अगर ........ (If only.....)

At times I am stuck in small stuff so much that I become oblivious of the big picture. And then some times I miss the target and think that it was the small stuff adherence causing it? Tried to sum that feeling below!!!!

मैं तो काबिल था की गुम्बद का सितारा बनता 

पर अगर नीव के मेख़ में ना उलझा होता

तूने जो चाँद दिखाने की कोशिश की 

देखता  चाँद का हुस्न भी अगर

तेरी ऊँगली के ख़म को ना टोका होता

जिंदगी आ के दर पे दस्तक देती थी

किवाड़ खोल के उसको गले लगाता  जो

नंगे पाव को गीले फर्श ने ना रोका होता 

Adieu Teacher

A fresh Engineering Graduate with a good academic history, and inflated with hope given by professors, friends and family was scared. He knew that life was not as easy as painted by many. And he knew that he was not all that good as his academic records say or as his parents think. Soon his fears started becoming reality. He was not getting his dream job. He stopped dreaming. He was seeing failure on the horizon and he stopped hoping. He wanted someone to guide him. But there was no one as friends would always say one thing, “Don’t worry man! You will live and remember you are not the only one.” And parents always said, “No need to worry, you are the best so you will get the best out of life.”

He was getting jeers, sympathy, preaching and all other things that he didn’t want. The only thing that he needed was advice on what to do; how to manage his self. How could he prove to everyone that his recent bad behavior was due to his bad situation? That was when his father gifted him a book; a book that his father has not read himself.

He opened the pages and started reading, the more he read the better it got. And then he came to a page that read, “Our behavior is a function of our decisions and not our conditions.” And the page that said ‘Responsibility’ is the ability to choose response. And he was sold to the idea. He changed, as the book has shown him that he had the power in him to be responsible, to choose his response.

He didn’t become a totally different person, but he started taking ownership of his behavior and his surroundings and things eventually improved.

Now 16 years later he is doing way better in his life both professionally and personally, than what he thought he could. The lines from that book and many others that he had read after that are stored in the folds of his brain to resurface when needed.

He owes a lot to that book. And the news that the author of the book died in an accident, sadden him. He wanted to meet the author and say thanks in person. But then he realized that with millions of copies sold of just that one book (and many more books and articles and lectures) how many lives the author must have touched and improved. The best way to thank a coach is to play a great game out there, and so I will.

Adieu teacher, Dr. Stephen Covey. You will be missed. Many thanks for the gifts that you have left in the form of books and articles that will benefit people for generations. I am sure now, like always there are many men and women out there unsure about what they should do and your words will stand beacon to them like they have been for me for last 16 years.

PS: The book was “7 Habits of Highly effective people” and after that it was “Principle Centered Leadership” and “First Things First” that help me shape things in my life

Prioritize priorities!!!

“What if you find out that your priorities are all set wrong?” his words hit me like a thunderbolt. I don’t even know his name. He must be at least 80 years old. We are members of same gym and I have seen him many a times on the floor. And even exchanged greeting nods a few times; but we never spoke. Yesterday when I was standing near the barbell and thinking of picking it up he came from the other side and he wanted the small step stool from behind my barbell bench. I helped him in getting that and that’s where the conversation started.

“Do you come to gym daily?” He asked

“No, but I have been trying to be regular on the weekends at least.” I replied

“Do you have kids?” he asked

“Yes 2 boys, older close to 6 and younger just turned 2”

“Is your wife regular in gym?”

“No she is typically once a month schedule, at an average.” I smiled

“Tell her it is important. You know I met this cyclist a few days back, who was in excellent shape. And I asked him if he workout regularly. He said he does cycle for at least 1 hour daily and then goes to gym at least 4 days a week. When I suggested that I am struggling on how to work around the other priorities like family, work, and social obligation etc to make time for this? And he replied ‘what if you find out that your priorities are all set wrong?’ And that made me think.” He just re-lived the whole conversation without waiting for me to react. And he continued.

He continued talking, but my ears were shut to hear any word after that, my mind was replaying the line again and again; “What if you find out that your priorities are all set wrong?” It flashed to me that my priorities were certainly not aligned right. And then another line flashed in my mind, “secure your oxygen mask first before you help anyone needing assistance…” Common wisdom retold as soon as you board any flight.

In order to fulfill anything at work, home, with kids, wife, parents, and society even my own dreams, I must be there 100%. Bad health, chronic (or acute) ailments and all the related things that bad health brings, make sure that I am anything but 100%.  So, good health should be kept even before priority number one. And then another statement dug itself out from the million folds of memory. A line that my parents used to say when I was a kid and they even say it now, “पहला सुख निरोगी काया read as Pehla sukh nirogi kaya” (Bliss starts with a healthy body). Well I have been hearing things like this for many years but could never relate to them. May be I never wanted to. But now all this not only make sense, but also seems the most important thing to do. And now it flashed, that healthy body is the beginning of bliss as body is the door to all experience. And one can be doing good for family or kids or office only if one is healthy, fit and 100%. One with oxygen mask secured 1^st will ensure that he or she doesn’t pass out due to lack of oxygen before even completing assistance to others.

Setting my priorities right is the top priority for me this week. And my friend from gym, I don’t know his name and I don’t know why he spoke to me in the first place. But I know for sure that he had valuable information to share with me that day and a valuable lesson to teach. (When the student is ready The Teacher appears) I will ask him for his name when next time we meet on the floor; so that when I am his age and sharing this lesson with someone at my current age; I will be able to ascertain that his legacy continues.

But for whoever reading this, my family, my friends you all know that for the most part your priorities need some shaping up too. I hope I won’t forget what I have learnt and stick to this regimen. And I hope many years later we do talk about this day and feel good about this decision. Stay Healthy!!

सपना और उधेष्य

सपने वैकल्पिक हो सकते है

उधेष्य अनिवार्य हुआ करता है

सपना उधेष्य जब बन जाये तो 

उसका विकल्प नहीं होता |

हो चाहे जैसी भी राह

विश्वास वही जो थमना न जाने 

अनदेखे कल से डर, हो जड़ जो

वो संकल्प नहीं होता ||