A day- So Special

Calendar; same as watch; keeps on moving. Sending a new date every day. The cycle of 365 (or occasional 366) is repeated over and over in one’s life. Most dates are repeated without mention, however some of those dates put a mark on you, and stay with you for your life.

One such date just passed the calendar few days ago for me.

The date that meant nothing till 10 years ago, but all of a sudden, it started meaning the world. 10 years ago 3^rd of September, I the father was born.  I would not have said this in the way I did, if my 10 years old had not wished me happy birthday on his birthday. Confusing? Of course; but smart. He said Happy Birthday Papa, and when I gave a smile shaped as a question mark he laughed and said; “you were not a papa till I was born, so “Happy birthday papa”

Happy birthday Son, truly, I always thought that my wife and I were the parents and you were our child, but that moment I realized, we were not parents till you made us that. Confusing again? Of course, remember I am his dad, so same DNA and hence similar acts.

Proud, happy, worried, concerned, confident yet needing reassurance, strong still praying, letting go to give independence but still holding on to avoid dangers and so many more mutually conflicting and confusing emotions that pile up, get entwined in the mind in the name of parenthood.

Gifts, vacation, excellent dinner, good wishes, advice and a lot more was in my agenda to facilitate the day for him, but none of that seemed sufficient. He is a part of me. At times he is the mirror that I see myself in, with proud mostly and at rare times with mild humiliation. So all I pray is that he does way better than me in all what I did good. He doesn’t ever have to face any of the embarrassments that I had faced. He stays stronger in any difficulties than how I have been. And he continues to earn the love and respect always.

My dear son, thanks for making me a proud father. I hope I am a good one, I will never succeed as a father if you don’t succeed as a person so we are in this together; always, we are team. I said this as my birthday wish to him.

 

“Am I in team with you or with Mom?” was the question I heard after I have said the above words. No it was not my 10 year old birthday boy, it was my little son, the 6 year old baby of the house.

I and my older son we both laughed, and the little one laughed with us. Yes you are with us in the same team and so is your mom, hope we make a good team son”

We will papa, both said in chorus.

Their confidence in saying that tells me my prayers are being heard.