That was a crazier than usual day at work. Nothing seemed
to be running right. The results were not as expected and we couldn’t see any
problem with our process or with the tools, so everyone was baffled and
frantically looking for a reason at the least; if not a solution. Everyone was
in a bad mood as these results were a product of 2 days and 2 nights of work by
the whole team. The frustration was obvious and the debates were budding into
small arguments with in the team.
Not being able to take it anymore and having no intention
to be unpleasant with the people who have been sacrificing their personal life
for many weeks on this task, I stepped out of the room. Wandered in the
corridors to realize that there was no one else in the office; “of course no
one will be here as today is Sunday; and the weekend off for most of the people”
my inner self sarcastically reminded me.
I went to the break room and mixed hot chocolate with some mint tea and
the result was unbelievably refreshing. I
went back to the room smiling after a few sips of the warm concoction and
announced, “Guys let us have a Mint-Chocolate break.” And then I brewed the mix
for all of them. The tension dissolved from the air in a few minutes after that
step and the whole room was alive, more cheerful and appeared a much better
place than it had been a few minutes before.
What was that? I couldn’t understand what happened there,
but that change in the atmosphere of that room was so obvious that I couldn’t
shake it off my mind. In that thought I reached home later that evening, of
course we had still not found a solution or even a reason for the problem at
work. My wife was obviously upset as she
had to manage the home and the kids all by herself on the weekend. Usually I
will be angry when she is upset on a day like that and my plea will be, “Hey! I
have been working and not partying so why are you upset?” but that day was
different. I didn’t get upset at her; I just hugged her thanked her for
managing kids and chores all by herself and asked her what she wanted to eat; a
genuine offer to cook dinner of her liking. Next moment she was in kitchen with
me chopping vegetables (a task that I know she never likes). So again there was
a moment of the thickness in the air dissolving because of a small gesture.
Starting next day if I try to make the mint-chocolate
drink religiously for my team or offer to work in kitchen with my wife; it will
not have the same effect. I have been thinking of those two examples and many
more similar instances when something is done just to break the monotonous gloom
and it results in a wonderful outcome; as if a magic wand has moved the clouds
away and made the Sun shine brighter.
I thought about this and found one thing common; my
actions were driven out of genuine appreciation and affection, they were
unplanned (random) and there was no outcome that I was targeting. So I started
calling these actions, “Random acts of affection.” And I am seeing a lot value
in these random acts (I have tried a lot of these and always have gained one
thing if not many, and that one thing is contentment combined with happiness.
Why don’t you try some of it and experience the benefits
first hand and tell me if it works for you.
This can be for a coworker, for your kids, for your
parents, your spouse, friends and almost anyone. And in my experience almost
always there are results that are way too positive and totally unexpected.
Just few things to note about “Random Acts
of Affection”
ONE-Randomness
is the key- These should be Random (even when you plan something, the recipient
should not be aware that you are doing it and there should be no obvious reason
to do it)
TWO-Honesty
is the best policy- Be genuine, be honest in what you say or do. A Fake act to
just please someone is always going to backfire
THREE-Heart
over Mind- Do not put too much logic in to preparation or delivery; listen to
your heart and act on it.
FOUR-
Creativity – Be creative especially on the things that you do for your closest
friends and first family as repetition would be monotonous and also will take
the beauty of Randomness out.
FIVE-It
begins at home- If you don’t like it, then don’t do it. It should make you
genuinely happy and when it does that, it will make the recipient’s day.
SIX-Don’t
expect 3rd law- Newton’s 3rd Law of motion loosely stated
here “Every action has a reaction” should not the expected outcome. The only
real gain (if at all you have to look for a gain here) is the happiness and
calm these acts bring to you. If you are expecting something in return then you
are setting yourself for a failure and entrapping yourself in the vicious
‘cause and effect’ cycle that sways the happiness away.
What are you waiting for go try it!!!!
Some friendly help for the first timers (A
list of Random Acts of Affection)
·
Tell your wife/husband how
pretty/handsome she/he looks
·
Cook your spouse’s favorite
dinner
·
Send email/text with a note of
affection to your spouse, parents, siblings
·
Help (unasked) on unexpected
things (Have you tried polishing shoes for your wife, kids, parents when they
didn’t ask or didn’t know that you were doing that? Or ironing someone’s cloths
for work proactively; just out of affection?)
·
Get candies for your coworkers
and friends
·
Give water/juice/soft-drinks to
the landscaping guys working in your community on a hot summer afternoon.
·
Call your parents (if they are
away) to tell them how much you love/miss them
·
Hug your kids/parents/siblings/spouse
·
Say “I love you” to your
spouse, siblings, kids, parents, friends even when the other is acting angry/
unreasonable / acting odd
·
Say “I will be there; no matter
what” to your spouse, siblings, kin, kids, parents, friends even when they are
facing criticism/are unsure of results/facing an exam/not appreciated for their
work (and be there for them)
·
Say “I know how you feel” when
someone in family or work or friends is hitting a low and not only say it feel
it too. Just be there
·
Show that you believe in
someone even when they are unsure about themselves
Send me what you tried and also share your experience.
Again! What are you waiting for? Go try some random acts
of affection!!!!
