I don't see the
aggression in this team. Aggression is what we need to win. He went on with
that speech. But the 2 first sentences had turned me off. I didn't even hear
what he was saying. Next day I asked my parents to not enroll me for next season.
And that was end of my game as a cricketer.
I was not bad at the game and could have played
to help my team win, improved my skill and delivered what it takes to win. But
I stopped as coach has asked for aggression and aggression was not my thing. I
was committed but not aggressive. I feel I still miss the game. Who knows the
game and my team might have missed me too. I was a good off spinner, there was
no other in the team. I was below average with bat but was committed to
improve. Improvement was slow and I didn't know why. But my coach explained
"you need aggression to win"
I was startled with that revelation, I didn’t
have what it takes to win. I can be angry at times (even very angry). I am
committed mostly to the cause I pick. I work hard but I cannot be aggressive.
Those words were etched in mind. You need
aggression to win. Lack of aggression was considered same as lack
of commitment.
I could have been miserable for ever till I came
across my dictionary, much later in life while I was preparing a presentation at work. Still the rhetoric of aggression needed for victory was
very much in-vogue. I stumbled over the word ZEAL. And I knew I had my answer. My Nirvana. Be
committed, be Zealous. Zeal and not aggression was needed to win.
Aggression makes
mobs and Zeal makes teams (I told myself)
So my coach had a
semantic problem. I was happy that all was not lost. I had in me what it takes
to win. I had the zeal needed for the right cause, I would never have enough aggression
but zeal would work for me as well.
But then I look
around me, friends, family, coworkers, even little kids; everyone had learnt it
from a similar coach. You need aggression to win. No aggression means no
commitment which means no victory. I am not sure if I should just ignore my new
found knowledge or just ignore it and live rest of my days trying (and failing)
to achieve aggression and not focus on being zealous, which come more
naturally?
While in the
middle of my dilemma, I had this phone call with a nice kind lady many hours
east of me. It was very early for me in the day and a little past mid-day for
her. After the pleasantries were exchanged; and the cause at hand discussed; I
had to either persuade her to my point of view or to get convinced by hers (or
may be develop a 3rd point of view collaborating between the two).
Perfect team work scenario; but then the need to be Aggressive to Win took over
her completely. She must have had a mentor like my coach. I felt attacked by a
voice becoming shriller and tone switching between sarcastic and angry. I let
my mind shut-off, as counter aggression by aggression is an option that I
rarely used and never felt proud of using it (even when I have won). I excused
myself with the pretext of gathering more data for her to consider. But instead
built a case (documented with facts and different viewpoints). Eventually
discovering that we both were right in parts, but wholly supporting one’s view
point would have meant disaster. I prepared a solution and presented to the
client. The cause won. I won with it, and so did she. The aggression however
lost and the zeal to solve did win.
Lesson learnt-We
both could have won if we had focused on solving the problem instead of
winning. Aggression makes you always secure a win for yourself, strike a goal;
but zeal will make you solve the problem at hand. Zeal states that you don’t
win till you have solved the issue at hand.
Ask yourself (I
asked myself and discovered some despicable moments) How many times you’ve been
aggressive in the conversations, the discussions, the plans where zeal could
have done trick in much better way without having to have any tensed muscles.
Next Steps change
the vocabulary and more
ü Aggression to be replaced with Zeal
ü Aggressive should go and Zealous should be in
ü Compete is outdated Collaborate is the way to go
ü Don’t try to win or lose, work for the cause to win and you
win automatically
ü Aggression can be infectious stand your Zeal and the cause
instead of getting infected
ü Listen to gather important points from other side rather than
responding even when the discussion becomes an argument
ü Do it with Zeal
Live, play, work,
socialize, party what ever you do; do it with Zeal, you will be one step closer to the ultimate.
