Defining Being

As you may know me.... I try to pen my feelings, with more honesty than with language and grammar. While reading the posts below you may experience what compelled me to write these.
While I was thinking of giving a name to my Blog; this came to me; "Nuances of Being"
Being "Me" is the best that I am at and hope that will show in the posts below

And Thanks for reading

~Nikhil




Thursday, March 31, 2022

Caterpillar Story

He was moving slowly from one end of the leaf to the other, consuming the green goodness while he moved. Life seemed so good. He was happy at the food at his disposal, the tree had an unlimited supply of leaves. The sun filtering through the leaves was warming his back and the breeze was cradling him on the leaf to a gentle slumber. Life indeed is good he felt.

Few days of good life, and he grew significantly in size, and started feeling somewhat uneasy on the move and something was happening to his body. The leaves didn’t taste as good the crawl from one end to another appeared monotonous. He wanted to run faster, but he had to limit himself to slow crawl. Many leaves that he had enjoyed around him were looking ugly due to the large holes where he had eaten them.

While he was trying to walk faster, during those days he started developing this webby layer around him. As if a giant spider is trying to consume him in its woven prison. The layer consumed him very fast, and he was imprisoned. He wanted to break free, but he could not. He felt lost, suffocated, missing the glimpse of Sun light and the green of the leaves. He couldn’t even feel the breeze on his back anymore because he was encased in the thick shell that was all around him. I need to break free. He cried. I need some help; please someone; free me from this menacing prison. He screamed and he was sure that he was heard, but there was no help anywhere. He was trying to push himself out of the shell that has encased him.

Every waking hour he will push the shell and no avail, he will get tired and sleep and then wake up only to push again. He could feel his tiny feet getting stretched due to continuous pushing. His back was hurting and feeling funny with all the scratching and pushing against the walls. He was feeling certain that it is cruel joke that fate has played on him, and he is going to die of suffocation in this shell that surrounds him. He couldn’t count how long ago this confinement and torture had started for him. He did miss the days of freedom crawling over lush green leaves and nibbling on them to feed himself. He did miss the light and the air.

Then one day when he had given up all hope, the prison walls moved. His push and his prayers had cracked a small side of the wall. He started hitting hard with his stretched legs while pushing with his, now so soft back. The shell walls finally seemed to be giving way to his effort. He kept on pushing with all his might. Please help me he screamed to quicken the process. He knew there were a few outside that shell who could help him in his misery, but no one came to his rescue. He painfully learnt that he was all by himself to push through. He cried and he got angry but didn’t stop pushing, and then the shell cracked open fully, he wanted to crawl out. But he learnt that he was not a caterpillar anymore to crawl. He was a butterfly with agile legs and beautiful wings. He could fly now. Fly to any tree and any flower he wished. The sun felt warmer and the breeze more pleasant than ever.

The torture of the caterpillar in confinement was only to make him a beautiful butterfly, to totally transform him to his higher self.

No caterpillar in confinement and being suffocated should remember this story and know that the confinement is just for the sake of transformation. Because if someone remembers and stop pushing and trying to be free of that confinement then the transformation into butterfly will never happen.

Such is the nature. Such is the will of God.

And this is not just the story of a caterpillar.

  

Monday, March 28, 2022

उलझी पतंग

 This past weekend I went with my kids for a kite flying festival. While we were enjoying the kites that floated in the air, I just saw some unfortunate ones stuck in the trees. Felt like they needed someone to tell their story and I wrote the lines below. As all kites are made with the purpose to fly and not to be stuck. Hope you like the thought…..


है पतंग, मांझे से बंध कर
उड़ने को ही निकली थी
बादल पंछी खुली हवा को
छूने को ही निकली थी

पर जब कहीं झोंके से टकरा 
पेड़ के काँटों में उलझी तो
उड़ने के सपने टूट गए हैँ 
उस सच को जब समझी तो
हसरत से आसमां को देख
लब से एक सिसकी निकली तो
मांझे ने भी सुनी नहीं

उड़ती पतंगे आसमां में
आठखेलिया करती रही
उलझी पतंग काँटों में से
सिसकियाँ भरती रही
आपस में एक दूसरे की
बात भी ना सुन पाई
दोनों में दुरी का होना
किस्मत का ही खेल हुआ
कौन गलत तो कौन सही
यह मुद्दा ही बे मेल हुआ

किस्मत बदलेंगी तो हवा
थोड़ा रुख बदल भी लेगी
काँटों में उलझी डोरी
फिर एक बार  सुलझ भी लेगी
तब सपने के आसमां को 
एक छलांग में छू लेना
आज हो उलझी ले, कल उड़ना
उड़ के बादल तो सेहला देना
और अपनी उड़ती सखियों  के
पास जा के बस मुस्का देना
सांझे सपने की साँझ को
फिर एक बार जगा भी देना
और उड़ना खुले गगन में
वही  तुम्हारा गणतंव्य हैँ 


Thursday, March 24, 2022

Slow cooked Delicacy , is it worth?


 This is a borrowed thought. I was discussing with my brother some topics and he gave this analogy of slow cooked food in relation to patience. I have tried to take the cue and build on that thought along with a question. 

Please read and let me know if you ever ponder upon such questions? And if yes then what is your answer?

You are hungry and want to eat something nice quickly. But one of your parents is cooking something. Be patient they say, this is a recipe you will love when ready, but you have to wait. How long? You ask impatiently.

As long as it takes is the answer you hear.

And then after all the waiting and getting upset and hunger and impatience increasing, the Dish is served in a platter for you. It looks great and it smells great, you take a bite, and it tastes like a bite of heaven. You look at your parent who served you the Dish and do a nod of gratitude. The parent nods back with a smile. posing an unsaid question. So, it was worth the wait, right? You respond using a smile on your face, that says yes.

 Life is like that, sometimes. You are in a fix and need a solution, but almighty is preparing that perfect solution for you. You get impatient and edgy. Trying to come to terms with the reason for the wait and prolonging of the pain. 

You try some simple 'snacks" to help your hunger which are harshly

snatched away from your hands, even the nuts that you had saved and stashed in your coat pockets are taken away from you. And when you feel almost certain that there might be nothing for you, an awesome solution is delivered, from almost nowhere. And you look up, nod a thanks to God. An acknowledging smile is felt in your heart.

 I’ve seen this happen to me sometimes and also to people around me so many times.

 But every time you are impatient of hunger and waiting for your parents to finish the slow cooked delicacy for you, the wait is never easy. On such days few thoughts cross mind,

  • What if one loses appetite while waiting for the dish to be ready?
  • What if the parent gets unhappy with persistent asking and stops cooking and let you stay hungry?
  • What if one is completely consumed by hunger and perishes before the slow cooked dish is even ready?

 I don’t know the answer, but I do know the feeling. Also, I know the pain of anticipation while waiting. And I always tell that a parent or almighty will never fail their children, will they?

 And that hope sustains everything. 

 And that anticipation of the miracle is what keeps you, isn't it?


Sunday, February 27, 2022

From Back of My Notebook - 8

 

Many months since I last looked at the back of my notebook, and loosely scribbled items when I sew them together, it gave me the below thoughts on success and failure, see if you agree and share what you think…


On Failure

·         Failure is a lonely place

·         Still, you are not alone, your shame stays with you in failure

·         Invite courage to that spot and you can start moving away from failure

·         Do leave the failure there when you move, else it will keep on haunting you

·         But do remember to carry the lesson with you when you move

·         Lesson may be hidden somewhere so you will need to look for it with keen eye

 

On Success

·         Success attracts company

·         Still, you may be lonely as arrogance may born with success 

·         Invite humility there and you can start being not lonely in success

·         Throw the arrogance away when you start embracing humility, it may try to sneak back in

·         Do remember to carry grace with you along with success and humility

·         Grace combined with Success and Humility makes a great team



Previously posted Notes form back of my notebook Below

https://nuancesofbeing.blogspot.com/2013/03/back-of-my-notebook.html

https://nuancesofbeing.blogspot.com/2014/10/morefrom-back-of-my-notebook.html

https://nuancesofbeing.blogspot.com/2017/03/3rd-serving-from-back-of-my-notebook.html

https://nuancesofbeing.blogspot.com/2017/12/4th-serving-from-back-of-my-notebook.html

https://nuancesofbeing.blogspot.com/2018/03/a-5th-serving-from-back-of-my-notebook.html

https://nuancesofbeing.blogspot.com/2020/09/6th-page-from-back-of-my-notebook.html

https://nuancesofbeing.blogspot.com/2021/09/from-back-of-my-notebook-7.html

Friday, January 21, 2022

तय है

बचपन से कई बार सुना है  "चिंता ताकि कीजिये, जो अनहोनी होय " बात अच्छी लगती थी, पर एक बात समझ नहीं आती, कि किस बात को अनहोनी कहें | तो मैंने सोचा क्यों ना एक फहरिस्त बनाये उन बातों की जो अनहोनी नहीं हैँ | बातें जो हमेशा होती है, बातें जो तय हैँ. आप भी सोचिये और बताईये कितनी ऐसी बातें हैँ जो आपकी नज़र में तय हैँ | फिर उनको होनी मान कर उनपे चिंता छोड़ देंगे | तो क्या तय है|



तय है 

इस मौसम का जाना तय है
उस मौसम का आना तय है
दुःख -सुख घूमें एक पहिये पे 
इक आना दूजा जाना तय है

सहरा की रेत का जलना तय है
दरिया की रेत का भीगना तय है
बुरा हो या बहुत ही बढ़िया
वक़्त का आखिर बीतना तय है

क्यों डरना हर एक कदम पे
कुछ रस्तोँ पे लड़खड़ना तय है
फितरत से है हसना या रोना (क्यों की)
गम और ख़ुशी तो आना-जाना तय है

लकीरों मेँ जो लिखा है होगा
फिर क्यों रोना गिड़गिड़ाना
पर हिम्मत से जो डटे रहें तो
लकीरें भी बदल जाना तय है

मौसम जाना आना तय है
वक़्त बदलते जाना तय है
दुःख सुख चलते रहना तय है 
लकीरें बदल भी जाना तय है 

और हाँ ,

उनका  बात बात पे रूठना और 
मेरा बातों बातों में मानना तय है



Thursday, January 13, 2022

Team - What does it mean

TEAM as an Acronym

T  -    Trust

E -     Enthusiasm / Energy/ Enjoyment/ Enablement/ Empathy

A -    Attitude/Action/ Ability/Accountability/ Adaptability

M -   Meaningful/ Memories/ Magic/ Marvel/ Magnificent

Just a fun thing that I have done so many times since my school days. Pick a word and try to build it as an Acronym. Sometimes the results and good and sometimes awesome. However, a very few times the results are intriguing, even enlightening.

This is one of those Acronyms.

When I tried to find words starting with the letters in TEAM, I could find so many starting with E, A and M to make it a meaningful acronym. 

However, without the right T you can not have the TEAM and the only right T in team is TRUST, nothing else.

TEAM Starts with TRUST

 





Saturday, January 1, 2022

Welcome 2022

 Another page rolled, another day started, another year has begun. Last many years, I welcomed with Open arms and a few promises to myself. I am never able to keep all promises that I enlist at the start of the year; however, each one of those is worthy of keeping. So if I am able to keep myself honest to even a few of those each year, that is a step in the right direction. So here we are with another recap and another list of new or revised promises

 2021 has been a 365 days long roller coaster. With ups and downs, slow yet labored ascend and steep yet sudden falls, triumphs and heartbreaks and so on. We humans have never been as connected in experience before 2021. So, in some way it has been a unifying year.

The year meant a lot for the world. The big fear of Covid continued to shadow our minds, our rituals, our festivals, and our life. Slowly but surely, we are fighting back, controlling the spread, getting vaccinated and hopefully soon getting a medicinal cure for the disease. 

Amid the scares of delta, delta plus and omicron variants the fight back with vaccines that rolled out throughout the world this year continued to hold the fort strong for the man kind in the battle of mankind vs virus. We are scared; no doubt, but we are not defeated, and we will not be defeated. We are a resilient race.

The World had few major sporting events this year, including the Olympics and Cricket world cup. Both managed and completed with right cautions and restrictions. Both provide much needed relief to the people globally in the form of their favorite sports. Our ability to adapt and adjust was on display along with the skills of competing athletes.  While the players had to adjust to empty stadiums and recorded claps and cheers; the viewers had to adjust to watching and cheering from the safety of their living rooms. We adjusted and adapted but didn’t give up on our favorite sports. We are a resilient race

Schools and business that had seen closures and operational interruptions through out 2020, and part of 2021 started opening with right cautions and adjustments to get back life to normal while still controlling the spread. The school going children, right from early elementary school showed great discipline in wearing masks and exercising caution with no complaints. It was surprisingly pleasing. The adaptability is not a taught trait, but something coded in genes for the entire human race. Afterall we are a resilient race. 

Also, a lot happened on personal front. I made my shortest ever trip to India, after the longest ever gap between the trips. It started a call from my cousin, whom I have not spoken with in more than 10 years. (We both were so busy with our daily lives that important things were forgotten) Her son was getting married in fall and she asked if I could come. I knew I had to go; her call had filled my mind with a million memories from our shared childhood. I met my parents, my brother, sister-in-law and most of my maternal cousins after so many
years. Teasing, laughing, dancing, sharing food, sharing jokes, and above all building a million new memories. With a heart filled with gratitude to almighty for the opportunity and my cousins, nephews and nieces who made it worthwhile with their presence; I returned.

I can write on and on for 2021, but this is about 2022 which started today, so I will welcome 2022 with hope for healing. Some learnings and promises to carry with me in the new year (some repetition from past years, but worthwhile to reaffirm)

Value life – Life is not just breathing and eating. Life is the experience, the togetherness, the warmth that comes with sharing. Value Life and value everything that life brings.

Be grateful – Gratitude is one thing that will never go out of fashion. I look around, there is so much to be grateful for. Right from the 1st breath I take as I wake up in the morning to each morsel I eat to each email, text, call, I get or send, for my family and friends, for the roof above my head, for the technology I enjoy, for the work and the paycheck, for the health and so much more. I didn’t buy or own any of that. All this is given so all I can do is stay in gratitude for all this and more.

Value relations– Relations make the human experience unique. Many time in past years I have felt hurt or upset at what some one said or did. I repeat my commitment to not react and value relationship above any instantaneous reactions. Some actions can hurt but the relations heal. See keeping the health of relation above all other feelings is worthwhile.

Appreciate more – It is easy to find reasons to appreciate if one watches carefully with a hope to catch something good. I will continue to look for reasons to appreciate. I also will look keenly for moments and actions to appreciate.

No Grudges – Keeping grudges is easy but damaging in long run. So, I will not keep any grudges. I will speak and ask to have better understanding of “behavior blind Spots*” rather than keeping a grudge.

Stay Healthy- Health is wealth, as all of us know. Good health is a blessing. I make commitment to actions leading to maintaining good health and will try to suggest same to everyone around.

Celebrate – Celebrate life and celebrate moments frequently. Life is gift and so is each moment; enjoy it to the fullest

Pray always – Prayer is the most potent way to grow, heal, support and ascend. So keep praying. Not any particular/ religious prayers; my prayer is a dialogue between my heart and the nature almighty. Just share what I liked, what hurt me, what I want to change and what I want to continue, simple statements and then accept the answers received. Be grateful for those answers and continue to pray.

I will wrap this up here with a warm welcome to 2022. A year where we will have to overcome the fear of Covid, live life and continue with our resilience. Afterall we are a Resilient race.

DON’T FORGET TO CELEBRATE !!!

WELCOME 2022



 *behavior blind Spots reference from my recent post https://nuancesofbeing.blogspot.com/2021/12/unwet-fish.html