Conversations, Characters and a Ride share - 5th

Dream to Reality

The last post was my tribute to dreamers, and this one is a story of one who couldn’t stop dreaming. One who realized a dream and then dreamt again and realized that to just dream again and kept the cycle going. I know I cant do full justice to his story, but still will share to my best effort.

I landed in Pittsburgh and had 2 hours before my 1st meeting. Somehow, I decided against waiting and heading direct to the meeting location. I am glad that I did, as I could meet my most interesting ride share driver.

He must have been in early 70's. Wearing a neatly ironed button-down shirt he greeted me with a smile and excellent mannerism. I stepped on the front seat and we started chatting. I usually don't come at airport he said but today was different. So what places you usually go to? I asked. See I am a full-time grandfather who part time does other things. Usually I take my 4 grandchildren to various classes and places and offer ride shares in between. That is interesting, I smiled. Yes, family is a beautiful thing. I came to know the value of family while living alone for many years. Aha that can be a story worth listening to, I thought. When and why were you alone. In my youth I worked for secret services. For many years I was posted in Europe, secret ops. So, I was not allowed to even befriend anyone. So, it was a lonely time. My awesome wife lived in Pennsylvania, I will visit her twice a year, 1 week each time. That is when I realized how important she was and how important family is. I could somewhat relate to what He said. But you were serving the nation keeping everyone safe and sacrificing family life for that is a proud thing. I tried to pep talk him. He grinned, you sound like someone from secret service days. Honestly, I see myself as the peace maker. There was Intel that we gathered and shared which could help avoid conflicts, so I sure am proud of it. Also no regrets on family front, I made up for lost family life and friendships after I moved from secret services to local police department. And then retired early. My older son is a doctor and younger works for federal government. And my wife is as beautiful and caring as she was 30 years ago. 

Great I am happy for you. Must be an amazing life working for secret services then police department and raising a wonderful family and finally retiring to become a full-time grandfather. Very exciting life if you look from my vantage point.

Yes, but being a full-time granddad is like a day job. Evenings are different. I knew that moment that the story had a new chapter. I am all ears I said. So, evenings, well two weekdays and both weekend days I play drums in my band. Yep have a band.  I wanted to learn some music ever since I was a kid. But never had chance, about 4 years ago I attempted to learn something. Actually; anything would have been okay with me. But my music teacher told me that I had good sense of rhythm and asked me to try drums. I was surprised at discovering that I had good sense of rhythm, he chuckled. So, now my drums are my 2nd love, of-course my wife stays on the top rank. We started our band. The lead guitarist is a 60-year-old neuro-surgeon youngest in the band. Our lead singer is my age and a retired professor, keyboard guy is an old grumpy soul who would never share what he does outside the band life. We don't dare ask too. I think either mafia or secret service, he broke into a laugh as he said. But good thing we play at the plaza and now we have started having some shows. We will be playing in the local fair next month. 

I am impressed I said, so is that all or something else? He laughed, no that is all, for now. May be one day we will sign a big Hollywood contract. I hope I retire as good as you, when I do. Don't just hope he said, Plan. We all plan our life, our jobs, promotions, weekends, vacations and everything. But when the age hits we just retire, without planning. I see that same as committing slow suicide. So, if you know what I mean, plan for retirement. And please don't plan the way your bank would say, how much money will you have and how your medical will be taken care of etc. Plan what will you do in your time. Plan how will you celebrate life and not having to go to an office every day. Plan what will you give to people around you. 

Yes sir, I hear you. I’ve seen someone else like you who lives a few thousand miles away and proudly I will add, he is my father. I wish two of you could meet one day and compare notes. I said while getting out of the car. Why not? he responded, bring him to Pittsburgh next month on 20th he will be my guest for the concert. 

I know I couldn’t keep my promise and see your concert, but I also know one day I will be able to do that. You with your band and your thinking will not be difficult to find, next I visit Pittsburgh Sir. But before signing off I will sincerely thank you for your valuable advise and request all my friends and family reading this go through the retirement plan paragraph again and make a commitment to your selves. We all can be comparing notes a few decades away to see who planned it well.

Conversations, Characters and a Ride share - 4th

Dreamers 
Here are some small snippets of professions that few of my ride share drivers were from, This is a tribute to few of the many dreamers I’ve met on these ride shares.

It was snowing and I was in my business suit when I rode the vehicle. The driver was very polite, from the way he spoke he reminded me of an old friend. So I asked if he too was from central Africa, just like my friend. Qui! he responded. I am from Cameroon. That was an instant conversation starter. What do you do Sir, he asked? I work for a consulting firm I responded. I want to do something like that, he said. But very few opportunities in my field of expertise, he sighed. What field will be that? I asked. I worked in Cameroon for a cellphone service provider. I was a BSS engineer. He mentioned. Most of my friends tell me that in the US only way to get a good job in technology is if you are a software engineer. I am trying to earn money by driving and helping some businesses on their WiFi network maintenance to earn enough to learn software development. I started as a BSS engineer in India almost 20 years ago, I said. And I still work in telecom industry, I handed him my business card; Send me your resume if you want and may be something can work on BSS or network side for you. His eyes sparkled. After a few days he was working as a Network engineer with one of my friend’s firm. Ironically now after a few years he is an expert in enterprise WiFi. He occasionally calls me and we do talk about that day he picked me from my house to drop me to the airport. I always feel that I recommended his name to my friend because I had felt his passion for his dream, when I had met him. I am glad that I was in his car that day else how would I tell my friend that he owes his best performer to my recommendation. One day I will get a chance to work with you my friend, you know you are worth it.

Another day, late evening from airport to home I met another dreamer. He was driving the ride share from 7pm to 11pm daily as he told me. What do you do before 7, I asked? Oh, I work for The airlines from 9am to 6pm. Curently, I am a baggage handler. But I will not be that for long. He said in a gritty voice. I am working in my degree in avionics. I know I started late, but while growing up I never had thought about a career. I started as a porter at the Airport and then learnt how much fun engineering can be. So I work long hours on weekdays and attend school over weekends. You know what, I was interviewed by a major airline last week and I think I will fill a role in engineering team. They are giving me a trainee role till I graduate. I am impressed, I said, you sure should be proud of yourself. I am sir he replied, but more than that my wife and my 5 year old son are proud of me. That is what I want to see more than anything. 
Dream on my friend as the world is made a better place by those who dream. I said.  I could see proud in his smile when I was leaving the car. I knew I have a story to tell my kids that night. 

I hope I see the other side of his story one day. I am sure he has fulfilled his dream by now. And I hope he already had his next dream. Because dreamers make the world worthwhile.


I remember writing an article many years ago and there was a line that have kept me going on the dream chase sharing that while we are talking of dreamers- 
 Dreams don't have handles to hold on to; but they do have wings ! 

So all dreamers out there, just don't hold back, nurture them and one day your dreams will spread the wings and fly, taking you along! 

Conversations Characters and a Ride Share - 3rd

I hope you liked last two experiences that I shared. So here is the third episode of  Conversations, Characters and a Ride share.

This time I was in Oklahoma city, on my first visit there. I have remote managed work in OKC but never traveled there before. Reached late at night and took the shuttle to the hotel near the Airport.  

Next morning getting ready for the meeting, I discovered that we had to squeeze the meeting and lunch plan to a lunch meeting only. That meant, no projector to electronically present and we will have to print the presentation . I promptly summoned a ride share to get to nearest Kinkos and get the presentation printed. My conversation while going was good, may be for a later day. However when I was done printing and binding, I had to call a new ride.

The request was for a small car, but what showed up was a large Ford F-150 pickup truck. I was greeted by a well built man with a heavy South American voice, wearing a Mexican Hat. This is slightly big to be called a small car, I chuckled. Ahahaha! after a loud laugh he said, the shareable portion of the car is small, just the two seats. everything back in the truck is for my work. Oh okay so what work you do? I asked as cued. And he said; 

I make Pinatas!!! 

Oh! A professional Pinata maker was my ride share driver. I looked at him almost in disbelief. A Pinata maker, though I never thought of it earlier, but that moment for me was 2nd best to seeing Santa for real. 

Having seen hundreds Pinatas in parties and stores. Having bought a few on my kids birthdays, I had never thought about the question "who makes them?" And there he was a Professional Pinata maker.

I don't make the kind you see in stores, to me they are a rip off if the original. On movie themes and all. I make real traditional Pinatas. For festivals and parties trying to keep the real Pinata tradition alive. I do a lot of custom orders. Many times for office parties and picnics. Birthdays and marriage anniversaries and all sorts of celebrations.

My wife and my sister work with me on any large orders. We make 200 Pinatas a month during busy times. Then I put them in the back of the truck and deliver them to customers who ordered them. We are well known in 5 states around Oklahoma for my Pinatas. A lot of good customers who have me as their exclusive Pinata maker for more than a decade.

I am keeping the art and tradition of pinata making alive. And I am proud of that. A very valid reason for his pride. The proud in his voice was the evidence of his passion for pinata making. I could see beauty of some of his work in his words.

My Pinatas bring joy and luck, he winked. I was sure he is telling me the truth. Colored paper, soft wood, some cardboard and glue, that is all the recipe of pride. Joy and Pinatas.

The stores and factory made pinatas are slowly killing the business, he said with a sigh; but I will keep this alive as long I can, he continued with a resilient tone. That is why the ride share, make money for family while the Pinata making is slow. Keep kids comfortable and keep the tradition alive. 

I didn't ask him many questions, I couldn't ask him many questions. In my earthly existence he truly was some what other worldly. A Pinata maker. I can check that off my bucket list, " meeting a Pinata Maker"

Good luck my friend, may you continue giving joy, laughter and Pinatas. People need you. People need your pinatas. As for me I've a good conversation starter in occasional parties I go to. "You know once I met a Pinata maker" What, oh! never thought of someone doing that, tell me more, and the conversation starts.

Thanks Mr C. the Pinata maker. Hope you continue spreading joy. Hope the truck is mostly full with its best cargo, the Pinatas and lesser need to use it as a ride share. But don't stop offering the ride share in your free time as there are passengers like me in the world who need to talk to a Pinata maker and believe in that the small packages of happiness like Pinatas have a human hand making them.

Conversations Characters and a Ride Share - 2nd

International Passenger service

As promised here is the 2nd installment of the conversations. And today I start talking about professions.

Many of the drivers on the app-based ride share services that I have met are not full-time drivers. They have other professions and they do this to on the side for many reasons. Income augment is sometimes one of those reasons.

Once I was in Dallas Texas and had used a ride service from North Plano to DFW  (Dallas Fort Worth) Airport. The distances in Texas are really Texas size. In almost 1-hour drive, I started with my general query, "Is this your full-time work, or you do something else besides this app-based cab driving?"

He smiled and said, no this is only a few days a month rest of the time I do something else, very similar in general term but still so different. Mystery element in the statement was obvious especially when he turned to me and smiled. So, what exactly you do? I take passengers from one place to another a little longer distance than my car rides. To be precise from Dallas to Japan, I am a pilot. Wow! I said while my eyes widened. So why do you do this, I am sure flying international pays a lot. 
Maybe, but I don't do it for money he said. I am flying international almost 15 days a month and resting a few, that leaves me with just one week or less each month. Too little to make friends and plan anything. By driving this I connect with people, I learn and live. Gives me a feeling of being connected. Thinking of him sitting in the cockpit of a big airliner for hours with minimal human interaction, except occasional chat with copilots or a nudge from the crew for food or so. I could well understand his reason for driving. 

Lately, I am being afraid of flying give me some advice, I asked. Statistically speaking, planes are safer than cars, he replied with a hearty laugh. But then with serious note he said, to overcome fear of flying, learn to fly and then you will be good. Great advice, not that I am planning to follow any time soon. He gave me some more tips on knowing about planes and their safety etc. I shared what I do for a living and some insights of life from my vantage point, when he asked. Over all we had a great conversation Mr. Pilot and Mr. Cab driver in alter ego. 

May you continue having great conversations and stay fulfilled. One day I may act on your advice, but "the planes are safer than cars" have made me bit more confident about flying. Not sure how it has impacted my driving. 

Aha! Caught you there my friend. Hope to see you another time on another trip till then safe flying and happy driving.

1st note in this series below if you did't read earlier 
https://nuancesofbeing.blogspot.com/2018/10/conversations-characters-and-ride-share.html 

Conversations Characters and a Ride Share - 1st

The Sound of Silence 

I started using an app-based ride-sharing/ taxi service a few years ago. Never an early adapter to the things that become talk of town. I try to go by merit then hype on my picks. Obviously, bragging rights is never a part of my decision criteria.

Well, ever since I started using the service, reluctantly at first, I've found one big merit. The conversations that one ends up having. Usually you meet drivers who are from all walks of life and mostly you end up having a conversation that you feel should go on beyond the journey that you shared.

I've many stories and many characters from my such experiences, some just fun and some great learning. I promise I will share some of those. But today I am writing about the driver I had this morning (and as a matter of fact 2 days before too I had the same driver).

If you ask what so good about that conversation with this driver that I want to write about as the 1st in this line of conversations. In reality, we had no conversation at all, both the times. At least not in the way I’ve been conditioned to converse. She didn't say even a word (neither did  I). She was nice, polite, very professional but she didn't utter a word, because she couldn't hear or speak. She could understand my gestures while driving me to the airport. Picking the turns that I suggested. Dropping me at the gate that I wanted, even though it was not on her well-prepared placard that one could point to. 

She wore an awesome smile and an awesome attitude throughout. Very professional, knew her work well, had excellent grip on the road, had mastered the driving. She couldn't speak or hear, but she didn't need any of that. 

My 1st conversation to mention was not a conversation. Not in traditional sense, but truly a million unsaid words as an ode to resilience, professionalism and attitude to overcome the challenge that some less optimally working faculties has presented her. 

Ms. J, thanks for speaking the language of courage. Hope to see you again on another such trips and listen to your silence and courage. And learn some more.

Two Trees

Two seeds sown at a little distance from each other. Compared to the seed's dimensions the expanse between them is too vast to reckon. But then they sprout and start spreading their roots, the distance all of a sudden seems much lesser. They share the same soil the same water and grow together, but still they are apart. 

Then the saplings grow into small plants with one’s roots touching the others and one’s branches pushing the other in an attempt to gain larger chunk of the shared space. During windy evenings they even hit and try to snap the other.

Eventually weathering the storms together, reluctantly at first and jointly there after; they grow into mature trees. The distance that seemed infinite at the initial stage, just vanishes. The roots are intertwined. The soil and water are shared without any reason for conflict. The branches above intertwined like the roots supporting the other during storms. The trees face the elements together. Inter dependent, respecting each other's space while all the boundaries having been erased. Helping each other survive and grow. Becoming each other's part.

Supporting each other in rain or shine or storms. Inseparable, the passer by sees the branches and can never tell which belong to what tree. Same with the roots, they stand inseparable, mixed and grown into each other. They are two trees yet survive like one entity. Each one is other's strength and others support. And with that interdependence they grow bigger and stronger. They shelter birds  and squirrels. They develop a whole ecosystem around them. They create a whole world based on their mutual support and interdependence.

And such is the institution of marriage too!!

Less than a month ago completed 14 years with my partner tree, still snapping some leaves sometimes but mostly holding each others branches during the storms.. Growing Stronger together!!!!

The Epic and the Palm Squirrel

If you have read Ramayana you will know the story I am talking about, but if you have not then also I think my little story below should be whole in itself. Hope I am able to convey what I want to with this story.


The mood was upbeat, the army was chanting the name of their leader while laying the stones to make the bridge. The architect (and master builder) twins were busy ensuring that everything goes as per their well laid plan. Everything must be done right, no mistake is acceptable, after all marching a whole army across the sea is no small feat and so the bridge they were building to do the same should not be a small act as well. And while all the soldiers and the builders and the workers are putting all their might, there comes a tiny squirrel. (If you have seen an Indian palm squirrels, you will know compared to its American cousin, it is a tiny creature.)

The squirrel is seen taking a dip in the water, rolling in sand at the beach and then going on the bridge to shake the sand and water off its body and then repeat it again and again. The squirrel is brought to Lord Ram and when asked about its seemingly irrational act, the squirrel says, I know you are building a bridge across the sea to take an army to Lanka, the gold studded capital of Ravan, the Demon King. I am too small to fight in a battle or to carry the big boulders to make the bridge so I am doing my part by taking some water and sand on the bridge and filling the gaps between the stones. Also, the sand will help smoothen the walk and lesson blisters on the feet of the soldiers. I know you are going to fight the evil and I am doing my small part in that war. After all everyone should know what side they are on,  when it is a war between the good and the evil. Lord Ram was emotionally moved hearing this and he affectionately rubbed his hand on the squirrels back to give blessings and convey his gratitude. It is said that his fingers removed some sand from the furry back of the squirrel and left finger marks. The belief is that the 3 stripes on the back of the Indian squirrel are a mark of Lord Rama’s blessings and hence carried proudly by all the decedents of that small palm squirrel who was not afraid to do its part in the fight between good and evil.

In my opinion this story is a must tell to all kids, all students, all professionals etc. I am not saying it out of any religious affiliation. As a matter of fact, I have followed 2 religions from my birth very regularly (and simultaneously). One being my Mom’s and other being my Dad’s birth religions. And also, having read stories from multiple religions and belief systems in the world, I am convinced that at the core all of them are same.

This story should be told because of many factors. The biggest of all that is that in a story about an epic war between good and evil, a story about the God and the Demon, a story with thousands of warriors, sophisticated weapons, chariots, impossible expectations, devas (Gods, Demi-Gods) Asuras (Demons), still a tiny palm squirrel gets a serious mention. Because the squirrel knew to play its part without being asked to do so. It chooses a task that is appropriate for its size, structure and skills and does it dedicatedly, again without being asked or told to do so.  There is no reward promised none expected, the squirrel’s actions are bound by its self-decided duty. The squirrel was humble, brave and honest when captured and brought in front of Lord Ram. It did not get scared or ask for reward, just declares its intent to play its part and reasoning about the importance of the same, almost declaring the necessity for it to continue.  

There is intent, there is intention, there is honestly, there is thought, there is dedication, there is self-realization, 100% accountability, 0% dependency on anyone else, there is commitment and determination and lot more in that tiny squirrel’s big gesture. Every child can learn a lot from the squirrel. And every one in professional settings can learn as well, irrespective of the job, industry or levels. If you look at the list above, you may see a few of those items in your appraisal forms.

Epilogue: The bridge across sea was finally built. The army finally crossed to Lanka and after many days of fierce war causing many casualties on both sides, Ravan was defeated and killed. The good triumphed over the evil. The squirrel’s efforts paid off.

बसते हुए घर

The poem below is an observation, a caution and an advise. Posting this especially for the friends who became parents recently. So good luck for an awesome journey called parenthood. And to everyone else, hope this strike the strings in heart...

बसते हुए घर

भागते कदमों के नीचे 

चरमराती सीढ़ियां,
चीख़ते, रोते  कभी झगड़ते, चिल्लाते 

मानते, हँसते कभी बेबात खिलखिलाते 

लगता  कोई कोहराम का मंज़र है 

पर यह बच्चों से आबाद बसते हुए घर हैं


बेकार के झगड़े, बिन बात की बहस 

खनकती हंसी जैसे चिरैया की चहक 

टूटते दांत तो  फूटते घुटने कहीं 

छोटी बाहों, बड़े दिलों की जफ़्फ़िया गुनगुनी 

आँख की नमी  तो बस रेहमत का शुक्र  है 

क्यों कि यह बच्चों से आबाद बसते हुए घर हैं  

पता भी ना चलेगा कब  यह नेमतें 

ख़ुद मुख्तार हो जाएँगी 

इनकी शरारते, पुख्ता उम्र में खो जाएँगी 

इस कोहराम, इस जफ्फी को याद रखना 

जफ्फी के सेक की याद में ठंडक का असर है 

जो यह बच्चों से आबाद बसते हुए घर हैं   

कोहराम - Chaos

मंज़र  -  View, Scene

नेमत  - Gift, Blessing

ख़ुद मुख़्तार - Self dependent

पुख्ता उम्र - Mature