Welcome 2022

 Another page rolled, another day started, another year has begun. Last many years, I welcomed with Open arms and a few promises to myself. I am never able to keep all promises that I enlist at the start of the year; however, each one of those is worthy of keeping. So if I am able to keep myself honest to even a few of those each year, that is a step in the right direction. So here we are with another recap and another list of new or revised promises

 2021 has been a 365 days long roller coaster. With ups and downs, slow yet labored ascend and steep yet sudden falls, triumphs and heartbreaks and so on. We humans have never been as connected in experience before 2021. So, in some way it has been a unifying year.

The year meant a lot for the world. The big fear of Covid continued to shadow our minds, our rituals, our festivals, and our life. Slowly but surely, we are fighting back, controlling the spread, getting vaccinated and hopefully soon getting a medicinal cure for the disease. 

Amid the scares of delta, delta plus and omicron variants the fight back with vaccines that rolled out throughout the world this year continued to hold the fort strong for the man kind in the battle of mankind vs virus. We are scared; no doubt, but we are not defeated, and we will not be defeated. We are a resilient race.

The World had few major sporting events this year, including the Olympics and Cricket world cup. Both managed and completed with right cautions and restrictions. Both provide much needed relief to the people globally in the form of their favorite sports. Our ability to adapt and adjust was on display along with the skills of competing athletes.  While the players had to adjust to empty stadiums and recorded claps and cheers; the viewers had to adjust to watching and cheering from the safety of their living rooms. We adjusted and adapted but didn’t give up on our favorite sports. We are a resilient race

Schools and business that had seen closures and operational interruptions through out 2020, and part of 2021 started opening with right cautions and adjustments to get back life to normal while still controlling the spread. The school going children, right from early elementary school showed great discipline in wearing masks and exercising caution with no complaints. It was surprisingly pleasing. The adaptability is not a taught trait, but something coded in genes for the entire human race. Afterall we are a resilient race. 

Also, a lot happened on personal front. I made my shortest ever trip to India, after the longest ever gap between the trips. It started a call from my cousin, whom I have not spoken with in more than 10 years. (We both were so busy with our daily lives that important things were forgotten) Her son was getting married in fall and she asked if I could come. I knew I had to go; her call had filled my mind with a million memories from our shared childhood. I met my parents, my brother, sister-in-law and most of my maternal cousins after so many

years. Teasing, laughing, dancing, sharing food, sharing jokes, and above all building a million new memories. With a heart filled with gratitude to almighty for the opportunity and my cousins, nephews and nieces who made it worthwhile with their presence; I returned.

I can write on and on for 2021, but this is about 2022 which started today, so I will welcome 2022 with hope for healing. Some learnings and promises to carry with me in the new year (some repetition from past years, but worthwhile to reaffirm)

Value life – Life is not just breathing and eating. Life is the experience, the togetherness, the warmth that comes with sharing. Value Life and value everything that life brings.

Be grateful – Gratitude is one thing that will never go out of fashion. I look around, there is so much to be grateful for. Right from the 1^st breath I take as I wake up in the morning to each morsel I eat to each email, text, call, I get or send, for my family and friends, for the roof above my head, for the technology I enjoy, for the work and the paycheck, for the health and so much more. I didn’t buy or own any of that. All this is given so all I can do is stay in gratitude for all this and more.

Value relations– Relations make the human experience unique. Many time in past years I have felt hurt or upset at what some one said or did. I repeat my commitment to not react and value relationship above any instantaneous reactions. Some actions can hurt but the relations heal. See keeping the health of relation above all other feelings is worthwhile.

Appreciate more – It is easy to find reasons to appreciate if one watches carefully with a hope to catch something good. I will continue to look for reasons to appreciate. I also will look keenly for moments and actions to appreciate.

No Grudges – Keeping grudges is easy but damaging in long run. So, I will not keep any grudges. I will speak and ask to have better understanding of “behavior blind Spots*” rather than keeping a grudge.

Stay Healthy- Health is wealth, as all of us know. Good health is a blessing. I make commitment to actions leading to maintaining good health and will try to suggest same to everyone around.

Celebrate – Celebrate life and celebrate moments frequently. Life is gift and so is each moment; enjoy it to the fullest

Pray always – Prayer is the most potent way to grow, heal, support and ascend. So keep praying. Not any particular/ religious prayers; my prayer is a dialogue between my heart and the nature almighty. Just share what I liked, what hurt me, what I want to change and what I want to continue, simple statements and then accept the answers received. Be grateful for those answers and continue to pray.

I will wrap this up here with a warm welcome to 2022. A year where we will have to overcome the fear of Covid, live life and continue with our resilience. Afterall we are a Resilient race.

DON’T FORGET TO CELEBRATE !!!

WELCOME 2022

 *behavior blind Spots reference from my recent post https://nuancesofbeing.blogspot.com/2021/12/unwet-fish.html 

 

 

 

 

A Brief Dialogue

 

What do you mean you are leaving? You just came, isn’t it? I stated with surprise.

No, but I have been here, for quite some time, almost as much time as I had promised to stay. That was the response, but I was still in disbelief.

Are you sure, you taught me all that you were supposed to? Are you sure you gave all what you came to deliver? My disbelief continued.

Of course, yes; was the confident and reassuring response. But if you learnt

any thing from what I tried to teach is all up to you. So, let me ask did you learn something? Do you feel you are better than where you were when we started this journey? Now the question was turned on me and I was thinking of an appropriate response. But with a smile and reassurance the statement continued; never mind giving me that answer. I am here for a little bit more, so you answer yourself and then tell me if still something can be taught while I am still here.

That is so kind of you, I responded. I sure will spend some time meditating on what I have learnt over the period that you have been here.

And that was my conversation with the year 2021 this weekend.

I am thinking and will try to enlist how the days were in 2021, what was taught, what was learnt, what was missed and what was accomplished. Will come with that list in a few days hopefully!!!!

UNWET FISH ?

“Did the fish know that it was wet?” Of course not, as fish has not ever known dry so the concept of wet will not be even possible. For when fish is dry means it is dead. Sometimes we forget this basic fact when dealing with someone whose behavior does not comply with our standards of good. I am not saying accepting or appreciating if the behavior is bad, but while picking one’s reaction, one must know the vantage point other is seeing it from.  Knowing that for the other complying with your view might not even be an option as they might be fish who is always wet (or dead when unwet).

Lately I have been dealing with someone who always manages to annoy, in every single interaction we had. And that was irrespective of the interaction being in person, or phone or email or any other means possible. To conform my belief on that he is doing all this incorrect is the fact that every single person, who deals with him, end up feeling the same way. This person will never fail this belief, not even 1% of the time. So easy to profile, brand, ignore and voice irritation on his behavior. Now, for ease of further conversation let us call him Mr.“P” as in Problem.

Yesterday I was talking with a friend on a totally different topic, and I asked him at some point, “Did the fish know that it was wet?” Due to some unknown reason, Mr. P’s face flashed in my mind for a moment when I said that. That is when it dawned on me; what if this guy doesn’t even know that there is another way? 

What if someone could tell Mr. P that he may even have amphibious traits if he tries to venture out of water? And what if he indeed was a fish and couldn’t do any different?

I just decided that since I don’t have that level buddy-bond with Mr.“P” so I will not be the one imploring him to try and discover amphibious traits. But I will always see his behavior in the light that he may be a fish who can’t be unwet or an amphibian who was never told that it can survive outside water. So will not judge him going forward. Also doesn’t mean that I will not be annoyed at his behavior, but I will stop carrying my frustration for any minute after my conversation with him is over. I sure hope that Mr. “P” – Problem becomes Mr.“P” – Possibility, in some way.

Oh! by the way I might have similar blind spots that I am not aware of (I am sure I do). But I would hope some of you will show me what is in my blind spots so that I can at least attempt to improve. I want to be out of the water I may be in and know that I could stay well when dry.

PS: "Unwet" was not a word till I wrote this. 

"Buddy-Bond" is again something that I don't recollect being used, but I hope both these convey the meaning that I want to use them for

PPS: If you are confused reading the above, never mind; It is a bit odd topic and if you understood what I meant, then thanks, let us discuss and tell me about my blind spots

मन दर्पण

Have you ever noticed that when your mind is troubled with a thought, no matter how small, everything starts looking different? The clarity of thoughts is lost and most you observe is tainted in that troubled light. The poem below is a humble attempt to pen that feeling down. 

हलचल थोड़ी सी भी हो

तो सब धुंधला कर देती है

पानी ठहरा हो तब ही

दर्पण सा साफ दिखाता है

पानी जैसा ही मन है

भर जाये तो बह निकलता है

पानी की ही तरह, जाने 

कहाँ कहाँ से गुज़रता है'

मन भी जिसको छू ले उस को 

थोड़ा सा नम कर देता है 

पानी सा मन, फिर पानी 

आँखों तक भर देता है 

एक छोटी सी बात का कंकर 

मन की सतह जब छू ले तो 

लाखों तरंगे नयी पुरानी, 

भीतर - बाहर लहराती हैं 

और इस हलचल के चलते 

सब कुछ धुंधला कर जाती हैं 

मन साधु का ठहरा पानी 

दर्पण सा बिम्ब बनाता है 

बस मन की लेहरों को 

थोड़ा संयम में रखना सीखें 

(क्यों की) 

हलचल थोड़ी सी भी हो

तो सब धुंधला कर देती है

पानी ठहरा हो तब ही

दर्पण सा साफ दिखाता है

The pictures you see here are taken by me at various lakes with that reflection in still water. 

Travel and Life

 I am sure everyone travels for work, pleasure, family and other reasons. My typical model is that I will neatly pack my things in the suitcases, take the trip. Will reach my travel destination, unpack. Initially neatly arranging the cloths and other items, that I need to use over the trip, in closets and drawers available.

Then the actual need for travel starts, be it work or leisure. However, I get so engrossed in the activities that I am never able to maintain the proper placement of cloths and other items neatly anymore. The cloths will start cluttering on the side chair and the shoes and socks near the door on the floor,

the toiletries cluttered on the bathroom counter and so on.

Then comes the time to return, and I get in the frenzied mode of collecting, cleaning, folding and placing things back in the suitcases. This is a stressful time. The items don’t fit, will not fold as neatly as they were when the journey had started, there will be kinks and wrinkles that are too stubborn to go and so on. I still don’t leave anything behind just because it is wrinkly or didn’t fit easily in suitcases. I exert effort to make room for everything.

Contemplating life as a journey I feel we follow similar process but may be somewhat less seriously.

When we start conscious life (after the toddler days of living like kings and Queens, thanks to parents) we start developing habits and building relations. Formal ones and informal ones. We keep these habits and relations with utmost care as we start. This is akin to unpacking and neatly arranging at the start of travel. Then we utilize those relations, and habits and at times ignore how we maintain afterwards. They lay scattered in our lives somewhere; at time ignored or being taken for granted. However, unlike the items on travel, the relations are mutual and with people who have own feelings, and mostly being taken for granted makes the wrinkles (of discontent) develop in the relations. Sometimes we take care of those during the journey and try to iron and maintain and make them better, but other times the wrinkles just set in deep (discontent becomes anger and disgruntlements).

Then at some point life journey starts getting to a point where it seems that some irreversible destinations (read other world) are inevitable and then eventually the end of the tour. Many of us foreseeing the turns of no-return start packing the bags again. Reaching out to the scattered and ignored relations. Trying to iron out the wrinkles. Reaching out to soften the fabric that binds and remembering how good the past experience had been. The only problem is that there are some wrinkles where pride had set in, and they will not be smoothened easily or sometimes not smoothened at all. But we should not leave them behind, unattended. Make peace with those and seek forgiveness, even if your pride says otherwise.

For such cloths with wrinkles, will you just leave them scattered ignored on the side chair, and leave them there for good? No, you do pack every single shirt, how badly it is crumpled on that chair. At the end of your journey, you always pack everything even if the creases were not smooth and the suitcase was bulging? For relations do the same; reach out and try to smoothen drop your ego and extend a hand or a hug. But better than that, just do a daily maintenance. Why wait till the journey is about to end? Why not do regular maintenance and give importance to those regularly?

Travel or life, this will work equally well; if you are, on a regular basis, neatly sorting and saving things like they were on the day one, the wrinkles will not develop, the creases will hold, the softness will be deep and not only on the surface. The value will be retained. And at the end of journey; it will be easy, no stress. Which some feel that is the key to a happier place beyond the current travels.

 

 

 

Honesty- "best policy" or "personal undoing"

Honesty is the best policy, something that was taught very passionately by my parents and teachers when I was little. This is also a message that dug in its firm roots in my mind from very early age. Even when the meaning of honesty was not as well known.

For one to know what honesty is, one must know the alternative. Children are born so pure that there is no concept of dishonesty hence they don’t really know honesty. They know only one way and that is being true to the emotions. Then we start growing and conditioning and learning on how to pick words that are 'socially- appropriate' or hide emotions or display emotions that are not very true.

Parents, teachers, society still tells you that honesty is the best policy at that stage. That statement confirms a few things. Firstly, Honesty is not the only way; there are other ways than being honest. 2^nd, the other ways may be more gratifying. Also, honesty may be a difficult path to follow. Yet it is better to be honest as Honesty is the best policy.

I will leave next few lines blank to give you a pause and meditate on the above paragraph and see if you think any of those statements are incorrect or overreaching.

Now that brings to the general process of growing up. From pre-school to high school and then college followed by professional life, at every stage honesty becomes more difficult trait to uphold in day-to-day activities and conversations. Society and culture teach to be politically correct (A.K.A - don’t be honest in words or emotions if they point to an uncomfortable fact). I can fully agree with that in circumstances where it is exercised to avoid being hurtful to others. However, at times it is observed that political correctness in dealings and conversations is followed even when the end results can be damaging. The one who points to the fallacy of situation stating some uncomfortable facts is usually not the one who is happily invited to the parties of future. So, the honest is punished. Yet Honesty stays the best policy.

In the choice of being politically correct or being correct, what will you choose? I know one answer can not fit all situations. The answer can vary from time to time, situation to situation and personal relations.

Some common thoughts to ponder upon below. I have a few situational questions. Read them and think what you will pick (A) an honest answer or (B) a politically correct/ socially acceptable answer.

And if you picked B mostly, will you still feel that Honesty is the best policy? And if you picked A mostly, are you a social outcast already?

When your wife asks, “am I looking fat?”

When your host asks, “Is the food good?”

When your coworkers/ friends ask, “How are you doing?”

When your child asks, “Am I the smartest/cutest/ best?”

When your child asks, “Do you lie?”

When your doctor asks, “How are you?”

When your manager asks (after a company announcement), “are you excited?”

When your teacher asks, “Was the class/training useful?”

When your friend asks, “Would you support me if I am wrong?”

My list can go on for a few pages or you can create your own lists as well. Can be a great idea for a party game and the answers can shift based on the amount of alcohol consumed.

Any how the final question that I will ask you is that irrespective of your picks to the questions above and how you make your decisions in life, do you see Honesty as the best policy? Or do you feel Honesty can be one’s undoing?

My answer to that question, it is both; it is the best policy as facing the uncomfortable truths is what paves the road for future, and it is the personal undoing as the one stating the uncomfortable truth is outcast.

For those who feel this thought is stretched please refer to lives (and death) of Galileo, Socrates, Aristotle, even Jesus. And also refer to the contribution of their uncomfortable truths to humanity

My conclusion:

Honesty is the best policy (in the long run for greater good)

Honesty can be one’s undoing (in the short run for the chronic honest)

 

 

 

From Back of My Notebook - 7

 I have not shared anything from back of my Notebook in many months. I didn’t write much back there lately. Just sharing some scribbles from there, observations mostly. I don’t know if anyone may share these observations or not. Hope you like and enjoy these nuggets of idle scribbling!!!

• 
  Technology gives us choice between a half-eaten apple vs bugs through windows and everything in between; no one really knows what is better
•  People can be so proud yet so insecure about their choices that many end up defending those choices strongly to any end
•  A lot of products use this vanity of users as their biggest marketing tool

• Those who own no responsibility for failures,  they can never have any claim on Success.
•  Those who never try are the only kind who never fails. Perfection is a myth.
•  Those who shift the ownership of failures to others are the biggest obstacle to success. Every team in business, sports or community must understand this simple equation.
  
•  To point fingers all you need is fingers, free time and no other skills. Which makes it one of the easiest things to do.
•  Success is sweetest when shared
•  Failure is friendly when learnt from
•  Teams are worthwhile when they bind through success and failure equally

• When people lend you a keen ear, your tongue should assume a higher responsibility

• Dilemma of many, “Want to leave the stress and become a monk, but still don’t have a Ferrari to sell” 

Note: If you are asking about the last one, then you have not read the book that this refers to

https://nuancesofbeing.blogspot.com/2013/03/back-of-my-notebook.html

https://nuancesofbeing.blogspot.com/2014/10/morefrom-back-of-my-notebook.html

https://nuancesofbeing.blogspot.com/2017/03/3rd-serving-from-back-of-my-notebook.html

https://nuancesofbeing.blogspot.com/2017/12/4th-serving-from-back-of-my-notebook.html

https://nuancesofbeing.blogspot.com/2018/03/a-5th-serving-from-back-of-my-notebook.html

https://nuancesofbeing.blogspot.com/2020/09/6th-page-from-back-of-my-notebook.html