Trust

He looked at us with helplessness in his eyes. His whole body and his wailing were pleading us to make things better for him. I looked back and softly said in my mind “it is okay son, this is for your benefit.” And I am sure he heard that, as he looked at me in disbelief and then cried “mummy!!!” transferring his pleas to his mom.

This is our 21 month old son getting a urinary tract X-Ray. It is an extremely uncomfortable procedure especially for his age. And at this age this is not supposed to make any sense to him. I am sure he felt betrayed and upset that we; his parents took him to these strangers who laid him on a cold table with a few layers of lead and then injected a dye to check things. How can something so painful be good? But it is important to know if his condition has improved and by how much. A condition that was first noticed when he was a 5 month old in his mother’s womb; thanks to the modern day medical imaging techniques.

After a bit of struggle and cries; he submitted to it and stopped shaking. He was still sobbing and upset, but his eyes showed neither anger, nor hurt, just sad submission with a gleam of Trust. I think he knew that we; his parents; will not let anything harm him and our being there with him reassured him.

I have a feeling that one day when he grows up, he will remember this and he will understand that we were always on his side. All we want; like any parents; is to make sure that our kids are doing well in life and staying healthy and happy. Kids can mostly take that for granted. I, as a kid always did, and few times when I had struggled to understand my parent’s motivations behind certain actions; became so obvious when I grew up and even more clear when I became a father.

Now the good news, his condition is better than it was the last time this test was done almost 18 months ago. This indicates his body is making things better for himself. An amazing machine, the human body, it self-heals; self-cures and take care of itself if left to do the same. 

We are waiting for him to be fully well on this side and off antibiotics. We were very upset when we first found out about this. But now having visited the doctors a few times in last 20+ months and having discussed things in detail; we have stopped being sad and worried from inside. Both I and his mother looked at the almighty in the core of our heart and display the same; submission with Trust. We know things are all good as the ONE we looked towards will not let anything harm us.