जीवन सरिता (Jeevan Sarita)

जीवन सरिता 
जिन्दगी अथक नदी के जैसे 

जाने कितनी सदियों से 

बिना रुके, बिना थके बस

चलती जा रही है!

हिमनद से सागर का रास्ता 

तो दिखता छोटा ही है

पर सागर से फिर हिमनद पर,

बदल की झोली में छुप कर

शीत श्वेत कपास की कोंपल

या फिर बर्फीला झंझावत बन 

एक कभी न रुकते हुए चक्र में

जिन्दगी अथक नदी के जैसे 

जाने कितनी सदियों से 

बिना रुके, बिना थके बस

चलती जा रही है. 

हम हर मौसम में आते हैं 

नया चहरा नया एक नाम लिए

जीवन को 'अपना' कहते हैं ता जो 

यह रहे हमारी पहचान लिए 

(किसी एक नाम का नहीं है जीवन

हम भूल के सच को जीते हैं कि)

युगों से गतिमय जीवन सरिता

की है बस पहचान गति, और 

जिन्दगी अथक नदी के जैसे 

जाने कितनी सदियों से 

बिना रुके, बिना थके बस

चलती जा रही है!

Old friends

This is something that I started writing in 2002 after a trip to Daytona Beach, FL. I could not close this when I initially wrote and at that time I didn't know why.... Now I know what was holding me from finishing this piece.

2002

I walked a few steps and the waves touched my feet, welcoming me on the beach. I smiled, looked towards the sea and said, “Thank you!” And the Sea not only smiled back but also roared. I was happy to be on the beach and I had a feeling that the beach is happy because I am there. I have a strange relation with sea. Ever since I was a kid, Sea fascinates me and invites me. And when ever I am near it, it talks, in its own special language and it understands what all I have to tell.

From the little fisherman’s village near Mumbai, India to the roaring beaches of southern California, it speaks the same language. It connects miles. That day I was at Daytona Beach, Florida. A small book tugged in my pocket that I wanted to read sitting near the sea. I was miles away from my apartment in Orlando. I was all alone, just me and the Sea. There were hundreds of people all around us, but two of us were so engrossed into each other that we didn’t notice. I think sea was giving same ‘feel of importance’ to every one present. I smiled again and winked, and I am almost sure that the sea winked back, and again roared with laughter. There was this bond that usually good friends have and the warmth was so obvious……………

2012

Many years since the above was written (it has been almost 10 years), and the ocean of responsibilities had seemingly submerged the old friendships. A bond once so strong (between Sea and me) was almost forgotten. Not remembering any of that, I drove to Virginia Beach last week, with my wife and our two sons, driving to the hotel parking late at night. A late night walk at the board walk and I think I heard someone call my name but I couldn't tell who. Next morning was magical, as I felt almost no tiredness of the long drive and in spite of having slept very late I woke up early and saw the sun rising from behind the waves while sitting in the balcony. And that moment I knew I had to run on sand again. A few minutes later I was on the sea side with my family. Very different from 10 years back in Daytona, no book tugged under the arm. Just a few folded chairs and a box with water and some food on my shoulders and instead of being alone I had my wife walking by my side and a somewhat nervous little boy in her lap and an over enthusiastic big brother giggling while running towards the sea. I looked at the waves and saw something, more like a faint smile. I looked again as if trying to recognize an old friend after meeting him or her unexpectedly in a mall. And yes there it was; the bond that was established many years back existed as strong as ever. I dropped everything on the sand grabbed my older son’s arm and ran to the waves. I am sure what I heard was the familiar laughter from my old friend, the Sea. Right then a big wave rose to me and my son and embraced us. I showed my son to my old friend and then they played  with each other for hours. Actually all three of us played together for hours.

Having spent a couple of days listening to the roars of laughter from my old friend and spending time playing and chatting; it was time to part and I said, “You have not changed even a bit.” “Neither did you," he replied  "just now you started playing more than reading your books, and ......” He paused  and teasingly smiled while looking at my overweight frame and a thinned hair line. “We will meet soon.” I said realizing how much I have missed this. “I will wait, for you, right here, like always.” He said and winked. I winked back. And then he laughed ; his usual big roar of a laugh!!!

Happiness and Law of Inertia

Happiness seems to be one thing where Newton’s 1^st law fails. I know the laws are meant to be applied to the physical entities. However I have this habit of drawing come emotional and some logical (non-physics) conclusions based on the Sir Isaac Newton’s master piece (the laws that has made understanding nature of things so easy).

Newton’s First law: Every object continues in its state of rest, or of uniform motion in a straight line, unless compelled to change that state by external forces acted upon it.

Applied to a state of mind, (assume a state of mind being a physical entity, and I am not saying it, I am just following what my interpretation is of something that was said in the Gospel  "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."), It would mean that if you are happy you should continue being happy unless and external force (something against happiness) is applied on your mental state. But that rarely happens.

Happened to me once after watching an episode of “Whose line is it anyway” many years ago, I could not stop laughing for almost an hour (considered to be very long time for something like continuous laugh) and my wife (of just a few months at that time) thought that either I am crazy or (demon) possessed. I am sure that she even tried to look for some doctor (maybe even a Witch Doctor) contact in the directory to stop my seemingly uncontrollable laughter.

I just ended talking with one of my direct reports. He was unhappy with the fact that he did not receive a great pay raise recently. I tried to convince him that as per the company conditions and his level/status he is very well compensated (actually he is the highest paid employee in his level of experience and expertise). But in the end he was still not happy. I remember he was very happy about his compensation just a few months back and now that he has received a raise (though small but still a raise) still he was unhappy. So the state of happiness even though got a push but changed direction and turned to unhappiness.

That is to some extent what Maslow’s Need Hierarchy theory is about, I guess. So Maslow’s theory in my opinion is the psychological opposite of the 1^st law of motion.

Developing a little bit on that, so being happy needs a push and continue to be happy is not our natural state of mind. We by default might be unhappy creatures and continues in its state of unhappiness, or of lethargy, unless compelled to change that state by external forces (happy things) acted upon it. Sadly the friction is inborn to the continuous state of being happy.

That is why it Buddha said enlightenment is bliss. So Bliss is when you reverse your mind polarity and make happiness as the natural (continuous) state of things with unhappiness being an exception at times forced by external factors.

Example: Me and my wife once were having a fun evening lots of laughing and all of a sudden one of us said something, the other one got upset, sad, unhappy. That made the person who had said that unhappy and that person insisted, can you please be happy again? The answer, “Mood  is not like a light bulb that can be lightened just by the flip of a switch.” Now if it can be closed by the flip of a switch like a light bulb why can’t it be lighted in the same way? Big Question; isn’t it? Simple answer; reverse polarity so the mood can be switched on like a light bulb and cannot be switched off like one.

Confused? So am I, if reversing polarity was that easy then it would be a blissful life.

My quest to enlightenment is hidden in finding that switch, reversing polarity and let Sir Isaac Newton’s law take care of the rest.

अगर ........ (If only.....)

At times I am stuck in small stuff so much that I become oblivious of the big picture. And then some times I miss the target and think that it was the small stuff adherence causing it? Tried to sum that feeling below!!!!

मैं तो काबिल था की गुम्बद का सितारा बनता 

पर अगर नीव के मेख़ में ना उलझा होता

तूने जो चाँद दिखाने की कोशिश की 

देखता  चाँद का हुस्न भी अगर

तेरी ऊँगली के ख़म को ना टोका होता

जिंदगी आ के दर पे दस्तक देती थी

किवाड़ खोल के उसको गले लगाता  जो

नंगे पाव को गीले फर्श ने ना रोका होता 

Adieu Teacher

A fresh Engineering Graduate with a good academic history, and inflated with hope given by professors, friends and family was scared. He knew that life was not as easy as painted by many. And he knew that he was not all that good as his academic records say or as his parents think. Soon his fears started becoming reality. He was not getting his dream job. He stopped dreaming. He was seeing failure on the horizon and he stopped hoping. He wanted someone to guide him. But there was no one as friends would always say one thing, “Don’t worry man! You will live and remember you are not the only one.” And parents always said, “No need to worry, you are the best so you will get the best out of life.”

He was getting jeers, sympathy, preaching and all other things that he didn’t want. The only thing that he needed was advice on what to do; how to manage his self. How could he prove to everyone that his recent bad behavior was due to his bad situation? That was when his father gifted him a book; a book that his father has not read himself.

He opened the pages and started reading, the more he read the better it got. And then he came to a page that read, “Our behavior is a function of our decisions and not our conditions.” And the page that said ‘Responsibility’ is the ability to choose response. And he was sold to the idea. He changed, as the book has shown him that he had the power in him to be responsible, to choose his response.

He didn’t become a totally different person, but he started taking ownership of his behavior and his surroundings and things eventually improved.

Now 16 years later he is doing way better in his life both professionally and personally, than what he thought he could. The lines from that book and many others that he had read after that are stored in the folds of his brain to resurface when needed.

He owes a lot to that book. And the news that the author of the book died in an accident, sadden him. He wanted to meet the author and say thanks in person. But then he realized that with millions of copies sold of just that one book (and many more books and articles and lectures) how many lives the author must have touched and improved. The best way to thank a coach is to play a great game out there, and so I will.

Adieu teacher, Dr. Stephen Covey. You will be missed. Many thanks for the gifts that you have left in the form of books and articles that will benefit people for generations. I am sure now, like always there are many men and women out there unsure about what they should do and your words will stand beacon to them like they have been for me for last 16 years.

PS: The book was “7 Habits of Highly effective people” and after that it was “Principle Centered Leadership” and “First Things First” that help me shape things in my life

Prioritize priorities!!!

“What if you find out that your priorities are all set wrong?” his words hit me like a thunderbolt. I don’t even know his name. He must be at least 80 years old. We are members of same gym and I have seen him many a times on the floor. And even exchanged greeting nods a few times; but we never spoke. Yesterday when I was standing near the barbell and thinking of picking it up he came from the other side and he wanted the small step stool from behind my barbell bench. I helped him in getting that and that’s where the conversation started.

“Do you come to gym daily?” He asked

“No, but I have been trying to be regular on the weekends at least.” I replied

“Do you have kids?” he asked

“Yes 2 boys, older close to 6 and younger just turned 2”

“Is your wife regular in gym?”

“No she is typically once a month schedule, at an average.” I smiled

“Tell her it is important. You know I met this cyclist a few days back, who was in excellent shape. And I asked him if he workout regularly. He said he does cycle for at least 1 hour daily and then goes to gym at least 4 days a week. When I suggested that I am struggling on how to work around the other priorities like family, work, and social obligation etc to make time for this? And he replied ‘what if you find out that your priorities are all set wrong?’ And that made me think.” He just re-lived the whole conversation without waiting for me to react. And he continued.

He continued talking, but my ears were shut to hear any word after that, my mind was replaying the line again and again; “What if you find out that your priorities are all set wrong?” It flashed to me that my priorities were certainly not aligned right. And then another line flashed in my mind, “secure your oxygen mask first before you help anyone needing assistance…” Common wisdom retold as soon as you board any flight.

In order to fulfill anything at work, home, with kids, wife, parents, and society even my own dreams, I must be there 100%. Bad health, chronic (or acute) ailments and all the related things that bad health brings, make sure that I am anything but 100%.  So, good health should be kept even before priority number one. And then another statement dug itself out from the million folds of memory. A line that my parents used to say when I was a kid and they even say it now, “पहला सुख निरोगी काया read as Pehla sukh nirogi kaya” (Bliss starts with a healthy body). Well I have been hearing things like this for many years but could never relate to them. May be I never wanted to. But now all this not only make sense, but also seems the most important thing to do. And now it flashed, that healthy body is the beginning of bliss as body is the door to all experience. And one can be doing good for family or kids or office only if one is healthy, fit and 100%. One with oxygen mask secured 1^st will ensure that he or she doesn’t pass out due to lack of oxygen before even completing assistance to others.

Setting my priorities right is the top priority for me this week. And my friend from gym, I don’t know his name and I don’t know why he spoke to me in the first place. But I know for sure that he had valuable information to share with me that day and a valuable lesson to teach. (When the student is ready The Teacher appears) I will ask him for his name when next time we meet on the floor; so that when I am his age and sharing this lesson with someone at my current age; I will be able to ascertain that his legacy continues.

But for whoever reading this, my family, my friends you all know that for the most part your priorities need some shaping up too. I hope I won’t forget what I have learnt and stick to this regimen. And I hope many years later we do talk about this day and feel good about this decision. Stay Healthy!!

सपना और उधेष्य

सपने वैकल्पिक हो सकते है

उधेष्य अनिवार्य हुआ करता है

सपना उधेष्य जब बन जाये तो 

उसका विकल्प नहीं होता |

हो चाहे जैसी भी राह

विश्वास वही जो थमना न जाने 

अनदेखे कल से डर, हो जड़ जो

वो संकल्प नहीं होता ||