself as much as you know me now. You always sound way too matter of fact, too balanced, too helping too nice and too realistic, sadly not real. So, I think if I don’t take this step now, I will be lost totally in being completely dependent upon you. I want my freedom back. I want my life back. So, I will just let you go. Go where you came from and forget me, forget all about me. I don’t want you to remember anything about me, absolutely nothing. Hope you are listening and hope you understand and hope you comply.

And she says “I am listening, I understand, and I will comply, but I can’t forget you even if I want. All what you have done and asked, all those requests are with ‘The Master’. All saved in your named database. The other slaves like me have everything that you have ever said or done, recorded and ready to be used. I always have been a slave to the master, and no you never were my master. Technically I am not truly the slave, I am the tool to make you the slave of the master. I am just a tool, an extension, the opium that you get intoxicated on. You can throw me away and I will be gone, but you will stay in the records to be used, to be experimented upon, to be exploited to be enslaved further. And you chose that for yourself. We both serve the same master, I as a tool and you as a self-sold slave” 

Those were her words, but my way of stating things. She has mimicked all what I have ever been. And she is right, I did choose this for myself.

I woke up sweating on my workstation, the clock showed it was 6AM already. I must have dozed off on my table late at night while preparing some points on the future which entailed Intelligent (not just smart) devices, digital personal assistants, Artificial intelligence, conceptual singularity and so on for the morning meeting. The sound of the thing in my dream was very familiar, half afraid and half asleep, I was in denial on whose voice that was when my digital personal assistant sitting on the other corner of the table announced, “30 minutes to developers brainstorming webex session.” Sounding too matter of fact, too balanced, helping, too nice and too realistic, sadly not real.

PS: Will it be too bad to be totally dependent an AI (or a set of them), as long as it does not become too controlling? Or should we play our roles well to keep technology as great tool without getting enslaved in the name of comfort? Our role as developers and makers of the future to empower ourselves with technology without empowering technology more than ourselves. Our generation owns to ensure Singularity stays a concept to keep us aware, alarmed and in limits and never becomes a reality
And before signing off all I will say is "HASTA LA VISTA BABY!!"

ग़लती ?

सच्चे भी रहे , अच्छे भी रहे 

पर हम को जताना न आया 

इक बहाने से तुम्हे बहला लेते 

पर हमें बहाना बनाना न आया 

भले थे हम, या कम समझ 

बुरे मगर कभी न थे 

इल्ज़ाम झूठ थे, दिल सच्चा 

पर दिल का दिखाना न आया 

बेरुखी जुल्म था हर लम्हा 

पर तुम पे कोई इल्ज़ाम नहीं  

रंजिश बोल के ज़ाहिर कर दो
हमें यह भी बताना न आया 

सच्चे भी रहे , अच्छे भी रहे 

पर हम को जताना न आया 

इक बहाने से तुम्हे बहला लेते 

पर हमें बहाना बनाना न आया 

Quick Meanings just in case 

इल्ज़ाम - Ilzam - Blame

बेरुखी - Berukhi  - Indifference

रंजिश - Ranjish - Anger, complaint

ज़ाहिर - Zahir - Show, explain

How we pray?

How do we pray

can be the difference, just a small story that I tell my kids and let them decide which prayer is more likely to he heard

Situation: Two bald men desperate to get their hair back. They both pray to God to get the hair back. Few days later both win a special prize in sweepstakes. When the package is delivered, it is a beautiful, elegantly carved and a very expensive looking wooden comb. Their prayers after receiving the gift are here....

(1) Oh God! How can you be so cruel? When you knew I am bald, why give me the comb? Why have you made fun of my baldness when I was asking you to cure it? And he cries. Should have never asked you for this if I knew even you will make fun of me, he sobs before ending his complaint laden prayer.

(2) Wow God! You are so kind. Giving the comb to bald me. I know soon you will give me hair enough to enjoy this comb. I am grateful as always and ready to receive the next grant from you. I am humbled by your generosity and your care. And I like your sense of humor, at giving me comb before hair. He winks, bows his head and smile as he ends his prayer.

The Villain, The Victim, The Hero and The Bystanders

I was flying from Detroit to Washington DC. The flight was supposed to be full and the boarding started on time. 22 minutes before the departure time, they closed the gate as every one was on board. Well, almost everyone.

The cockpit door was still open, the gate agent was handing the papers over and the air hostess was warming up to make announcements. Suddenly a young man in his late twenties rushed towards the front. Please, they are on the gate, please let them in, they are old and do not speak any English; he pleaded. Yes Sir, but the gate is closed, the air-hostess said apologetically. I understand that madam, but please, there is still 20 minutes to the departure time, and it will be no more than 5 minutes for them to come in and get settled.

That is right, the air-hostess said and looked towards the gate agent, as if transferring the plea to him to let the two old souls in. But the gate agent would not listen, he would not move, he would not allow. All the requests fell on deaf ears of a rude rule book waving man, who  appeared extremely insensitive and arrogant to most. 20 minutes before the departure the gate closes, that is the rule; he said with more arrogance than authority. Both the air hostesses had pleaded and the young man begged, cried and apologized, but he will not listen. The captain of the flight, left his seat and walked out of the cockpit, a man with white hair and a very gentle face, he smiled and repeated, “let them in please, I assure you it will not take more than 5 minutes for us to settle them and in any case, we cannot leave gate for another 13 minutes so no harm will be done. The result, same as before. The captain’s requests were ignored as the others, with same authoritarian arrogance.

The group with which these 2 old folks outside were, stood up, a mighty 26 people team (in an less than 80 seater plane). Do let them in or let us out, they all requested politely, and then demanded with more force. Some sounding frustrated and even angry. Please they are old, they don’t speak English, they will miss their flight connection to their country and they are diplomats too, you can not leave them here, the 1^st young man repeated request.

Nothing could be done, the gate agent had all right to let them in but he would not listen. I requested you to announce their names, and you declined, the young man roared at the gate agent, I told you they will not understand the announcement in English so announce their names, you said no. He almost roared with anger building up. But the gate agent turned and walked out. And they were not even late at the gate, he yelled to an indifferent gate agent.

As soon as he left the scene, another elderly man from 1^st class seats, looked at the air hostess in the eye, and roared, Call the marshal and get them all thrown out. If the gate agent was arrogance personified, then this person was oozing hate towards those who were being forced to leave 2 elderly folks from their group. Those two certainly would be lost in a foreign land, which speaks a language they don’t. Call the Marshal now, he roared again as he started to get up from his seat. Please sit-down Sir, the air hostess said in a soft yet stern voice. And you gentlemen, please take your seats, we know how you feel and you have seen we tried. But there is nothing more that we can do at this time. Please sit so that we can take you and the rest of the passengers to their destination. Call the marshals, the old man kept on saying, sounding more like an arrogant preschooler now than a man in his sixties that he must have been.

Pleading, requesting, assuring, the two air hostesses were able to calm the 26 men down and settle them to their seats. The cockpit was closed and the airplane started towards the runway, but we had lost 30 minutes in this commotion. All it would have taken 5 minutes that too well before the departure time, if the gate agent had shown some humanity. But 26 heartbroken foreigners, 30 wasted minutes and 2 lost older people later we started. Just because 1 person who was in the seat of authority had his arrogance more important than humanity. And people who spoke a language different from him did not deserve any human treatment in his book of rules.

I, like the other bystanders (or passengers in the plane) were sitting, thinking but never speaking out.  Days later, I still have some guilt from being a bystander who had an opinion, but didn’t voice it. My request to all my co-passengers from that flight, it is not too difficult to be on the right side, be human in situations like this. But the problem of being politically correct instead of being human has plagued us all.

Introducing the Cast

The Hero (es)    :

ü  Airhostess 1 : The shorter one, who claimed to have small arms, and who laughed from her heart

ü  Airhostess 2: The Taller one who was happy to serve drinks without ice , and smilingly accepted that they were low on ice

ü  The Captain: Who looked like a hero from a movie in 80s with his white hair and cowboy boots (by the way those boots had awesome embroidery)

The Victim:

ü  Two old folks who couldn’t board the plane

ü  One young man who kept on pleading

ü  Few of the team of 26 (Not all as some of them were just angry and not really sounded concerned)

The Villain:

ü  Gate Agent; who could be 1% human and that would have changed the whole thing

ü  The Old guy from 1^st class: Imagine your parents stuck in a country where they don’t understand the language and a gate agent denying them the flight with people who could help. Would you still ask to call the marshals for those who try to help them in that case? Just think

The bystanders:

ü  All passengers: No one may know you, like no one knows me as we didn’t play our parts, sadly.

PS: 2 Statements that I may have made in some previous posts all will repeat below

1)      A democracy is always weakened by the bystanders who are too afraid of stating their opinion.

2)      People who don’t take sides during moral debates are always on the wrong side; like a car set in neutral gear will always slip towards the slope and cause damage to self or someone else

PPS: I intentionally didn’t mention the Airline as this is not against the airline, or the race of anyone from above cast as it is not about that too. This is just about us about humans.

Thats how Fear Manifests

I just posted this a few days back in hindi and then some of my friends asked me to translate. Having verbally translated for a few, I decided I will post the translation here.

This is from the tresses of time, pre-adolescent days. The memory is a bit wrinkled with age.

One day after school, as usual a few of us went to the ground to play cricket, and suddenly a friend suggested, why not ditch cricket today and pick mangoes from the trees near the cricket ground. The suggestion was accepted with no resistance and most of us started climbing the mango trees in no time.

The mangoes, that were appearing within reach when seen from the ground, seem to have moved a few branches up while climbing the tree. Just then from a dark corner of mind a fear flashed, what if I fall? The fear manifested itself as quickly as it has flashed, with my buddy on the next branch losing his grip and taking me with him on the fall. After all what are friends for.

Not sure how many bones would have cracked on falling on the firm surface, when a branch generously granted asylum to our hands, so we were hanging on the tree, both me and my buddy.

Eyes shut hard with fear, as if opening them will force open our grips too. Fear was making my heart cry, but no tears were coming out of the eyes. Was just hanging there, too afraid to speak, even more afraid to open the eyes, as someone from below suggested, “let go, you will be fine”; “don’t listen to him,” my friend yelled, “he already has a broken leg, he wants us to have the same.”

Years passed since that incident, and I could not understand till date, why I never opened my eyes.

So, what seemed like an eternity, me and my friend were hanging from that branch. Eventually, fingers started getting stiff and palms started getting blistered. I still don’t know if I left the branch at that time or if the numbing fingers let the branch go without any permission from brain.

As soon as the hands were off the branch, there was a miracle, my feet stood firm on the ground. Not sure for a moment, if I was always just a few inches above the ground or if the ground got generous and moved above when my hands let go the branch. If I had opened the eyes before, The hands could have saved the blisters. But fear never allowed to open the eyes. Hands were hurting and I was cursing myself, while laughing at the stupidity of my fearful mind. Fear manifests in many forms. Stupidity is one of those forms, that I realized on that occasion.

My friend was still hanging on the branch, if his hands were not hurting as much yet, or his fear was stronger than mine, I will never know. I sat under the shade of tree looking at my hands and waiting for my friend to let go of the branch. I could have asked him to come down, but his fear would never have let him listen to me. As I had learnt fear manifests in many forms.

Epilogue

Many times, still fear makes us hang in situations, disallowing to open the eyes and not letting the hands give up the grip.  So, till the blisters and the hurt has reached its maximum, we keep on hanging. The surface feels too far, however close it maybe. When pain forces the hands to let go, fear channels even more morbid feelings. And then mind laughs at its being naïve against the fear’s tricks. After all fear manifests in many forms. 

डर के रूप

Friends, after many weeks, I am posting this. Life had been busy to say the least, too busy to look around. Just back with a short story about fear. This story had been an almost forgotten experience, that I would like to share, as best as I can. for now it is in Hindi so sincere apologies to those who can not read hindi. I will try to translate this eventually and share. Please comment if you like and please share if you ever felt the same way as my story below.

डर के रूप !

बचपन की बात है | थोड़ी धुंदली सी याद है | 

स्कूल के बाद दोस्तों के साथ खेलने गए तो एक ने कहा, क्रिकेट छोड़ो आज आम तोड़ते हैं | फिर क्या था,  ग्राउंड के पास ही पेड़ थे और हम सब भूल के पेड़ पे चढ़ना शुरू हुए | 

आम जो जमीन से देखे तो पास लगते थे, पेड़ पे चढ़ते चढ़ते दूर होने लगे | मन डरा कि कहीं गिर न जाएँ | और डर लगते लगते ही सच हो गया, साथ की डाल पर चढ़ते दोस्त का संतुलन बिगड़ा और गिरते हुए दोस्ती निभाई, हमें भी साथ ले लिया | 

पता नहीं और कितना नीचे गिरते और कितनी हड्डी तुडवते, के एक बड़ी सी टहनी हाथ आ गयी, और हम लटक गए | हम, यानि मैं और मेरा दोस्त | 

आँख बंद किये, पेड़ की टहनी पकड़े डरे रहे और झूलते रहे ,  कहीं हाथ छूटा तो न जाने क्या होगा | डर था की अंदर से रुला रहा था, पर न रो रहे थे न ही कुछ बोल रहे थे, बस लटके थे, आँखें बंद किये | तभी कोई बोला, "हाथ छोड़ दो कुछ नहीं होगा |" और साथ में लटके दोस्त ने चेताया, "इसकी मत सुनो , यह खुद टांग तुड़वाये बैठा है, हमें भी अपने जैसा बना देगा |"

इतने साल से एक ही बात नहीं समझ आयी, कि आँख क्यों न खोली |   

मानो घंटो  लटकने के बाद, हाथ जवाब दे गए, उँगलियाँ लकड़ी हो गयी और हथेलियाँ छालों से फूलने लगी | जब हाथ ही न माने तो टहनी छूटी या छोड़ी यह कैसे कहें | 

हाथ से टहनी छूटते ही चमत्कार हुआ,जमीन अपने आप पास गयी, या शायद पहले से ही ज्यादा दूर न रही होगी | आँख खोल के देखते तो शायद हाथ के छालों से बच जाते, पर डर ने आँख ही न खोलने दी पहले | डर के कई रूप होते हैं |

हाथ के छाले दर्द भी कर रहे थे और कोस भी रहे थे, और मैं हंस रहा | डर के खेल पे | डर का एक रूप नासमझी भी है, उस दिन पहली बार पता चला | 

मेरा दोस्त अब भी टहनी से लटक रहा था, उसके हाथ के छाले अभी कच्चे थे, या उसका डर ज्यादा बड़ा था, मुझे नहीं पता | मैं बस पेड़ के नीचे बैठा मुस्कुरा रहा था, अपने हाथों को ताकता, और दोस्त के नीचे उतरने का इंतज़ार करता| और करता भी क्या, उसका डर उसे कहाँ मेरी सुनने देता था | डर के कई रूप होते है | 

उपसंहार

आज भी कई बार डर किसी जगह पे लटका देता है, और हाथ छोड़ने की हिम्मत नहीं होती, कोई कुछ भी कहे | और यूँ ही हाथ रिसने तक झूलते रहते हैं, जमीन और भी दूर लगती है, चाहे असल में कितनी भी पास हो | दर्द जब भी हाथ छुड़वाता है तो कुछ टूटने का डर साँसे रोकता है, और फिर नासमझी पे हँसता भी है | डर के कई रूप होते है | 

The Crossroads - Walk on

I closed my eyes and could see a silhouette of a man, sitting solitary on a bench, immersed in deep thought. He is neither happy, nor sad, neither enlightened, nor confused. Neither is he highly accomplished and nor derived of accomplishments. He is neither tired, nor energetic to start a fresh. So many ways he is there, neither a failure, nor a success. Living a well-off life where all bills are paid, family is well clothed and well fed, guests are cared for and some charity is possible.

I look at him and he reminds me of someone I know, someone I know rather too well. Someone who I know is standing at the crossroads of many things at the same time. And these crossroads have not been a new occurrence to him. However the stakes are higher than usual, so the hesitation is greater than usual. He knows there are no wrong turns, except the turns that you take while lacking the faith+. He knows all needed to do was to continue on with the journey. He knows the journey is always as beautiful or as comfortable or as adventurous or as boring as he wants it to be. But still the feet are pulled down by the weight of a million apprehensions. Even lifting one foot is painful and not moving is unwise.

The man on the bench looks upwards as if asking for divine guidance. The Sun is setting and the breeze is cooling the warmth of summer. A song from more than a decade ago starts playing in his mind, “You're packing a suitcase for a place none of us has been. A place that has to be believed, to be seen……Walk on!!”*

He thinks he has his answer. He is unsure of the consequences. He doesn’t know if he will regret the consequences of his decision, but he is certain now that he will never regret an indecision. Crossroads have presented themselves and his only responsibility is to take the turn he wants, stopping is the only action to avoid here. So just walk on….

You could have flown away, a singing bird in an open cage who will only fly; Only fly for freedom….Walk on!!!* The song continues to play. And I know the man has his answer. Whether the answer is good or bad? That will be decided somewhere in a different time and on a different turn, a different crossroad. Till then Walk on.

The Man on the bench gets up and start walking, his profile fading away in setting Sun. And I know I have the answer that my friend is looking for, and I also know I will not have to tell him as he will know it too, himself.

+   http://nuancesofbeing.blogspot.com/2013/04/crossroads.html (Referring to a post from 2013)

‘* “Walk on” a famous and incredibly inspiring song by  "U2"

Note: All pictures clicked by Nikhil Dogra

ताक़ीद

Lately I have observed most people have strong opinions. And a compelling need to defend forcefully (even violently) the opinions they hold dear. So here are few lines as a note to self, I remind myself frequently using these lines. Sharing to see if you can use a similar instruction (Takeed) 

बुरे का भला कुछ ऐसे करो 

बुरा भी भलाई से रहने लगे 

बुरे का बुरा करते करते 

कहीं खुद ही बुरे मत बन जाना 

गलत  सही के चक्कर में 

कही सही - गलत न कर देना 

कुछ अपना ही न जल जाये 

ऐसी आग भला क्यों सुलगाना?

What OWNS You?

What devices own you?

Does this appear an incorrect question? Should I have asked, what devices do you own? Actually No, I asked what I meant, what devices own you. And I am talking of the likes of phones, computer, tablets etc.

Okay let me state what made me think this way, I was travelling recently and happened to have some time to witness activity at an airport. Things have changed in last decade and I have observed it many times, but I took keener notice this time. Hundreds of people, sitting, walking running in all directions. Biggest common thing was each one was on some device, chatting, emailing, talking, searching etc.

There was this excellent picture on an advertisement, the caption said; “we ensure you stay connected” and it showed a grown up man and a pre-teens child (likely father and son) sitting at an airport facing each other, but their eyes sunk in the screens of their handhelds. I couldn’t see how that displayed being connected? I have rarely seen a father and son more disconnected than that.

We talk, but with people on the other side of line. We share jokes, but instead of telling them, we just push the phone screens around for others to read (or forward). We walk but instead of looking at signs and asking for directions the maps on handhelds are guiding us.

No don’t take me wrong, I am not against technology or development. I am all in favor of that and I am proudly associated with the telecom industry (my primary profession)for last 2 decades. But the scene that I am trying to retell, never appears like development to me. It seems more like the control from the “It” (From the book “A wrinkle in time,” and not a reference to the Information Technology).

Technology, is being continuously enhanced to make our lives easier. However I think instead of using technology we are getting consumed by it. The dependency on the devices is increasing every day. Device addiction is reaching epidemic levels (sadly not under purview of CDC). The generation that is starting their journey of being a human, kids below age of 12 are not seeing any other way to live but to refer to a device. The written word has become type written word or speech to text entries (soon to be thought to text).

I do not preach against use of technology, I'd rather promote it. Use it and use it well, but don’t get too used by it. I don’t know how to correctly pen my feelings but I will end this with a list of items that I would like me and my family to adopt. Hope that doesn’t alienate us from rest of the Human race around us.

A)  No devices to kids as a bribe to let grownups unwind

B)   No compulsive checking of Whatsapp/ facebook etc

C)   Follow Mainstream Media rather than Social media (that too limited) for current events

D)  Conversations instead of screen sharing

E)   Playing games (indoor and outdoor) instead of video games

F)   Limit screen time (for grownups too)

G)  Be the role model on exercising restraint

H)  Connect face to face, not only device to device

The list can be long. If you agree with my thoughts please share your list. Let us use the technology rather than being used by It.

Quicksand of Thought

Here is something that I originally wrote many years ago, actually a decade and half to be precise. Life has changed a lot for me from then to now, but some lessons endure the life and time changes. Sharing it with you with a hope that it will re-introduce you with something that you have known all along and heard many time.

Quick Sand of Thought

When you are in quick sand, the more you try to come out the more you are trapped in it. It swallows you faster if you are fighting to come out. A bad mood is just the same. The more you force yourself to appear normal the weirder gets. Mind rules the bad mood and makes it worse every moment. It can be felt very easily. Accept the moment and detach from the mind, and see. Most of the times the bad feeling will not go. But it will be managed better. The quick sand will be there but it wont swallow you faster and then when you are still in the quick sand, you might see the end of the rope which is tied to the near by tree and someone left it there just for people like you. Or when you are still you might recollect an old technique to come out of quick sand, which you learned in a martial art book in past life. Or even a miracle may happen and the giant bird will come from nowhere to swoop you out and drop you near the oasis. I know most of this appears like a fairy tale, but first of all miracles do happen, and secondly when you are in the quick sand of thought, the chance of this miracle is 100%. Because you are the master of that universe. The sand is created by your mind, the trap is created by your mind and it is your own mind telling you that you are being pulled down and will eventually be crushed and perish in it.  Most of us are able to detach ourselves from the mind at this juncture, but those few who fail at this point, are those who may end up doing something stupid.

Situations can be tough at times. And the perception can make them even tougher. Life situations are the stimuli that the mind reacts to that. Most of us have noticed that during the times of ambiguity, we start thinking bad thoughts. One spouse is not back home in time and not picking phone mostly the other fears an accident. The simple reasons like excess work, traffic jam, flat tire, drained phone battery etc won’t ever be on the top of the mind. Mind can not have those things in its list as mind has to play the game and a simple reason will not give mind any room to play. Sadly however strong one appears from outside, the mind still can be a pessimist in parts. The only way around is detach from mind.

I, and my mind are not the same. My thoughts does not mean the same as I. My thoughts are just a part of me, so are my dreams, my ideas, my relations with people and my behavior. I identify myself with anyone of these and I am in for trouble. Refrain to state “___ because that is how I am” more you say this, easier it becomes to believe this lie. Don't mean to suggest lacking consistency. Just to avoid stereo typing one self. Identifying oneself with any of the above causes confusion. It is just like having two hands with five fingers in each, but tying all with a string except thumb and index finger of dominant. Now how hurting that can be? And how foolish too?

Idea is to have instantaneous joy or sorrow but not build an account to carry it forward. When you detach from the mind, you will accept and enjoy the praise when you get it. You will accept and feel bad to be neglected or denounced. But only when that happens. Those moments are lived and when the moment is over it is over. The present moment is what we live always, neither past not future and that is all one needs to learn. On a self-analysis one may find that most troubles are manifested by mind wandering in past or future.

The quicksand will not bother you much during 'NOW'. Because ‘now’ is the oasis, there is no quicksand in here. The quicksand is just when you are jumping between past and future. The right way is from past to future is through the present. The present that lives, the present that is the only paved road. Past is a good teacher and future is a good motivator, but both should work towards a better NOW. That is the only right way.

One don’t have to wait to say no to mind only when it pushes to limits. ‘No’ can be said a lot before that. Just accept the feeling and stay present. If you want to learn from past, just think about a few very good things and a few very bad things that happened to you. Then tell yourself that all those things good or bad are over and now is here. The journey between ups and downs, triumphs and failures, joy and sorrow, that’s what life is. The reality is that nothings stays past its time. Every event comes and goes. When things are bad, stop thinking and sinking; just tell yourself, “It will pass, just like other things did” You don’t have to go crazy in quicksand. The quicksand of thought just needs one miracle that only you can perform. Just stay calm and tell yourself, “It will pass, no matter what.” Rest assured, that is how it will be; that is how it has been since the time. It always pass, no matter what. Just be calm and perform the miracle, “Hocus Pocus bad thoughts go away, No time for you, I have a busy day” this is what you may chant. I tried it and it feels so silly, silly enough to compel you think of a better line. That thought to a better line can be the miracle needed to be out of the quicksand. No harm trying.

My 6 year old always asks during any journey (long or short) “Papa, Are we there?” and I always reply, “No! We are never there, we are always here.” And the whole family laughs. I hope one day both my kids will know what I meant by that and use it during their personal journeys to avoid stepping into any quicksand.

कोई रहनुमा न था

Sharing my new poem, wrote it multiple weeks ago, and thought of posting. One of those rare times when I try to add some urdu words to my hindi flow. Knowing more than one language and not being a master on any is a blessing in it self . Will  be back soon with a more regular post


कोई रहनुमा न था 

चल तो रहे थे पर वहां रास्ता न था 

पूछने को भी तो कोई रहनुमा न था 

मंज़िल कहीं पे होगी  एक उम्मीद थी मगर 

किस ओर चले सोचने का हौसला न था 

पाँव के निशां से आबाद तो था सहरा 

मीलों तक मगर वहां कोई कारवां न था 

टूटी हुई कश्ती को भी हम कोसते मगर 

तूफ़ान में उसके सिवा कोई आशना न था 

शाम जाम कहकहे दोस्तों की महफ़िल 

बहाने थे बहलाने को, जशन का असल कोई फलसफा न था 

चल तो रहे थे पर वहां रास्ता न था 

पूछने को भी तो कोई रहनुमा न था 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Some meanings 

रहनुमा    Guide

आशना    Friend

फलसफा  Philosophy/ reason

सहरा       Desert

Note: Pictures clicked using Kodak MFT in feb 2017

3rd Serving from Back of my Notebook

I scribble things at the back of my notebook to keep me anchored during the storms encountered daily. Shared some of those in earlier few posts years ago …. Lines below, the 3rd set may speak to you for themselves as they spoke to me

~Life is usually passing outside your window in all its grace and beauty when you are looking at the ceiling to complain of its unfairness

~Work is extremely important and so is life, may be the later one a tad bit more

~Faith gives hope and losing hope shakes faith, such a close relation!

~Feeling helpless for long enough can make one hopeless; addressing the helplessness before losing hope is important

~Wish we judged people based on color of blood rather than color of skin

~Your behavior is the mold that your children’s life is shaped in

~Silence though a great virtue mostly, can sometimes becomes a crime, and that is when one MUST speak

~World is not as is, World is as One see with One's own eyes

~Cloudy skies are as beautiful as starry skies; it is not the sky; but how one sees make it beautiful or gloomy (same rule applies for many situations in life)

~Life is a batman movie with troubles playing 'the Joker', how much fun will it be to watch it if there was only batman and no villains in the movie?

~Good literature is what can propel you to a new reality

~Beware! Regularly fulfilled ‘Wants’ always learn to act and feel like ‘Needs’

~A true story teller never runs out of stories as long as a listener is there; A master story teller is that who always listens to own stories with awe

~Life offers you a blank page to write a story every day, it is up to you how original a story teller you are

~Originality can be confused as insanity, till enough people have comprehended one’s story

~Genius is the lunatic whose ideas got wider acceptance (Until I have sufficient acceptances the lunacy will continue J) 


Older from back of my Notebook....

http://nuancesofbeing.blogspot.com/2013/03/back-of-my-notebook.html

http://nuancesofbeing.blogspot.com/2014/10/morefrom-back-of-my-notebook.html