Then and Now

Somewhat sleepy and tired; he stepped out of the airplane. It was daylight and he was sleepy. That is what being in the other side of the world will do to you, the mind suggested. He was jetlagged, a term that he had heard but never experienced before. As he stepped out of the jetway he just thought that it was his first step on a land outside his birth country. He was in his 20s. Had lived in hostel many years and travelled for work, but this thought of being in a new country just overwhelmed his mind with so many emotions. Tired, yet excited; hopeful, yet worried; happy and homesick all at once. He knew something has changed

I am not going to stay here forever. Just a short while, will live and learn and explore for a couple of years before I return to where the roots are, he thought silently in his heart while slowly crawling through the long immigration line.

After some paperwork and sleepy answers to immigration officer he moved through customs to main terminal.
In the main terminal, there was a smartly dressed fellow in a black suit, much shorter than himself, carrying a board with his name on it. Yes that will be me; he gestured with a smile and the guy with board  (later he learnt was named Ronnie) started leading him through the aisles and parking lot to the shining black Lincoln towncar. This was his ride arranged by the company he was going to join in a couple of days. Then the car started rolling on roads that he has never seen, places he has never been and feelings he had never had.

Snow on the side of the roads, cold air gently moving the pine trees on the next to the road. This country is so different for where he had come from yet so similar, he thought as the car rolled towards his apartment almost 12 miles east of the airport.

All that feels like a different life time now. That was me 20 years ago; today 3/3/2001.

Difficult to think that was me, I don't even look like him.

A lot happened in last 20 years, most of it I had never thought of that day, 20 years ago. Still it feels a very simple life as is standing here today.

I can count a few things during this period

·        A lot of friendship -Earned 

·        A lot of new people -Learned 

·      A lot of new places- Experienced

·      Some success along the way - Celebrated 

·       Some failures along the way - Coached

Lost hair and youthful looks of yesteryears and lost hair (had to say that again)

Less hair means more experience as you may hear me say (won’t tell if that is true; you may see for yourself)

20 years and I can tell myself again that all the stress and worries are useless, as life changes daily

Or what changes everyday is called Life

 

हज़ार बातें

Some days a thousand thoughts will sprout in mind, and they all want them to be heard, at the same time. Little they know that all at the same time make noise and not any sense. But enjoying their presence through the lines below

चहलकदमी करती रही हज़ार बातें ज़हन में 

उनके कदमों की आहट  ने रात सोने न दिया 

परेशां दिन, परेशां शाम परेशां रात भर रहे  पर 

तुम परेशां  न हो जाओ इस ख्याल ने रोने न दिया 

रोज़ चाहा कि हम कुछ अलग सा कर जाये मगर 

कभी खुद ने , कभी हालत ने यह होने न दिया 

The Influencers

The below is an experience as best I can remember. Recently while watching a show on TV, a mention of dream vs vision was there are I felt this fit better in the vision category than dream, so I thought I will write this down and share with you. Share your thoughts in comments below if you are able to make something out of this.

 

Why are they there at the end of crowd? I can see them all but likely as they are engulfed in a haze of some sort. And why they don't mingle in the crowd? Why they are not talking? I felt myself asking these questions.

Do you see and hear them? The voice asked. Of course, I see them although like I said, they seem hazy at best. Also, now that you asked, I think I do hear them but not sure what they are saying. 

If you could hear them then why did you question that they were not talking? The voice teased. Oh okay, I was wrong but seem like all others in the crowd are oblivious of their presence. Am I right?

You are right no one knows they are there because they are Not. The voice said calmly. What do You mean that they are not there? I see them there. I said, feeling somewhat uneasy. The voice again very calmly replied, I never said anything about their where about. I just said that they are not. Don’t mean if they are there or here or anywhere. All I said was that they are not. Because they are not. At least not in any form that you can define or understand at your present level.

I felt too confused to ask what the voice meant by "They are Not" what are they 'not'. They are not as in they have no existence. 

They are 7 in number if you count and in the realm that we are speaking of, they are called what simply said in your language, the influencers.  I counted and there were indeed 7 of them. The 7 influencers who were Not.

The soul, voice continued, can move in many ways. But with the kind of soul you have, best way is that the soul to know the difference between spirit and material. The soul can then choose being spiritual instead of being bounded by bodily identity. But that can be a confusing process for some. These 7 are there to help one in that process. Simply communicate with a goal to help and influence. All you will need is to accept them fully in your mind and you will see and hear them with more clarity.

Are you speaking this for me to gain some higher knowledge or are you making a morbid suggestion? I asked. There was no answer. The voice stayed silent and I felt the burden of knowing the answer myself without the help of voice or the influencers.

I was feeling confused and getting an eerie feeling. The influencers all were looking at me, not saying anything anymore, just observing.

Strange, the voice said, you seem to be getting afraid. Well may be yes, I wanted to say, but I did not. The voice heard me still.

We will have to stop, in that case. The voice continued. As if talking to me and the influencers at the same time. They all seemed to start fading away. As if moving farther away from the crowd. None of them seemingly turned their face away from me. And their eyes kept the gaze on my face even after they had faded away completely. 

That is strange, I am not sure if I said that or if it was the voice. But then the voice continued, you should have been ready, but your confusion is strange. 

I am surprised you feel this way I responded. Who would not be surprised and question such an encounter? I don't even know who or what they were (or were “not” like you stated) so how could have I not felt strange in accepting them or speaking with them. All I know that were just some hazy silhouettes at a distance that I couldn't even properly see. How can one accept something that vague.

The voice responded, Yes strange that you questioned them because you couldn't see them properly, but you have not even asked or thought once about me, you are listening and agreeing even when you have not seen or physically felt me. You just accepted. Strange isn't it?

I know the voice was right. Who it was? Where was it? What and why? A million other questions flooded my mind. But I Couldn’t ask any, I knew the voice was not there to respond. I looked around. It was 4AM in the clock. I was alone in the room and sweating and felt as if had returned from a trip. A trip to the place where I had heard the voice and saw the influencers along with a large crowd. I didn't remember even 1 face from the crowd, but I do remember the place clearly. Even I could feel the salty moisture on my tongue and nostrils from that gazebo near the sea.

I knew I have been there. I knew the encounter was over. I knew I missed a chance. I was feeling afraid, not because of the encounter but because I may never have it again. I decided to keep my ears tuned to catch the voice when it contacts me again. I don't remember exactly how long it took for me to go back to sleep. 

The encounter was surreal, yet it was not a dream. I am not sure what could have been right course of action. Listen to the influencers or be confused like I did. I hope something prepares me better should I be there again ever in my life.

A few days later I had another one, but that time characters were different and the acts more dominating than a discussion. That one truly creeped me out . And hence I will not share till I get a better handle of what that one was.

 

Welcome 2021

 12 months ago, when 2020 started, and we welcomed the year with open arms, I remember having some promises and some excitement shared at that time before welcoming it with “2020 here we are, let us make it memorable.”

And Memorable the year had been, although not for the best reasons. On all fronts this has been a never before year for most of humanity. Even those who have seen Wars and Famine and other calamities would have felt different this year. In short so many things went wrong this year on small and big level.

The one big threat that whole humanity faced in 2020 (and continues to face) is Covid-19. Pandemics have happened in the past, but so many lifetimes ago that we never could fathom that a microscopic virus will make all of us lock ourselves in the homes and veil our faces behind masks. But it did happen in 2020 and not only that, Tens of millions infected and millions lost their life sadly many of them in
isolation, with no loved one around. On a brighter note, millions rose to the need as doctors, nurses, emergency workers, teachers and many more to help. The war on virus still is on and the virus still as menacing (supported by ignorance in many cases). Let us start 2021 with the faith that there is light at the end of the tunnel even if we may not be able to see that light today.

The virus didn’t only hit health and lives but also damaged families, businesses, employment as unavoidable collateral damage. Once again many rose to soften the blow on the worst hit. The stories of generosity and humanity are as commonplace as the terror of virus. 2020 in some way restored our faith in the strength that humanity offers. 2021 will remain the year to build on that strength.

In addition to the pandemic and the related damages, 2020 also offered worst climate anomalies, like worst hurricane season on record, worst wildfires and so on. A reminder that humans are wrong, our actions are deteriorating the climate drastically. Urging us to act and before acting take responsibility. We know the problem; however, we keep on ignoring; but we must own it and solve it. 2021 will need that pledge to be reassured

2020 shook Beirut with a massive explosion. What caused that had human ignorance
and procrastination as the core reason. While Lebanon builds it back, let us not forget that explosion and why it is important for us Humans to be more responsible and more responsive to threats that our ignorance may be causing. Prayers for those who lost home or family or work due to that explosion and hope your lives resurrect in 2021.

My birth country and my new home both continue to see political divide widening. 2020 saw that divide really getting to massive proportions. Intolerance should not be what defines us as humans. Know this Corona Virus has shown us all that an external enemy will not see our nationality, religion, color, ethnicity, political belief or any other factor we have been dividing us for. Even a microorganism as virus sees all of us humans as one. Can we not pledge in 2021 to be at least better than that nasty virus and start being united? Bridge the gaps and don’t make the walls. Don’t just try to be right, try to be good. Remember “Being Good is Right.” Being Good is Being Human. Isn’t that what our scriptures tell us, irrespective of the faith we follow?

On a personal side, I experienced something in early 2020 which made me feel how vulnerable life has been. One small moment of a sickness and 10 seconds of time when the world could have changed, and thankfully it did not. Few of you know what I am talking about, but only I and my soulmate know how those 10 seconds felt. I am writing this more than 10 months after those 10 seconds. I don’t think I will ever forget that. So 2021; I renew my commitment to waste no moment in useless things like anger, worry, stress, hate, jealousy (worry and occasional anger do take me off track from time to time but I am working on minimizing their frequency and duration each time)

I still am working on my promises from last few years but will sure add a few this year

• Value Life – It is a gift and should be honored
• Value Humanity – It is what define us
• Be Grateful – Nothing is granted, every breath is a gift and so stay grateful 
• Be Strong – The world will need rebuilding , so strength is a needed trait now
• Be Humble – Strength without humility is ego. So, stay humble in your strength
• Pray – WE ALL NEED IT

Let us welcome 2021 with open arms and open minds. Let 2021 be the year of Healing. Let us all commit to ascend to a higher version of ourselves. A version that is at peace with what is and ready to share what have and offer to heal as needed. 2021 hope we live you with grace and remember you always as a year that healed our hearts, our minds and reduced our greed, our pettiness, our pain and on the whole re-defined us as Human. Let 2021 be the year of the Human Being Re-committing to be Human again

यह बाग़ है !

A Poem addressed to my younger self, I wish I had this thought when I was in my late teens or early twenties. I hope for those in that age now this may help to channel some thoughts.... And for those who are same age as I am or older, this may help reflect back on some times. Let me know through your comments if I am able to make any sense with this. 

यह बाग़ है !

वोह फूल है 

नाज़ुक, नज़ाकत से भरा 

है रंग और खुशबू 

जिस से बाग़ सारा झूमता 

हवा में लहरा रहा, हो जैसे 

कोई रानी महल में 

वोह काँटा है 

सख्त, ताक़त से भरा 

है तलवार सी धार लिए 

जिस धार से हर छूने वाला डर रहा 

सिपाही सा तैनात 

रानी की हिफाज़त मैं  खड़ा 

मैं बीज हूँ 

न रंग है, न ताक़त ही 

मैल से सना हुआ 

मिट्टी पे हूँ पड़ा 

जैसे कोई रोज़ मज़दूर 

अपने पसीने में नहा 

खुद में ही तृस्कृत हो रहा 

मैं पेड़ हूँ 

हैं फूल भी और कांटे भी 

मेरी ही शरण में पल रहे 

पँछी मुझ पे ही अपने 

घोंसले बना कर रह रहे 

थके को छाँव देता हूँ मैं 

भूखे को फल भी मैं ही दे रहा 

मुझे जानते जो वह समझते 

सब को जीवन भी मैं दे रहा 

मैं पेड़ हूँ जिस के जतन से 

बाग़ सारा जी रहा 

मैं बीज था 

जो तृस्कृत हो, मिट्टी में समां गया 

घुटन थी मुझे दबा रही, मैं घुटन को खा गया 

तम , तपिश, शिशिर मिले 

पर मैं सब कुछ सह  गया 

पर दर्द से फिर भी टूटने लगा वहां 

टूट के बिखरा नहीं, मैं वहीँ  डटा रहा 

फिर टूटे बीज से ही

जीवन नया अंकुरित हुआ 

मैं वही बीज था जो 

दब के भी हारा नहीं (और आज )

मैं पेड़ हूँ जिसकी वजह से 

बाग़ सारा जी रहा 

Responsibility; One Way Forward

 

Stephen Covey

Look at the word responsibility— “response-ability”—the ability to choose your response. Highly proactive people recognize that responsibility. They do not blame circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for their behavior. Their behavior is a product of their own conscious choice, based on values, rather than a product of their conditions, based on feeling.

Viktor E. Frankl

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

The reason I am starting with these 2 quotes is that the essence of these 2 quotes have been the beacon for me in many circumstances in life, ever since I had first read them. I don’t claim that I have always used the guidance in the right way and always followed the path that these beacons had lighted for me, on the contrary, more often I had missed following them. But any time I did follow these; they have never failed to guide to me a better place. A place that made me comfortable, made me earn success, appreciation and sometimes to places and moments that I could carry as pride for future.

But why these become important today? Why Am I sharing these?

We all are going through many things that we have not faced in the past. Not only us, but people also around us; most nations; almost whole humanity is facing these things as a first time ever. And so, there is no play book.  Coronavirus has pushed us to live against our very nature. Remember, “Man is a social animal” so Social distancing is not a concept that comes easy to us humans.

This pushes us to first and most important choice, do we want to follow our human instinct and continue being socially interacting beings or follow what scientist tell us and exercise social distancing? The virus has thrown this “Stimulus” on us, and it is our time to decide our Response. Our response can be seeing mask as a forced issue or as our moral ownership towards ourselves and everyone around us. (

A friend of mine asked, “for how long should we wear the masks?” and I said, “How long do you wear warm clothes?” ; As long as the cold weather lasts, was his answer and I smiled; to your masks question; the corresponding answer is as long as the coronavirus lasts.)  Social distancing can be seen as a current necessity or as a forced behavior against our human nature. But remember, the responsibility is not just about the decision we make, it is about the impact that decision will have for us and all of those who are around us.

Weather anomalies

, another major situation that we see. Many of us believe that irresponsibility of human race has caused a lot harm to environment, causing ozone depletion, global warming and root cause of most (if not all) weather anomalies, from hurricanes, to extreme temperatures to Wild fires an so on. Stimulus is very clear here; since our actions are causing the harm to climate so are, we ready to do anything about it? Possible Response, “Let us ignore climate change concept” or “Let us own this change as our doing and take steps in our power to minimize our own damaging impact on climate.” Enough individuals following the response to proactively heal the climate can lead to a positive change. And that starts with just One. Are we taking that responsibility to be that One. 1^st in our house? 1^st in our family? 1^st in our community? You be the 1^st and others will follow. No matter if you are being the 1^st to ignore or the 1^st to proactively heal.

For those of us who are in the United States of America. There is another situation. The elections are just over, and the emotions are high. Racial differences, political differences, Left-Right divide, and so much more. “Stimulus” the divide at all levels. Possible Responses, “I shall ignore” ; “I shall support my belief system even more strongly”; “I shall open my mind and my arms to the other side and try to bridge the gap”

I will not say more on the situation, but I feel that The Response chosen by us will decide the nation and the world, we handover to our next generation.

There is my thought on the Response-Ability and how I see it . Let us all chose what we think is right. Remember our choice will define the world of future.

 Closing with another quote that I have heard many times, not sure of the source; “ It is Good to be Right; but it is Right to be Good”

ज़माने बीत गए

 I recently met a friend after many days and couldn’t even shake hands, Covid-19 precautions. Then we discussed about work and friends and family and what we have stopped doing due to Covid-19. Have listed 2-3 items in a few lines below to reflect some things that we used to do so frequently, not even knowing the value till we can not do them anymore. Let me know what you are missing due to Covid-19

यारों संग बैठे, बतियाये 

उसको ज़माने बीत गए 

हंस के पीठ पे धौल जमाये 

उसको ज़माने बीत गए 

एक थाली से  बाँट के खाये 

उसको ज़माने बीत गए 

बीमारी है या बद्दुआ?

जब आख़िर थे हाथ मिलाये 

उसको ज़माने बीत गए