Did I miss.......?

It went past me so fast that I was almost sucked into its speed, almost fell. But kept my feet firm on the ground and stumbled and balanced and managed not to fall. In a few seconds it was gone way past me. I felt lucky for a fraction of moment that I didn’t fall. But then I was sad, almost mournful that it was gone.

Was it a train? Was it an opportunity? Was it a friend just running past me at jet speed? Was it family giving up on me? Was it something I knew? Was it something I have never experienced in my life? Or was it the life itself, which jetted past me? Almost pulling me into it and I almost missed being pulled into it. Was I saved or did I lose a chance?

I will never know as it went past, way too out of sight now.  I am standing here unsure if I should rejoice on being saved, cry about missing whatever it was or wait for another one of these to come. No answers, but if it was the life itself then you will not get another one, a small-self says mockingly.

Don’t know if you ever felt it but I feel this, very often these days. The same scene unfolds again and again and I am upset, sweaty, teary and unsure. I open my eyes look around, it is just me in the room. It is way past mid night. So it must have been just a dream I think, but that thought I know is just a false consolation.