Zeal - The answer

I don't see the aggression in this team. Aggression is what we need to win. He went on with that speech. But the 2 first sentences had turned me off. I didn't even hear what he was saying. Next day I asked my parents to not enroll me for next season. And that was end of my game as a cricketer.

I was not bad at the game and could have played to help my team win, improved my skill and delivered what it takes to win. But I stopped as coach has asked for aggression and aggression was not my thing. I was committed but not aggressive. I feel I still miss the game. Who knows the game and my team might have missed me too. I was a good off spinner, there was no other in the team. I was below average with bat but was committed to improve. Improvement was slow and I didn't know why. But my coach explained "you need aggression to win" 

I was startled with that revelation, I didn’t have what it takes to win. I can be angry at times (even very angry). I am committed mostly to the cause I pick. I work hard but I cannot be aggressive.

Those words were etched in mind. You need aggression to win. Lack of aggression was considered same as lack of commitment. 

I could have been miserable for ever till I came across my dictionary, much later in life while I was preparing a presentation at work. Still the rhetoric of aggression needed for victory was very much in-vogue. I stumbled over the word ZEAL. And I knew I had my answer. My Nirvana. Be committed, be Zealous. Zeal and not aggression was needed to win.

Aggression makes mobs and Zeal makes teams (I told myself)

So my coach had a semantic problem. I was happy that all was not lost. I had in me what it takes to win. I had the zeal needed for the right cause, I would never have enough aggression but zeal would work for me as well.

But then I look around me, friends, family, coworkers, even little kids; everyone had learnt it from a similar coach. You need aggression to win. No aggression means no commitment which means no victory. I am not sure if I should just ignore my new found knowledge or just ignore it and live rest of my days trying (and failing) to achieve aggression and not focus on being zealous, which come more naturally?

While in the middle of my dilemma, I had this phone call with a nice kind lady many hours east of me. It was very early for me in the day and a little past mid-day for her. After the pleasantries were exchanged; and the cause at hand discussed; I had to either persuade her to my point of view or to get convinced by hers (or may be develop a 3^rd point of view collaborating between the two). Perfect team work scenario; but then the need to be Aggressive to Win took over her completely. She must have had a mentor like my coach. I felt attacked by a voice becoming shriller and tone switching between sarcastic and angry. I let my mind shut-off, as counter aggression by aggression is an option that I rarely used and never felt proud of using it (even when I have won). I excused myself with the pretext of gathering more data for her to consider. But instead built a case (documented with facts and different viewpoints). Eventually discovering that we both were right in parts, but wholly supporting one’s view point would have meant disaster. I prepared a solution and presented to the client. The cause won. I won with it, and so did she. The aggression however lost and the zeal to solve did win.

Lesson learnt-We both could have won if we had focused on solving the problem instead of winning. Aggression makes you always secure a win for yourself, strike a goal; but zeal will make you solve the problem at hand. Zeal states that you don’t win till you have solved the issue at hand.

Ask yourself (I asked myself and discovered some despicable moments) How many times you’ve been aggressive in the conversations, the discussions, the plans where zeal could have done trick in much better way without having to have any tensed muscles.

Next Steps change the vocabulary and more

ü                          Aggression to be replaced with Zeal

ü                        Aggressive should go and Zealous should be in

ü                       Compete is outdated Collaborate is the way to go

ü                      Don’t try to win or lose, work for the cause to win and you win automatically

ü                       Aggression can be infectious stand your Zeal and the cause instead of getting    infected

ü                     Listen to gather important points from other side rather than responding even when the discussion becomes an argument

ü                    Do it with Zeal

Live, play, work, socialize, party what ever you do; do it with Zeal, you will be one step closer to the ultimate.