कुछ चीज़ें बेशकीमती होती हैं

An Ode to the things that are so priceless and almost timeless, things that one can ignore occasionally but can not lose from the mind..... Sharing a few such items in next few days starting with the one today.
Apologies for the fiends who font read Hindi and I tried to translate but could translate the words and not the emotions so I gave up (for now...will try again) .......

सोचता हूँ यह पड़ के शायद कुछ मन के कोने से बातें आपको भी याद आये और आप अपनी बेशकीमती चीज़ें मेरे साथ भी बाँटें। ……

कुछ चीज़ें बेशकीमती होती हैं 

जैसे खिड़की के पक्के कांच पर गिरती हुई बारिश की कच्ची बूँदें 

गिर के टूटती हुई उन बूंदों को देखना 

हाथ में थामे हुए गर्म चाय का गर्म प्याला 

चाय की गुनगुनी चुस्कियों की आवाज़ का स्वाद 

कुछ ज़बान पे छूटता और कुछ कानों में घुलता हुआ

उस स्वाद से मिली-भगत कर सांस को चटकाती 

रसोई में बनते हुए पकोड़ों की मिर्चीली महक 

उस महक में मिलता खट्टी मीठी चटनियों का रस

सालों पहले की बारिश 

उस बारिश के गीले लम्हों की भीगी हुई याद 

कुछ चीज़ें बेशकीमती होती हैं 

जैसे गर्मी में दोपहर की चमकती सी धूप  ………। 

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आप बारिश में भीगने के एहसास को सोचिये। 

धूप की आंच १-२ दिन बाद 

आपकी राय की प्रतीक्षा रहेगी....... 

Did I miss.......?

It went past me so fast that I was almost sucked into its speed, almost fell. But kept my feet firm on the ground and stumbled and balanced and managed not to fall. In a few seconds it was gone way past me. I felt lucky for a fraction of moment that I didn’t fall. But then I was sad, almost mournful that it was gone.

Was it a train? Was it an opportunity? Was it a friend just running past me at jet speed? Was it family giving up on me? Was it something I knew? Was it something I have never experienced in my life? Or was it the life itself, which jetted past me? Almost pulling me into it and I almost missed being pulled into it. Was I saved or did I lose a chance?

I will never know as it went past, way too out of sight now.  I am standing here unsure if I should rejoice on being saved, cry about missing whatever it was or wait for another one of these to come. No answers, but if it was the life itself then you will not get another one, a small-self says mockingly.

Don’t know if you ever felt it but I feel this, very often these days. The same scene unfolds again and again and I am upset, sweaty, teary and unsure. I open my eyes look around, it is just me in the room. It is way past mid night. So it must have been just a dream I think, but that thought I know is just a false consolation.

A Painting--- Destroyed

It was a beautiful landscape, oil on canvas with hills and trees and rivers. Meadows ending in flower bushes just next to the farm and so much more. The artist had obviously spent months of thinking and creating this piece. Truly it was a masterpiece. It was done so beautifully, kept so alive that one could almost see the farm animals on the far side of the canvas graze. No wonder when one creates a masterpiece like this, the attachment and proud come in heavy doses. It was certainly the most prized painting by the painter.

While the painter was busy creating more art work to augment the masterpiece he had created; the master piece itself was not getting as much daily attention. And then there came the notorious bunch. The kids from the neighborhood. The group that was notorious for doing nothing but bad. They saw the masterpiece and decided to own it. But how could a number of kids own one piece of painting.

Question was difficult but solution as they thought was not as much of a problem. They would simply divide the areas on the painting and own those. So the farm goes to the fist and the mash goes to the second and then the far side mountains to the third and so on. While they had spoken of the ownership still they would argue about the extent to which their dominion on the masterpiece expended. Each one wanting to bleed into the next one’s territory.  The arguments started becoming heated and soon there will be punches and knuckles involved with the arguments.

Again the solution came easy. Since they didn’t take the pain of creating it so they didn’t care at all about the whole creation. They were just concerned about the parts that they had reserved as their own dominion. The big buy in the bunch; one fine day picked a piece of dark carbon stick and started drawing lines on the painting, dividing everyone’s territory in a manner that he claimed was just. The poor painting was smudged and no longer look like the masterpiece that the artist had created. 

“Wait this is the bush on the side of the river so it is a part of the river that I own.” One kid claimed. “No the bush is mine” the other kid retorted. And that lead to disagreement about drawn boundaries and a fight like they never had before.

The loud arguments and the sound of fists breaking on the teeth and backs were heard by the painter who so far has quietly been working in his studio next door on his next creation. He came running and tried to end the commotion, but soon he saw his painting. His masterpiece was ruined, it had jiggered lines all over the place. Right around the lines on some spots were smudges of blood that some of the fighting kids have shed while, “saving his territory”.

Sad and angry at the same time, the painter looked at them and….

I will not tell you what the painter did but you think for yourself if you were the painter what would you do in this situation?

After you have answered, look at a world map and the beauty of the rivers and valleys and rain-forests and mountains and so on. Now bring the international border lines on the same map. You will see how we the people have ruined the painting that the master painter so painstakingly created to its perfection. Think hard now and answer, would it not be fair for the master painter to give you (and me and everyone) the same punishment that you had decided for the kids who ruined the painting?

Fabric of Life

Life; as we fondly call it; what does it exactly mean? Is it the days, months and years that we have lived and that we hope to live in time to come?  Or is it just the moment that we are in, the moment that is NOW?

Be it the collage of the database built from years of being alive or the moment that is NOW; it still has many faces in it besides our own. There are the friends, the parents, the coworkers, kids, spouse and many. Some right next to us and some at the corner of the frame; but they are there. And then some who are way too close in some pictures and way too far in the others. The collage that life is cannot complete without these other faces. The other faces of those who are our own, in some way. They are the universe that we are the center of, and they make us what we are and what we will be.

Now envision if the face that is close to us in that bunch; may be the closest and not only in one picture but in many, spanned over years. So close that many times it almost mixes with our personal image. We can see a part of our own in that image and a part of that someone in our image. And one day if that face just moves away. Taken away by distance, disease, death or divorce; contemplate how that will change our image of our self in the collage going forward.

Can the places where our image has merged with theirs be whole after that? Would that leave scarred lines where it held together? Would it pain when touched in those areas? Would it heal? Would it be shaded over by some other image or some other color over time? And would it leave a scar that never fades away?  Contemplate; is the life what we are ourselves or is it the “me” in a sea of others who make it we and then the world. Think if one of those is altered would that world still stay the same?

Again this thought like many others are passing in the mind. Why am I thinking this? My reasons are my own. I look at the collage that I call as my life and look at all those faces that are near me in many frames. Almost all; and then some faces that came and went and some that stayed in the far corners. Amongst all these the thread is woven to make the fabric of life. One thread pulled and the fabric will be torn. It will necessitate to me mended. Even after mending it may never be whole.  I look at the collage again and vow to each of those faces that I will be careful to protect the fabric and many of us are woven in this together.

Life…. I am not sure what it means. But I remember the dialogue from Kung Fu Panda; “Scars don’t heal; wounds do”; “then what happens to the scars” Kung fu panda asks with childlike honesty; and with the same honesty he replies to his question without waiting for an answer, “may be scars fade” I am sure underneath some faded scars the pain persists as those are scars left from where the life was torn.

Life is precious; so is every single face in that collage. That is all that I can say about life. 

परेशां !!!

It has been a gap of many months since I posted anything. Things went so fast last few weeks that I felt they should slow down, and then I thought when things are slow, I want them to speed up, so it is not the situation it is some thing in me. And I counseled two of my very old friends. 
So I wrote this Poem based on what they told me!!


पंछी अपने परों से परेशां   है 

कि हवा का हर झोंका उसे धमकाता  है 

क्यों नहीं वो रह सकता एक जगह 

पेड़ की मानिंद

ज़मीन से पक्का रिश्ता बनाये हुए 

बिना किसी हवा के ख़ौफ़ में 

बिना किसी दाने की तलाश में 

बिना रोज़ एक नयी ज़िन्दगी जिए । 

पेड़ अपनी जड़ो से शर्मिंदा है 

की सदियों से उसे हिलने भी न दिया 

क्यों नहीं आज़ाद जी सकता वोह 

पंछी की तरह 

आसमां को आशियाँ बनाये हुए 

हवा में अपने पर फैलाये हुए 

उबा देने वाले इस सालों  पुराने जंगल से परे 

हर रोज़ एक नयी ज़िन्दगी जिए । 

Happy Holidays ! But How???

Ah finally!! Christmas celebrations are over. I heard him sigh as he sunk in the couch. Not sure if he had said what I thought he had, I continued looking at his face with a surprised smile pasted on my face, which must have made me look very awkward or even stupid. Whaattt? He continued with slight annoyance. Don’t you feel tired during holidays? So many things to do, so many items to finish, so many people to please and one mistake will ruin things till the next holiday season, and then add more stress at the next holiday season.

I started thinking what he had just said, and he was right. We may try to mask it under the celebrations and festivities, but in reality the festivals have become very stressful lately. Wait; why blame holidays? They didn’t become anything different from what they always have been; we have made them very stressful. Showoff over celebration is the primary culprit. “Social pressure” as many of us try to pin the blame on Society; to plead our own innocence. However that is even worse; how can you change the situation if you have no control over it?

An honest introspection will reveal the problem and may also show a hint of the solution.

Before I go into that let me tell you what happened this Christmas for me. I knew there were days off coming, but due to work and other reasons; I had not planned anything. No gifts, no party, no outing with the family on the 3 days after Christmas that were supposed to be extended holiday. So the stress was built no doubt. I was seeing a very Uncaring father and an equally Ungrateful husband in the mirror.

On December 23^rd after office I just took a detour to the store while coming home. When I stepped inside the store I didn’t know what to do. I thought what my kids would like to have as a gift, nothing came to mind. Then I started thinking of what they have been doing lately. The older one was reading a popular book series and loving it, and the younger one was always goofing around with his newly discovered alphabet knowledge (he is a preschooler). I think I knew what may work. After a few minutes in the store, I had the DVDs for movies based on the book series that my older son was reading. Of course I didn’t get the Bluray or the extended versions et al that I usually want in my movie collection these days. But something is better than nothing was the mantra. And after that there was this set of books for preschoolers with Disney characters.

I was not thrilled but at least felt a little better when I looked in mirror the next time. Then I picked some cosmetics stuff for my wife, no knowledge of cosmetics, but the thought should count; isn’t it?

Let us make sure that they are happy, I told my wife later that night, pointing towards the kids, that is what holidays are all about. And she agreed. It is a blessing to have an understanding spouse. So we both agreed on just a couple of decorative light strings that too inside the house. It looked pretty, in a very subtle way. So I was feeling that most of the battle is won and I was feeling not as stressed. But the party was still missing from the list and it was too late to arrange for any.

As they say, when you do good things; good things happen. A day before Christmas my wife received a call from one of our friends, around 4PM, suggesting a surprise party to celebrate a common friend’s birthday. But I was tired and my neck was stiffened during the decorative light arrangement so I couldn’t drive. That is fine we can have the party at your house, they suggested and we agreed. So Christmas Eve was fun, good dinner (not lavish in any way but good), excellent company of friends and lots of fun games that kids played in the basement. So everyone retired to bed way past mid-night after the guests were gone.

Morning of Christmas started bit late but excited. Kids were excited as they wanted to see what gifts Santa had left them and I was excited to see how they will react to the gifts. Their happiness turned my anxiety into joy as well. I learnt that my son didn’t care at all about the movie format and extended versions. The little one was happy counting his books in the set and talking about the characters on the cover pages. My wife didn’t even have to look at her gifts as the joy on kids’ faces was gift enough for her. So I sat with my book looking at all this smiling and ready to face the mirror more confidently that day.

Also I learnt this (and am sharing with you below);

·          Holidays are to celebrate not to sweat.

·         Celebration and joy are measured in quality and quantity of laughs and not in the size of decorations, monitory value of gifts or even the expanse of the dinner menu.

·         Best way to enjoy a party is having an impromptu party.

·         “Giving gifts” is good, “exchanging gifts” makes it more business-like and holiday season is to avoid such business.

·         Social pressure is a perceived notion; it is totally based on one’s perception, and has no more reality to it than one’s own perception.

·         Less elaborate party means less cleaning requirement (and hence mean more quality time) the next day.

·         Food ordered from restaurant on such a party may taste equally good as food prepared in home.

Next year the same festivals will come, there will be Diwali and the Thanksgiving and Christmas and many more based on the faith one follows or region one lives in; but celebration for any of these is more or less the same and the stress that is built is more of less the same, so the remedy can be more of less the same. (Another reason why we All are more or less the Same, in spite of the regions we live in or the faiths we follow.) Some issues and their solutions are universal and that is what binds us…but that is another topic altogether…for another day maybe…for now Happy Holidays and Happy Pre Holidays and Happy Post-Holidays.......

Note: Happiness and Stress never stay together

IF I could Choose....

Few months ago I wrote about life being a result of how and what we chose. Sharing some choices in conflicting situations...this list keeps on getting edited

What will I chose?

Being nice or being honest	I will mostly chose the 2nd  (And mostly repent later)
Politically Correct or Correct	I will mostly choose the 2nd   (again to repent later)
Caring or concerned	I will go for the 1st one
Brave or Responsible	This is a tough one, and after a lot introspection I will chose the 2nd
Scared or Courageous	I will choose the 2nd (if it was afraid instead of Scared my answer could have been different)
Spiritual or Religious	Hands down 1st  will be my choice
Serve or Being Served	A majority of times 1st
Pray or Celebrate	Another difficult one but I may chose 2nd
Play or Sleep	Mostly I will chose 1st
Work or Rest	1st comes naturally (though painfully sometimes)
Listen or Argue	I will choose 1st
Lead or Collaborate	Very situational, but I will choose 1st whenever 2nd fails (or has potential to fail) Lead by Collaboration is the Mantra

While we are it, just borrowing some time less wisdom from Sir Isaac Newton and applying it to Life

Laws of motion at Workplace (or school…or community…or…. )

1^st LAW: Law of Inertia: To make anything happen, you need to put effort…no effort no results (there are no shortcuts)

2nd LAW: Mass and Acceleration: Bigger the problem, more the Effort needed to solve it. Crying and Complaining does not count towards Effort

3rd LAW- Action and reaction: No action no reaction; so having no reaction may be an indicator of lack of action.