Judgmental..... Really?

Many times things are not as they appear. Many times one thinks of saying something unfriendly to someone who appears to be not nice. It is always good to hold those thoughts, weigh the options and try not to say that as any bad thing said will yield nothing but bad karma. It is never easy apologizing for use of such behavior. However there is something even more difficult than that. I will share a recent experience and you decide if my feelings were justified…

Recently I had to fly for work, as I do a few times every year, but this time it was different in more ways than one. First of all I was flying in the afternoon from my home base rather than my usual morning flights.  Secondly I had only 1 hour left for my flight to take off when I reached the airport, usually I have 2 or more hours to spare (though I always feel that it is an overkill). But today I knew why it was better to be 2 hours ahead at the airport. The security lanes were full as if a good part of the world wanted to fly out of this airport today. I could have said something on the collage of humanity I could see, but to me this medley was looking threatening instead of interesting (another deviation from my usual). Like ants marching towards a piece of sweet all those people inching towards the TSA agents on the dais to get their boarding passes initialed.

I am going to miss my flight; right in the middle of having that thought I saw a ray of light. There were two sides, one with 3 TSA folks on dais and about 100 people in line and the other with 4 TSA people but around 4 times more people lined up. So there seems to be a shorter line. But as fate will have it, there was this stern looking lady (reminded me of my high school history teacher) who was deciding which way one should go. And when I told her I was in a hurry she pointed me to the side with 4 times more people.

I was annoyed and wanted to scream at her. But I didn’t, I wanted to say that she had been mean but I stopped the words from leaving my tongue and moved on. After I had moved 4-5 steps, another TSA employee stopped me and asked to examine me. She had a swab in her hand to rub on my palms and shoes. I was sure that the lady who guided me on this side had read my expression and to show her mean power had gestured this other one to check. I was really mad by now. But again decided to stay calm and accept what was happening. Honestly, I am not saint so I did say some mean things about both of them in my mind. I hoped that they realize how their being bad with people like me can really cause trouble. I hoped that they stop misusing their TSA rank. After all, their job is airport security and not gaining vicious pleasure in harassing someone like me.

In the middle of all these not so friendly thoughts about their ‘meanness’ I moved slowly with the line and reached at the end where the person on the dais checked my boarding pass, cleared me and then said, “wait, we have the x-rays backed up so stay here till those start moving again.” By the way this announcement was for every one and not just me. Now I was certain that I will miss my flight and my ill feeling for the two ladies grew even stronger. Now that I had nothing else to do so I and the Guy at the dais started talking. “You see this is an expedite lane still things at times get backed up here.”  He said. I was not able to understand what he meant by expedited lane, as I had seen at least 4 times more people in this side than the other side. I continued listening to him in disbelief, “You don’t have to go through additional security, no taking off of shoes or belts, no removing of laptop from the bags in this lane as this is our busiest hour, so we hope this helps passengers like you.” I looked at him and then at the people ahead, the security X-rays were busy (though only 2 belts) and people zipping through these at top speed. Where in the other side had 20 belts but still the wait in the Lane was more than 30 minutes on that side after the TSA agent has Okay-ed the Boarding pass.

Now I realized what the two women had meant by expedited lane. What I had seen was just the entrance and made an opinion, whereas the reality lied behind the TSA screen. I felt ashamed for my thoughts earlier and I offered my sincere apology to both the agents at the entrance. Like my anger; my apology was also only in my heart. I didn’t even utter a word to anyone. I have boarded my plane and writing this while flying. The weight of my ill thoughts about the perceived meanness from the two ladies is really big burden on my conscience. I know now that they were being nice to me. I feel like going back and thanking the lady and apologizing for how I had judged her in my mind, which of course I cannot do. So I thought I will write this as my apology. And as a reminder that many times things are not as they appear. So we should not judge. I have faith that since in the electronic era everything is connected so my apology will reach her and also my apology will at least impact one person in a similar situation and make him or her keep faith and don’t judge.

The Elephant and the Blind men... Fable Retold (final)

………As the part 1 and 2 posted last week spoke about the elephant and the blind men who encounter the elephant and the indifferent wise men who didn’t seem interested in debunking any beliefs about the elephants or instilling new ones. So the team that followed the loud voice’s opinion without reason met a sad fate and same destiny was shared by the team that followed the majority opinion (again without logic)…

And so the fable continues……

Unaware of the two sad ending teams; some children in this world were given a chance to witness the elephant. They all had the same challenges on the vision side. But like children will have it they experienced the part they were close to and drew similar inferences as their adult counterparts. However there was this small, very shy, slightly scared kid who couldn't get his hand for long on any part due to his shyness so he just moved around and ended up observing more than the other individuals. 

After the observation session they moved to a room and started to discuss. The shy one as usual was quite. But children, as you know, don’t like quite so they all decided that the shy one will go first and tell what he observed. 

The meek child, who listened a lot, spoke a little, had observed a lot and he reflected in a dreamy tone. Usually saying non-glamorous things. Things that lacked any captivating quality and were too plain to be stimulating, but they seemed to work. He couldn't speak-up, but he could talk when encouraged and he spoke for common good. 

Then the one in the group who always wanted to draw, pulled her drawing tablet and started putting a figure together with the putty that will raise the figure she was attempting to draw, so that her and others can “see” the picture by “feeling” it. So while the shy one was still speaking shyly of what he felt the others were joining in enthusiastically and filling in the details from the individual areas they had felt. And the little artist was busy modeling. 

Giggling all the way, feeling confident as they all were gaining more by Collaborating. After sometime they had a good picture of the beast for everyone to “feel” and understand. They all had contributed towards it so they all owned it. They all were proud on what they had achieved and they all were grateful to others for their contributions. The complemented each other slapped some high-fives, hugged the shy hero of the event (as he was too shy for high fives). They all came out knowing how an elephant looks and how menacing a charging elephant can be.

Moral(s) of the story: Mutual respect and Interdependence is the best way to reach the best solutions. Knowledge and charm are two mutually un-related qualities so don’t go chasing charm when knowledge is needed (or vice-versa). A team wins by collaboration (and not by blind-following the captivating personality or the majority opinion)

Part 1: http://nuancesofbeing.blogspot.com/2014/05/the-elephant-and-blind-men-fable-retold.html

Part 2: http://nuancesofbeing.blogspot.com/2014/05/the-elephant-and-blind-men-fable-retold_15.html

The Verdict (Lok-Sabha elections in India)

Finally the wait is over. The many month long spectacle that was built up to shape the new government in the World’s most populous Democracy, finally climaxed today. And as most people would like it, it did climax in a very movie like finish with the popular party sweeping the elections with a historic majority and the incumbent getting worst ever defeat since its inception. 

In many fronts this is great news. Not that I ever cheered for the team that just won but because I have always been a firm believer of democracy and people’s power. Few popular beliefs that this verdict challenged and refuted (and a few good things that happened after many years)

a)    Common belief that votes are bought or results are forced; common man has no say was refuted. This election proved once again that the people always had the say, but they didn’t use their votes in a right way. In the past they had been hiding behind the caste, religion, region, tribe, community, fear etc. And wasting a great opportunity they had; but not this time.

b)    One party got absolute majority. Without emphasizing on who they are, the fact is that people made their choice and gave a clear verdict. Giving Power to just one, not sharing it in many (as that will always cause imbalance). Oh By the way last time that happened, I was still in my elementary school and didn’t even know what that term absolute majority may mean.

c)     Regional parties didn’t see much success. That was a big relief as with more smaller and regional players coming in a national assembly could never give them any constructive power, but sure can equip them with a lot of "Nuisance Value."

I have seen many comments on social media about people seeing it as religious agenda win (stated with arrogance regarding a certain religion) but in spite of a non supporter I think those statements do not reflect what the winner party has in mind (I hope they don’t). Some others hoping for commodities to get cheaper, again I don’t think that should be hoped for. The forward looking view should be that the commodities can stay at where they should be or get dearer but the whole nation prospers and develops a robust buying power. That is the model a developed nation should be  focused on, and that is the model last 15-20 years India is working towards, with great success. India has developed as a nation in last many years and that development should continue. The new government should act as a catalyst to further strengthen and expedite that growth.

People have votes wisely and handed a very potent verdict so now with that strength this government should deliver to a record breaking success.

All the best India you can wake up happy tomorrow knowing that you have done your part well (By giving the baton to one party after many years) now it is time to anticipate the “Good days ahead” as the new PM has tweeted!!!

Jai Hind!!!

The Elephant and the Blind men... Fable Retold (part 2)

.................... Continued from where it was left in part 1

RECAP from last part.....

However in a world light years away in distance and time; there were lots of Elephants and many blind people who would go in groups of 5 or 6 or 8 to “experience” the elephant. Unfortunately the wise-men in that world were usually meek or indifferent (many a times due to the past bruises received while trying to be otherwise)

So when the 6 blind men ‘saw’ the elephant in this world the argument started and the wise man silently witnessed. So the discussion after a few verbal bouts reached to one conclusion that the elephant is like a thin rope. Unfortunately the blind man (let us call him Mr. Z for easy reference) who could only feel the tail had the loudest voice in the group. Naturally he was most active and most persistent participant in the discussion. So the other 5 initially reluctantly accepted that the elephant is like a thin rope. However; now that they had accepted it; so eventually each one of them started believing that the elephant being a thin rope is the right interpretation of the anatomy of the elephant. Initially some challenged but were quietened by Mr. Z’s charisma (or loud voice) at first and then by the others who had slowly surrendered their beliefs to the confidence in the voice of Mr. Z. So eventually for good or for bad elephant was a creature that resembles a thin rope. Everything was fine till one day they were crossing the road as a group and an elephant cut loose from circus came running towards them. The whole ground shook under the mighty feet of the huge beast and people who could see screamed and asked them to brace as the enormous pachyderm were charging on them. However; they, by now “knew” strongly that elephant is nothing but a rope so the all tried to extend their hands towards the sound of charging elephant to grab "the Rope." All were soon crushed under the monumental limbs of the beast.

Moral of the story: The one with most charisma or the loudest voice may not always be right.

Like I said earlier, this world we are talking about had many blind men and many elephants and least concerned “wise-men”

So on a different day in this world a different set of blind men were introduced to the elephant. And the people being blind were again subject to just a specific characteristic and the same debate started. There was a "Mr. Z" in this group too, but some others had heard about a group of blind men who were trampled by an elephant while they followed a Mr. Z and this Mr. Z was not too different. So they started discussing and trying to keep the out-spoken one at bay. The one who had felt the abdomen and thought the elephant to be a wall, just whispered to the one who had felt the feet, “So you think it is like a pillar and I think it is like a wall, may be it is like a fort with walls and pillars.”  “That sounds so right!” The other one complied. So they asked for a vote and decide democratically. So while the other ideas were split 1 per person, these two guys collaborated and decided that elephant is like a fort. As luck would have it after they all had developed complete confidence that elephant is like a fort; they were charged by an elephant. People with eyes screamed and asked them to run for safety as an elephant was charging towards them. But why would they run? They knew that  a "Fort" can’t walk or run; so the people with eye must have been mistaken. Alas! the fate of these was no different than the 1st group.

Moral of the story: Democratic decisions can be better than autocratic ones but still not always bring the best outcome

And again this is not the end of the story, because no story should end till everything is right, happy and festive so wait for the next installment of the story maybe tonight… 

To Be continued…………

Part 1: http://nuancesofbeing.blogspot.com/2014/05/the-elephant-and-blind-men-fable-retold.html
Part 3: http://nuancesofbeing.blogspot.com/2014/05/the-elephant-and-blind-men-fable-retold_18.html

The Elephant and the Blind men... Fable Retold (part 1)

The 6 blind men were shown an elephant. The one close to the trunk experienced Elephant to be just like a Thick branch of a tree. The one close to the ears thought that Elephant is like huge fans blowing gusts of air. The one who felt the legs claimed that the elephant is like a huge pillar. There was one who could touch the tusk and decided that elephant is much like a smooth pipe made of marble.  The one who could touch the tail was sure that the elephant is just like a thin rope and then the one standing right next to the torso understood that elephant was like the big wall of the fort……

Most of us have heard the story and know what the “wise man” did to make them understand and fit the pieces together.

However in a world far-far away and a time many decades ahead (or may be behind) there were lots of Elephants and many blind people who would go in groups of 5 or 6 or 8 to “experience” the elephant. Unfortunately the wise-men in that world were usually meek or indifferent (many a times due to the past bruises received while trying to be otherwise)

........... To Be continued

Note: This is just the prologue to the story that I want to share, next part of the fable re-told tomorrow

PART 2: http://nuancesofbeing.blogspot.com/2014/05/the-elephant-and-blind-men-fable-retold_15.html

PART 3: http://nuancesofbeing.blogspot.com/2014/05/the-elephant-and-blind-men-fable-retold_18.html

बड़े की तुलना

मारने से बचाने वाला  हमेशा बड़ा होता है। 

ऐसा कई बार सुना है, और सच भी है; लकिन एक हि तुलना क्यूँ और भी तो ऐसी परिस्तिथियाँ हैं जिन में बहुत साफ़ दीखता है कि कौन बढ़ा है. ऐसी ही कुछ तुलनाये जोड़ के लिख रहा हुँ । और आखिरी कुछ पंक्तिया थोड़ा अधिक सोच के लिखी है। शायद अच्छी लगें ॥ 

मारने से बचाने वाला 

हमेशा बड़ा होता है। 

रेंगने वाले से दौड़ने वाला 

तोड़ने वाले से जोड़ने वाला 

हमेशा बड़ा होता है 

छीनने वाले से दिलाने वाला 

मांगने वाले से खिलाने वाला 

हमेशा बड़ा होता है 

रुलाने वाले से हँसाने वाला 

सब में बाँट के खाने वाला 

हमेशा बड़ा होता है 

डराने वाले से हिम्मत बढ़ाने वाला 

मझधार से किनारे तक लाने वाला 

हमेशा बड़ा होता है 

रूठ जाये हम भी सोचा कुछ बार मगर 

रोक लिया खुद को, कि थी हमको यह ख़बर 

रूठने वाले लाख खुद को बड़ा माने;   

पर रूठने वाले से मनाने वाला 

हमेशा बड़ा होता है |