Can Not Forget

 There are times that you want to remember and are not able to keep in the memory with correct colors and details. And then there are days that you would want to forget but those adamantly stay stuck in your mind with their stubborn and even ugly details. 

 Today happens to be one such day.  20 Years ago today; I left my hotel room. The plan was to be in The City before 8AM so that we can be at the site roof top latest by 830AM. 

 My coworker was late in picking me up. Which did annoy me a lot. And then he had these annoying jokes playing on the radio while our car was crawling slowly through the jammed highway. This travel time can be less than 40 minutes with no traffic and more than 2 hours with traffic. An early start would have meant quicker arrival. But his 15-minute delay in start would cost us at least an additional 1 hour on the road. 

 We can never reach there on time, I complained. Let us plan to get to lesser crowded roads further south this morning, to the island and get back to city later in the day or tomorrow maybe. He responded.

 We didn't seem to have a choice, so I reluctantly called rest of team and asked them to move to the site visits further south. And everyone agreed. Likely we were not the only ones from the larger team, who were late that morning.

 

The joke on radio was almost obscene when we stepped on the lower level of the bridge. In a few minutes the bridge shook, as if a tremor has hit. We didn't know what that was. But we learnt; by the time we reached the other end of the bridge thorough a flash news on radio, “A plane has hit the world trade center”

 Confused and clueless we turned the car and get to the shores of the river at the Staten Island, just outside the ferry station, when a 2nd plane hit the 2nd tower.

 This was 20 years ago, and the painfully ugly display is stuck in the Mind with all its details. What followed was chaos that lasted hours maybe days. Two amazing and iconic buildings decimated. Thousands of lives lost. Tens of thousands of families were left with bleeding hearts. The way we had lived changed forever that day. 

I would have been on a site caravan visit at 830Am that morning on the roof top of a departmental store right next to the twin towers, if my coworker was not late to pick me up that day. 

 

20 years past but that pain on loss of life stays. That Confusion about insanity of human race stays. That shame on the level of ruin of human mind stays. That feeling of being lost stays. All that and more is still so vivid in the mind. 

I can still feel the irritation in eyes from the smoke and smell the burning metal. I can still feel the chaos around that ferry station. I still can see those cars standing outside the ferry station, many of whose owners will never return. I can still see the confusion on the faces of survivors coming from the city in the ferry with the business suits covered in ash and soot and some with blood on their face, ears, nose, hands. I am sure none of them has forgotten that day when thousands of lives were lost, and humanity was defeated.

 Although the day didn't end at destruction. The display of ugliness was followed by the selfless heroism of the fire fighters, police and other first responders and many common men and women. The Humanity was hurt that day, but it didn't die. These heroes kept it alive.

20 years later when those painful  memories surface, I remind myself of the heroes of that day who went on in the harms way to save and to heal.

That delay in start that morning, the change of plan, watching the horrible events of that day, feeling the loss and desperation that followed; all that combined; tells me there must be a reason for me and my coworkers the way that day unfolded. Also that hate has no room anywhere. Hate is un-Godly; irrespective of the faith one follows

That is a day I can never forget

That is a day I will never Forget.