Ah finally!! Christmas
celebrations are over. I heard him sigh as he sunk in the couch. Not sure if he
had said what I thought he had, I continued looking at his face with a
surprised smile pasted on my face, which must have made me look very awkward or
even stupid. Whaattt? He continued with slight annoyance. Don’t you feel tired
during holidays? So many things to do, so many items to finish, so many people
to please and one mistake will ruin things till the next holiday season, and
then add more stress at the next holiday season.
I started thinking
what he had just said, and he was right. We may try to mask it under the
celebrations and festivities, but in reality the festivals have become very
stressful lately. Wait; why blame holidays? They didn’t become anything
different from what they always have been; we have made them very stressful.
Showoff over celebration is the primary culprit. “Social pressure” as many of
us try to pin the blame on Society; to plead our own innocence. However that is
even worse; how can you change the situation if you have no control over it?
An honest
introspection will reveal the problem and may also show a hint of the solution.
Before I go into that
let me tell you what happened this Christmas for me. I knew there were days off
coming, but due to work and other reasons; I had not planned anything. No gifts,
no party, no outing with the family on the 3 days after Christmas that were
supposed to be extended holiday. So the stress was built no doubt. I was seeing
a very Uncaring father and an equally Ungrateful husband in the mirror.
On December 23rd
after office I just took a detour to the store while coming home. When I
stepped inside the store I didn’t know what to do. I thought what my kids
would like to have as a gift, nothing came to mind. Then I started thinking of
what they have been doing lately. The older one was reading a popular book
series and loving it, and the younger one was always goofing around with his
newly discovered alphabet knowledge (he is a preschooler). I think I knew what
may work. After a few minutes in the store, I had the DVDs for movies based on
the book series that my older son was reading. Of course I didn’t get the Bluray
or the extended versions et al that I usually want in my movie collection these
days. But something is better than nothing was the mantra. And after that there
was this set of books for preschoolers with Disney characters.
I was not thrilled
but at least felt a little better when I looked in mirror the next time. Then I
picked some cosmetics stuff for my wife, no knowledge of cosmetics, but the
thought should count; isn’t it?
Let us make sure that
they are happy, I told my wife later that night, pointing towards the kids, that
is what holidays are all about. And she agreed. It is a blessing to have an understanding
spouse. So we both agreed on just a couple of decorative light strings that too
inside the house. It looked pretty, in a very subtle way. So I was feeling that
most of the battle is won and I was feeling not as stressed. But the party was
still missing from the list and it was too late to arrange for any.
As they say, when you
do good things; good things happen. A day before Christmas my wife received a
call from one of our friends, around 4PM, suggesting a surprise party to
celebrate a common friend’s birthday. But I was tired and my neck was stiffened
during the decorative light arrangement so I couldn’t drive. That is fine we
can have the party at your house, they suggested and we agreed. So Christmas Eve
was fun, good dinner (not lavish in any way but good), excellent company of
friends and lots of fun games that kids played in the basement. So everyone
retired to bed way past mid-night after the guests were gone.
Morning of Christmas
started bit late but excited. Kids were excited as they wanted to see what
gifts Santa had left them and I was excited to see how they will react to the
gifts. Their happiness turned my anxiety into joy as well. I learnt that my son
didn’t care at all about the movie format and extended versions. The little one
was happy counting his books in the set and talking about the characters on the
cover pages. My wife didn’t even have to look at her gifts as the joy on kids’
faces was gift enough for her. So I sat with my book looking at all this
smiling and ready to face the mirror more confidently that day.
Also I learnt this (and am sharing with you below);
· Holidays are to celebrate not to sweat.
·
Celebration and joy are measured in quality and
quantity of laughs and not in the size of decorations, monitory value of gifts
or even the expanse of the dinner menu.
·
Best way to enjoy a party is having an impromptu
party.
·
“Giving gifts” is good, “exchanging gifts”
makes it more business-like and holiday season is to avoid such business.
·
Social pressure is a perceived notion; it is totally
based on one’s perception, and has no more reality to it than one’s own
perception.
·
Less elaborate party means less cleaning
requirement (and hence mean more quality time) the next day.
·
Food ordered from restaurant on such a party may
taste equally good as food prepared in home.
Next year the same
festivals will come, there will be Diwali and the Thanksgiving and Christmas
and many more based on the faith one follows or region one lives in; but
celebration for any of these is more or less the same and the stress that is
built is more of less the same, so the remedy can be more of less the same. (Another
reason why we All are more or less the Same, in spite of the regions we live in
or the faiths we follow.) Some issues and their solutions are universal and
that is what binds us…but that is another topic altogether…for another day maybe…for
now Happy Holidays and Happy Pre Holidays and Happy Post-Holidays.......
Note: Happiness and Stress never stay together
