मन दर्पण

Have you ever noticed that when your mind is troubled with a thought, no matter how small, everything starts looking different? The clarity of thoughts is lost and most you observe is tainted in that troubled light. The poem below is a humble attempt to pen that feeling down. 

हलचल थोड़ी सी भी हो

तो सब धुंधला कर देती है

पानी ठहरा हो तब ही

दर्पण सा साफ दिखाता है

पानी जैसा ही मन है

भर जाये तो बह निकलता है

पानी की ही तरह, जाने 

कहाँ कहाँ से गुज़रता है'

मन भी जिसको छू ले उस को 

थोड़ा सा नम कर देता है 

पानी सा मन, फिर पानी 

आँखों तक भर देता है 

एक छोटी सी बात का कंकर 

मन की सतह जब छू ले तो 

लाखों तरंगे नयी पुरानी, 

भीतर - बाहर लहराती हैं 

और इस हलचल के चलते 

सब कुछ धुंधला कर जाती हैं 

मन साधु का ठहरा पानी 

दर्पण सा बिम्ब बनाता है 

बस मन की लेहरों को 

थोड़ा संयम में रखना सीखें 

(क्यों की) 

हलचल थोड़ी सी भी हो

तो सब धुंधला कर देती है

पानी ठहरा हो तब ही

दर्पण सा साफ दिखाता है

The pictures you see here are taken by me at various lakes with that reflection in still water. 

Travel and Life

 I am sure everyone travels for work, pleasure, family and other reasons. My typical model is that I will neatly pack my things in the suitcases, take the trip. Will reach my travel destination, unpack. Initially neatly arranging the cloths and other items, that I need to use over the trip, in closets and drawers available.

Then the actual need for travel starts, be it work or leisure. However, I get so engrossed in the activities that I am never able to maintain the proper placement of cloths and other items neatly anymore. The cloths will start cluttering on the side chair and the shoes and socks near the door on the floor,

the toiletries cluttered on the bathroom counter and so on.

Then comes the time to return, and I get in the frenzied mode of collecting, cleaning, folding and placing things back in the suitcases. This is a stressful time. The items don’t fit, will not fold as neatly as they were when the journey had started, there will be kinks and wrinkles that are too stubborn to go and so on. I still don’t leave anything behind just because it is wrinkly or didn’t fit easily in suitcases. I exert effort to make room for everything.

Contemplating life as a journey I feel we follow similar process but may be somewhat less seriously.

When we start conscious life (after the toddler days of living like kings and Queens, thanks to parents) we start developing habits and building relations. Formal ones and informal ones. We keep these habits and relations with utmost care as we start. This is akin to unpacking and neatly arranging at the start of travel. Then we utilize those relations, and habits and at times ignore how we maintain afterwards. They lay scattered in our lives somewhere; at time ignored or being taken for granted. However, unlike the items on travel, the relations are mutual and with people who have own feelings, and mostly being taken for granted makes the wrinkles (of discontent) develop in the relations. Sometimes we take care of those during the journey and try to iron and maintain and make them better, but other times the wrinkles just set in deep (discontent becomes anger and disgruntlements).

Then at some point life journey starts getting to a point where it seems that some irreversible destinations (read other world) are inevitable and then eventually the end of the tour. Many of us foreseeing the turns of no-return start packing the bags again. Reaching out to the scattered and ignored relations. Trying to iron out the wrinkles. Reaching out to soften the fabric that binds and remembering how good the past experience had been. The only problem is that there are some wrinkles where pride had set in, and they will not be smoothened easily or sometimes not smoothened at all. But we should not leave them behind, unattended. Make peace with those and seek forgiveness, even if your pride says otherwise.

For such cloths with wrinkles, will you just leave them scattered ignored on the side chair, and leave them there for good? No, you do pack every single shirt, how badly it is crumpled on that chair. At the end of your journey, you always pack everything even if the creases were not smooth and the suitcase was bulging? For relations do the same; reach out and try to smoothen drop your ego and extend a hand or a hug. But better than that, just do a daily maintenance. Why wait till the journey is about to end? Why not do regular maintenance and give importance to those regularly?

Travel or life, this will work equally well; if you are, on a regular basis, neatly sorting and saving things like they were on the day one, the wrinkles will not develop, the creases will hold, the softness will be deep and not only on the surface. The value will be retained. And at the end of journey; it will be easy, no stress. Which some feel that is the key to a happier place beyond the current travels.

 

 

 

Honesty- "best policy" or "personal undoing"

Honesty is the best policy, something that was taught very passionately by my parents and teachers when I was little. This is also a message that dug in its firm roots in my mind from very early age. Even when the meaning of honesty was not as well known.

For one to know what honesty is, one must know the alternative. Children are born so pure that there is no concept of dishonesty hence they don’t really know honesty. They know only one way and that is being true to the emotions. Then we start growing and conditioning and learning on how to pick words that are 'socially- appropriate' or hide emotions or display emotions that are not very true.

Parents, teachers, society still tells you that honesty is the best policy at that stage. That statement confirms a few things. Firstly, Honesty is not the only way; there are other ways than being honest. 2^nd, the other ways may be more gratifying. Also, honesty may be a difficult path to follow. Yet it is better to be honest as Honesty is the best policy.

I will leave next few lines blank to give you a pause and meditate on the above paragraph and see if you think any of those statements are incorrect or overreaching.

Now that brings to the general process of growing up. From pre-school to high school and then college followed by professional life, at every stage honesty becomes more difficult trait to uphold in day-to-day activities and conversations. Society and culture teach to be politically correct (A.K.A - don’t be honest in words or emotions if they point to an uncomfortable fact). I can fully agree with that in circumstances where it is exercised to avoid being hurtful to others. However, at times it is observed that political correctness in dealings and conversations is followed even when the end results can be damaging. The one who points to the fallacy of situation stating some uncomfortable facts is usually not the one who is happily invited to the parties of future. So, the honest is punished. Yet Honesty stays the best policy.

In the choice of being politically correct or being correct, what will you choose? I know one answer can not fit all situations. The answer can vary from time to time, situation to situation and personal relations.

Some common thoughts to ponder upon below. I have a few situational questions. Read them and think what you will pick (A) an honest answer or (B) a politically correct/ socially acceptable answer.

And if you picked B mostly, will you still feel that Honesty is the best policy? And if you picked A mostly, are you a social outcast already?

When your wife asks, “am I looking fat?”

When your host asks, “Is the food good?”

When your coworkers/ friends ask, “How are you doing?”

When your child asks, “Am I the smartest/cutest/ best?”

When your child asks, “Do you lie?”

When your doctor asks, “How are you?”

When your manager asks (after a company announcement), “are you excited?”

When your teacher asks, “Was the class/training useful?”

When your friend asks, “Would you support me if I am wrong?”

My list can go on for a few pages or you can create your own lists as well. Can be a great idea for a party game and the answers can shift based on the amount of alcohol consumed.

Any how the final question that I will ask you is that irrespective of your picks to the questions above and how you make your decisions in life, do you see Honesty as the best policy? Or do you feel Honesty can be one’s undoing?

My answer to that question, it is both; it is the best policy as facing the uncomfortable truths is what paves the road for future, and it is the personal undoing as the one stating the uncomfortable truth is outcast.

For those who feel this thought is stretched please refer to lives (and death) of Galileo, Socrates, Aristotle, even Jesus. And also refer to the contribution of their uncomfortable truths to humanity

My conclusion:

Honesty is the best policy (in the long run for greater good)

Honesty can be one’s undoing (in the short run for the chronic honest)

 

 

 

From Back of My Notebook - 7

 I have not shared anything from back of my Notebook in many months. I didn’t write much back there lately. Just sharing some scribbles from there, observations mostly. I don’t know if anyone may share these observations or not. Hope you like and enjoy these nuggets of idle scribbling!!!

• 
  Technology gives us choice between a half-eaten apple vs bugs through windows and everything in between; no one really knows what is better
•  People can be so proud yet so insecure about their choices that many end up defending those choices strongly to any end
•  A lot of products use this vanity of users as their biggest marketing tool

• Those who own no responsibility for failures,  they can never have any claim on Success.
•  Those who never try are the only kind who never fails. Perfection is a myth.
•  Those who shift the ownership of failures to others are the biggest obstacle to success. Every team in business, sports or community must understand this simple equation.
  
•  To point fingers all you need is fingers, free time and no other skills. Which makes it one of the easiest things to do.
•  Success is sweetest when shared
•  Failure is friendly when learnt from
•  Teams are worthwhile when they bind through success and failure equally

• When people lend you a keen ear, your tongue should assume a higher responsibility

• Dilemma of many, “Want to leave the stress and become a monk, but still don’t have a Ferrari to sell” 

Note: If you are asking about the last one, then you have not read the book that this refers to

https://nuancesofbeing.blogspot.com/2013/03/back-of-my-notebook.html

https://nuancesofbeing.blogspot.com/2014/10/morefrom-back-of-my-notebook.html

https://nuancesofbeing.blogspot.com/2017/03/3rd-serving-from-back-of-my-notebook.html

https://nuancesofbeing.blogspot.com/2017/12/4th-serving-from-back-of-my-notebook.html

https://nuancesofbeing.blogspot.com/2018/03/a-5th-serving-from-back-of-my-notebook.html

https://nuancesofbeing.blogspot.com/2020/09/6th-page-from-back-of-my-notebook.html

अलग था

 Some observations on changing times; hope it conveys the spirit in which it was written

अच्छी आदतों का सिखाना अलग था

सफलता का मगर पैमाना अलग था

जिन के भरोसे पर हम खेलते हैं 

उन तर्कों का मगर ज़माना अलग था

तब सच्चे थे अब बेवक़ूफ़ हैँ

तब अच्छे थे अब अनकूल  (uncool) हैँ

ऊँचा बोलने  वाले  ही की जब सुनती हो दुनिया

करने वालो के वक़्त का फ़साना अलग था

काल चक्र की तारों में पँख  फंसा बैठा पंछी 

सोचता है सपनों  में तो आशियाना अलग था

चुग रहा रसहीन दाने कारों(cars) वाले चौक से

छत पे बेपरवाह बिखरा दाना, दाना अलग था

अब समझाओ भी तो  कोई कहाँ सुनता है ?

और पहले तो , बिन बोले भी सुनाना अलग था

इतनी बदल जाएगी शायद पता था, फिर भी

दुनिया से दिल को लगाना अलग था 

अच्छी आदतों का सिखाना अलग था

सफलता का मगर पैमाना अलग था

जिन के भरोसे पर हम खेलते हैं

उन तर्कों का मगर ज़माना अलग था

Can Not Forget

 There are times that you want to remember and are not able to keep in the memory with correct colors and details. And then there are days that you would want to forget but those adamantly stay stuck in your mind with their stubborn and even ugly details. 

 Today happens to be one such day.  20 Years ago today; I left my hotel room. The plan was to be in The City before 8AM so that we can be at the site roof top latest by 830AM. 

 My coworker was late in picking me up. Which did annoy me a lot. And then he had these annoying jokes playing on the radio while our car was crawling slowly through the jammed highway. This travel time can be less than 40 minutes with no traffic and more than 2 hours with traffic. An early start would have meant quicker arrival. But his 15-minute delay in start would cost us at least an additional 1 hour on the road. 

 We can never reach there on time, I complained. Let us plan to get to lesser crowded roads further south this morning, to the island and get back to city later in the day or tomorrow maybe. He responded.

 We didn't seem to have a choice, so I reluctantly called rest of team and asked them to move to the site visits further south. And everyone agreed. Likely we were not the only ones from the larger team, who were late that morning.

 

The joke on radio was almost obscene when we stepped on the lower level of the bridge. In a few minutes the bridge shook, as if a tremor has hit. We didn't know what that was. But we learnt; by the time we reached the other end of the bridge thorough a flash news on radio, “A plane has hit the world trade center”

 Confused and clueless we turned the car and get to the shores of the river at the Staten Island, just outside the ferry station, when a 2nd plane hit the 2nd tower.

 This was 20 years ago, and the painfully ugly display is stuck in the Mind with all its details. What followed was chaos that lasted hours maybe days. Two amazing and iconic buildings decimated. Thousands of lives lost. Tens of thousands of families were left with bleeding hearts. The way we had lived changed forever that day. 

I would have been on a site caravan visit at 830Am that morning on the roof top of a departmental store right next to the twin towers, if my coworker was not late to pick me up that day. 

 

20 years past but that pain on loss of life stays. That Confusion about insanity of human race stays. That shame on the level of ruin of human mind stays. That feeling of being lost stays. All that and more is still so vivid in the mind. 

I can still feel the irritation in eyes from the smoke and smell the burning metal. I can still feel the chaos around that ferry station. I still can see those cars standing outside the ferry station, many of whose owners will never return. I can still see the confusion on the faces of survivors coming from the city in the ferry with the business suits covered in ash and soot and some with blood on their face, ears, nose, hands. I am sure none of them has forgotten that day when thousands of lives were lost, and humanity was defeated.

 Although the day didn't end at destruction. The display of ugliness was followed by the selfless heroism of the fire fighters, police and other first responders and many common men and women. The Humanity was hurt that day, but it didn't die. These heroes kept it alive.

20 years later when those painful  memories surface, I remind myself of the heroes of that day who went on in the harms way to save and to heal.

That delay in start that morning, the change of plan, watching the horrible events of that day, feeling the loss and desperation that followed; all that combined; tells me there must be a reason for me and my coworkers the way that day unfolded. Also that hate has no room anywhere. Hate is un-Godly; irrespective of the faith one follows

That is a day I can never forget

That is a day I will never Forget.

देश ना हो

Having just celebrated India's Independence day this month, I have been thinking. Patriotism always has a high place in my mind and I have always been proud of my being Patriotic. Now that I am a US citizen and I am still patriotic, it doesn't have to change my love for my birth country. I think most of my ideas are grounded in another feeling, Humanity. 

What if one have to chose between being human or being patriotic? I know this is a tough choice. So I wrote the lines below, which may make it easier. Just a thought and if I offend you with this, then accept my preemptive apology

देश ना हो ना हो सरहद

ना देश प्रेम की बात भी हो

हम एक विश्व हम एक कुटुंभ  

ना दुश्मनी द्वेष की बात भी हो

ना जंग रहे ना फ़ौज रहे

ना झंडे ना ही कोई राष्ट्रगान

ना करना हो  दूजे का तिरस्कार

ना ही अपने पे अभिमान

हम सब मानव, हम एक जात

सब आगे बढ़ें, हम एक साथ

स्पर्धा प्रतिस्पर्धा से ऊपर उठ कर

विश्व कल्याण की ही हो बात

ना दास रहे ना दासता

ना स्वतंत्रता के लिए लड़े

ना ऊँचा ना नीचा कोई
एक साथ एक ओर बड़े

तब सब मिल के मनाये

स्वतंत्रता दिवस निराला

वो दिन जब मानव ने खुद को

सच में स्वतन्त्र कर डाला 

और तब

देश ना हो ना हो सरहद

ना देश प्रेम की बात भी हो

हम एक विश्व हम एक कुटुंभ  

ना दुश्मनी द्वेष की बात भी हो